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Reese's Pieces: Performance and Nerves

April 16, 2008 at 5:02 AM

I have a performance coming up on April 27, and as my piano accompaniest had to cancel, I was on the hunt for a replacement. I spoke with one individual who is very proficient at playing piano and asked if she would be able to assist me. She explained that because of nerves, she wouldn't be able to play in that type of situation. Fortunately, since that time, I have been able to find another accompaniest, but the experience caused be to reflect on nervousness in regards to my own performance history. In terms of whatever physiological mechanisms come into play when one experiences nervousness before a performance, I have almost always found that it is actually a good thing. My concentration level is greater, and I also seem to have more energy in my playing which I am able to channel into the dynamics of the piece I am playing and the manner in which I am playing it. I wonder if my feelings in this regard are a common feeling among violinists.
Your type of nervousness is what I aspire to. But my type of nervousness, well, my type of nervousness sucks. It makes my hands cold and slow and kills any semblance of vibrato I might aspire to. It ruins rather than enhances my concentration. It's taken me 35 years to sort of grow out of it a little bit.

I think that if you can "get your butterflies to fly in formation" as they say, that's great for you. But I don't get butterflies. That's much too benign and pretty an animal to describe it. I get something more like buzzing wasps, or mosquitoes.

I took a workshop session on how to control this with specific exercised to stimulate both sides of the brain and breathing. I have this type of anxiety that really cuts out blood flow (I think) to my brain so much so that I cannot recall how to move. It is debilitating.
If someone could invent a magic pill for performance anxiety, i would be an excellent test subject.
Oh my goodness....nerves ! The buzzing wasps and mosquitoes is a great description for what I get when I have to perform...even to a small congregation of friendly brothers and sisters in Christ will do that to me !

and Kim....I too suffer brain freeze and I can't even recognize the notes I'm looking at...it's AWFUL !! And my bow arm shakes so much the hairs practically ricochet off the strings. I still have NO idea why I want to keep doing this sometimes...lol. I must age a year from stress everytime I get up to play in church. Somehow I get through it though ..what choice do I have ? put it down and play no more ?? NOT A CHANCE !!

Greetings,
yes,
I love being on that high in performance. Its an energy connection with the music and the listeners. It takes ages ot come down afterwards.
Cheers,
Buri