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November 29, 2005 at 6:33 AM

Well, I am close to settling on a violin teacher for my almost-three-year-old daughter. We observed a lesson with her a few weeks ago, and while she wasn't as formal as what I expected from a Suzuki teacher, I felt like she would be tolerant of the fact that my daughter is (and acts like) a two-year-old rather than a five-year-old. And the location is decent; I'd thought it would be easy to find a Suzuki teacher in the Bay Area, but there are far fewer than I expected. (Perhaps the Suzuki method is too regimented for the "liberal minds" that inhabit this region?) Of the teachers I did call and left messages with, over half didn't bother to call me back. What's up with that? Even if they didn't have openings or didn't want to take a child that young, it's just basic professionalism to return a call and say so.

A question for the teachers out there: how do you feel about parents giving their input about what their child should be doing? On one hand I don't want to step on the teacher's toes, and I certainly don't want to contradict anything she says, but on the other hand I do have years of violin experience myself, and I know my daughter well. For example, Suzuki teachers are big on not teaching note reading until the child is older, but my daughter has been reading English for months and I'd like her to be introduced to notes sooner rather than later. Also, my one worry with this particular teacher is that she'll move her students to techniques before they're ready, e.g. using fingers before they've fully mastered proper posture. Since I suffered as a child from not learning fundamentals correctly, I'm extra concerned that the same thing not happen to my daughter. So would I be out of line in mentioning these things to her teacher, provided I do it in a way that doesn't undermine her authority (like over the phone, outside the lesson)?

My own playing is going well...two consecutive nights of 1/2 hour practice is no easy feat for someone who works full-time and has two children under three. The legato double stop section in the Saint-Saëns Introduction and Rondo Capriccioso is a killer, but I'm making progress. And I have utmost faith in my teacher that she can help me get past any obstacles I have.

My sister lives in Oakland and her daughter studies with an excellent Suzuki teacher there. If you are interested in the reference, email me and I'll ask my sister for her contact info.
Looking at it from a parent's perspective, I see why you would want to give input to the teacher. When I was in junior high/high school my mom would often call my teacher telling her "Jenna is having an emotional crisis, try to say a few really encouraging things at her next lesson" or "Jenna is not practicing very much, get on her back about it." Those kind of things are really helpful for a teacher to hear, even something like "Jenna is crying herself to sleep every night because she hates the piece she is working on" could really give the teacher helpful insight. As a teacher now myself, I want this kind of feedback, but I do get annoyed when a parent starts telling me how to teach, what to do every lesson, how fast to move the child, and so on. If the parent shows they are really concerned about maybe one aspect...such as rhythm, I would be very happy to spend a little extra time working on that aspect. I want to work with my parents, and their input is very valuable, but when a parent goes home and doesn't practice what I say, doesn't take me seriously, or thinks they know better, their child is hardly going to progress at all. And the child will be confused over who is right. I've seen children lose all interest in the instrument because of this.
I think because you have more experiance with the instrument, this can be a great help. You will be able to understand what the teacher is trying to say, and correctly guide your daughter's practice time. But it can also be a hinderance. If the teacher feels threatened at all or thinks you are unhappy with them, they won't be able to teach the way they feel is best.
That's what I was going to say. I agree.
Jenna, thanks a lot for your comments. As I said, I definitely don't want to step on the teacher's toes, though I feel like I can and should give input in a general way. One detail I didn't mention is that it's actually my husband who will be accompanying my daughter to her lessons (and he's not a violinist) so it's not as if I'll be there in their faces all the time.
That sounds ok. But one question...how are you going to know exactly what the teacher wants? Obviously at her age, your daughter is going to remember nothing about the lesson...are either you or your husband going to guide her practice sessions every day?
All the best to you!