Figuring out the future

February 13, 2008 at 10:10 PM

Well, I guess I have a plan now. In my last blog I talked about how frustrating my situation has become at my current school. I don't feel like I'm learning enough on my instrument, and the environment here isn't particularly challenging or inspiring. So, after looking at the options and thinking things through, I've decided to try and transfer somewhere else for my junior year. That'll give me enough time to do my research, save up, and prepare audition material.

In a way, it'll be like going through college auditions for the first time. When I graduated from high school, I really didn't audition anywhere but my current school, and even that was pretty casual. I new I'd be admitted and get some kind of scholarship. I'm just a little scared now because . . . I've never really tested the waters before in terms of the larger musical world. I've always been the big fish in the small pond, and it's starting to get really old. And discouraging. I'm sick of having no one to look up to. I honestly can't think of a competition, or summer camp, or master class that I auditioned for that I wasn't admitted to. That's . . . probably not such a good sign.

But things are going to be different now. I sent in an application to the Aspen Music Festival last month, with Paul Kantor as my first choice for lessons. So, I guess I'll just have to wait and see if I get admitted. Provided that happens, and the money works out, I definitely want to attend, so I can widen my musical experience.

As far as possible schools goes . . . I have three in mind so far. In terms of teachers, my first choice is probably CIM, where I'd want to study with Paul Kantor. I've only had one master class with him, but just that one class told me instantly that he was an incredible teacher. I continue to hear nothing but good things about him. Then, I'm also looking at studying with Brian Lewis at the University of Texas at Austin. I know him from my time at Sound Encounters music camp, and greatly admire him as a teacher, performer, and a person. My last idea so far is to study with Ben Sayevich at Park University (in Kansas City). I studied for him for a year before he moved to KC, and know that I would be challenged and learn a lot from him. I'm looking at audition requirements now. I'll need a concerto, obviously, two movements of solo Bach, some etudes, scales, and possibly one more piece (although a Paganini caprice could probably do double duty). I'm thinking of possibly starting the Dvorak Concerto and the Bach Chaconne over the summer. We'll see . . .

I should probably ask around and look for one or two more options, just in case. If I go to Aspen, that'll be a great opportunity to scout out other schools and teachers. With so many options, its just hard to know where to look without knowing any of the teachers . . .

I have to admit . . . the process feels a little daunting. But I'm not learning enough where I am, and I don't want to waste the precious time and energy I have now. At least now I feel like I have direction and goals. That's a start. I think the only thing that can help me at this point is planning and practicing. With emphasis on the practicing. ;)

P.S. I need a teacher who can teach me this. This is what I want to learn! And precisely what my teacher can't offer. I try to aim for this in my own practicing, but I can't teach myself. Agh!

From Tom Holzman
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 10:44 PM

Good luck with your plans!

From Craig Coleman
Posted on February 13, 2008 at 11:16 PM

Ruth,

I sympathize for your situation. All I can say and advise is that I trusted my teachers 100 percent from day one until now. I was lucky that way. Also I had parents that didn't want to make me violinist. My parents didn't come to one violin lesson and I'm very grateful for that.My father and I would practice together at night after being at school with my friends so we had alot of fun that way. I hope things work out for you.

Craig

From Stephen Brivati
Posted on February 14, 2008 at 12:24 AM

`this remains a mystery on my computer...

From Karin Lin
Posted on February 14, 2008 at 12:41 AM

Good luck to you, Ruth! I can imagine that it must be stressful for you, and commend you for taking control of the situation. I hope and predict that everything will work out great for you. Keep us posted!

(ps. your link to Buri's blog is messed up)

From E. Smith
Posted on February 14, 2008 at 1:28 AM

Good luck, Ruth! I think you're doing the right thing. My daughter had a lesson with Paul Kantor this fall and he was wonderful. We also had a chance to sit in on his CIM studio class. It seems like a great environment.

From Kim Vawter
Posted on February 14, 2008 at 4:20 AM

Park University was my undergraduate school. Did you go to school there too? I was pretty surprise to see something familiar in your blog. Also my teacher plays the Bach Chaconne (spell?) He had it memorized and played it for an informal gathering at a Christmas party--You could have heard a pin drop--It was so beautiful and unexpected. I am a new student of violin and reading about your journey is very inspirational for me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

From Laurie Niles
Posted on February 14, 2008 at 5:54 PM

You are showing yourself that it's okay to change paths when you need to do so, and the courage and confidence you gain through doing this well help you for the rest of your life. Life isn't any kind of straight and narrow path; it's more like a maze. Or maybe an unmarked wilderness trail!

Don't be afraid of jumping into a bigger pond -- at first it's a little scary, but ultimately, it's easier to grow there! (Somebody give me a ticket for using too many silly metaphors! ;)

From Sydney Menees
Posted on February 15, 2008 at 6:23 PM

You are awesome, Ruth! What you've decided to do takes guts, but I know you and I am positive you'll be able to do it. :) Take to world by storm!

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Figuring out the future

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