Maybe a career change is in order...

May 2, 2008 at 11:59 PM

The old saying goes "those who can do and those who can't teach..."

These days it seems like I cannot do either.

I'm sure many of you have seen teachers that fit this category. They play beautifully however they simply cannot teach. Or vice versa, they may not be the greatest player but are amazing teachers. There are also those fortunate ones that have teachers that are able to both a wonderful teacher as well as performer.

Lately I've been feeling less confidence in myself as a teacher. I do mean well and I WANT to learn to do well. Through my life I've had some wonderful teachers however I have also had some terrible ones. Those terrible teachers had served as an example of everything I did not want to become. Since junior high school I've wanted to be able to teach in the public schools be able to share the motivation and skill my own teachers instilled in me. I myself am a product of the public schools. Because I could not afford it financially I was not able to study privately until I was about 17. Through kindness and patience my private teacher has helped me come a long way playing pieces like Walton Viola Concerto, the Reger Suites, Schubert's "Arpeggione" Sonata, or Vieuxtemps Elegie. These are pieces that I thought would be forever out of my reach.

I wanted to become the next Mr. Holland, the next Roberta Guaspari-Tzavars, and the next Dorothy Delay of the music education field. I not only wanted to create passionate players but players that would play at a high level despite studying music in the public schools.

Alas, I've been feeling discouraged this year about that ever happening. I am patient and I get along with the kids find when not teaching. How ever when I'm in teacher mode my ability to connect is a different story. I feel like maybe I just don't know how to teach nor do I have a knack for it. I try to get training or learn from others when I can. I try to observe other music teachers, I've done Suzuki Book 1, 2, and 3 training...I will be doing Book 4 training in the summer, I'm going to the Ohio String Teacher Workshop directed by Robert Gillespie in July...I read publications sent by ASTA, MENC, and Strings Magazine to gain more insight and knowledge. Yet after 4 years of teaching at the middle and elementary school level I feel like I should be getting a lot more accomplished with my kids and I often see the class sizes dwindle. This is a reflection of me not doing enough to inspire them. I feel bad whenever I see looks of boredom or confusion. I especially become flustered when I hear bad notes, bad technique, bad rhythms, etc. It's so easy to spot the bad but what becomes difficult is knowing how to fix it to become good especially with so many levels of comprehension in a group setting.

I just wanted be remembered as someone that has a positive effect in the music education field. Not to be remembered as someone that turned them off music.

I wish I knew what to do. As discouraged as I am, I will keep trying to succeed in this path and see where it takes me. I gave up a lot for this and there's not turning back, nor would I want to.

Vent over.

From Patricia Baser
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 12:01 AM

I feel this way every year at the end of the school year. It's not you; it's the situation. Our students finish their standardized tests and then have 1 month to go. In their minds, they are already done. It is very frustrating. I have a group of students this year that are fine one-on-one but when they get with their friends they are out there. I am taking a break from middle school next year and concentrating on elementary. Maybe you could look for a grade level change or teach in a different setting.

From Stephen Brivati
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 7:07 AM

Greetings,
I feel your pain. I get frustrated in all differentt kinds of teaching situations.
It sounds to melike you are over focused on the aspects of teachign that shoudl be most strongly emphasized. this is the paradox we have to dela with. With groups of motivated kids studyign privately , perhaps with somwehat demanding parents this is not a problem. Keeping up the fun levels for kids who will lose interest as they see how difficult the iasntrument really is is tough.
One thing I learnt from teachign in primary education in otehr fields is thatthe first thing one needs to do is make praise the start point. Much more than you want to do. Really keep hammering away at how good such and such an aspect of some of the most excerable renditions was. Every time we correct a kid direclty we are reinforcing the idea that they make errors. lack soemthign or that what they are trying to do is diffcult.
I also think that groups of kids may need a little more variety of pieces at teh expense of real polish to keep them interested. As longas they have the pieces on file then you can go back and review a piec at a higher level in a differnet way. For example, change the rythms, add a jzzy chord or two, some left hand pizz on open strings or double stop drones.
Try to teach in terms of imagery thorugh games. Thereis a very good book called `Playing The String Game` by Phyliss somebody or other you can get from Shar. Taht might open up a new dimension for you.
Hope this helps.
Buri

From Paul Grant
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 9:21 AM

Thank you both for your response and encouragement. I'm glad I'm not the only one that has felt this way. Sounds weird but sometimes my mood is determined by how well a class goes. If it doesn't go well sometimes I got to bed at night losing sleep over what I could do better. I will definitely take your suggestions into consideration! Thanks again.

From Karen Allendoerfer
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 10:43 AM

I've always read very positive, inspiring things from you on this site, so I don't think you have an inherent problem connecting or inspiring kids. It sounds like you need a vacation, though.

I'm also a product of public school string education and had financial limitations on the quality of lessons I received. It's hard. I admire your achieving all you have and becoming a professional musician and teacher from that background. I also still remember Mrs. Chioto and Mr. Coppola, who were my elementary school music teachers and orchestra leaders in 4th and 5th grade, with fondness. I doubt they'd remember me; especially my first year playing, in 4th grade, I was really quite an uninspiring, middle-of-the-pack student who barely ever practiced. I think everyone was surprised when I stuck with it, my parents not the least of them.

These days we're all overly conditioned to admire prodigies and preternaturally mature children, especially in music, but the reality is that most kids are not going to be playing string instruments at a "high level" in elementary school. I think it's more important to just keep them in the game until their own motivation kicks in. And you're doing that. Thank you for not giving up on them.

From al ku
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 11:31 AM

paul, you are in a position to give. how the kids receive is their thing. the same applies to any other profession where you do your best and that is all,,,

From janet griffiths
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 8:37 PM

That you are losing sleep already implies that you are a caring teacher.Teaching in a public school situation is the most difficult and demanding. Try not to get discouraged, try to play once in a while pieces that are technically really easy .Probably the class will like the piece a) because it is easy to play and b) they make a nice sound.Kids know when they sound in tune and play with a good tone.Once you have found the level where they can all participate with quality you can move on from there.Just moving through Suzuki books might achieve your goal, look at other repetoiue.

From janet griffiths
Posted on May 3, 2008 at 8:37 PM

From Joe Fischer
Posted on May 4, 2008 at 2:24 AM

Paul,
You are in a remarkable teaching position.
Do not dishearten,you teach music--some get it and most don't care.
What you do is really important !
Just try to do your very best !
Young kids are difficult to deal with---especially middle school kids...
Just sluff it off as experience and and enjoy your summer of complete freedom !
Someone has to be free,might as well be you.
I hope.
Middle school is mighty tough to deal with...
Really,it's just like any other occupation---you can't tell how your offerings will be accepted.
It's all a part of the human condition.
No one knows the answers,just give all your best attempt--thats all....

From Yixi Zhang
Posted on May 4, 2008 at 4:35 AM

Paul,

Your bio suggests that you are still in university or maybe you are still at the stage of testing the water, but your last sentence in this post states that you’ve given up a lot for this path and that you wouldn’t want to give up, yet your title suggests you are contemplating change. So I figured you are in somewhat a quandary, yes?

If so, my question to you is this, do you keep on this path because you’ve invested too much in it up to this point, or because you must keep at it due to your passion, or because a commitment is a commitment, or all the above? The first reason is understandable but in my view a dangerous trap, and it doesn’t in any way justify the possibility that we may not have invested at the place that will make us the happiest and most fulfilled. Same can be said about commitment for the sake of commitment.

I don’t know if you have a chance to discuss it with some career counsellor at your university or someone with that type of expertise. What you are facing is a serious issue, as it’s about more than one's career -- it is really about being. This happens to be something I’ve been thinking about and working my way through constantly. Good stuff!

In any case, you’ll be fine if you do the best you can and keep your options open. Remember, the world is a huge place for one to grow and excel and you are never too late to change any path you’ve set for yourself, not if the change is for the best reason you are convinced of. I wish you the very best!

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Maybe a career change is in order...

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