Twenty-five Below

January 26, 2006 at 10:40 AM

I had the piano tuner over today, since the upper register was now a quarter step off. Twice a year, like clockwork, I’m supposed to call him for an appointment. It had been sour for a couple of months now, but all the same, the timing for the tuning must be appropriately coordinated to the season. I wait until it’s good and darn cold before attempting to adjust, so the best times would be in the dead of winter, and alternately in the heat of summer. (You know that famous Alaskan heat.) The sound of those cluttered pitches makes waiting difficult, though. Greeting him at the door eagerly, I offered him a hot drink. “Come in, come in, ooh, it’s cold!”

I witness a change of character in people in general when the weather gets like this. It happens with animals, as well, in the face of adversity. Chickadees, for instance, will pile up by the dozens in the hollow of a trunk to survive. While a warm human dog-pile is an amusing thought, most people handle it in a similar, but less literal, way. Petty rifts and arguments temporarily fall aside, as man unites against nature. People smile and nod. They usher you inside. Strangers offer you hot drinks. Political and religious debates cease for a while, and everyone talks about the weather. How about that weather? Boy, we had twenty-five below at our house last night. Thirty below? That side of town is always colder, isn’t it? Remember that time back in ‘99, when it stayed 40 below for two weeks straight...

At a certain point, car tires freeze to the ground. Windshields crack and break. Engines may fail if you leave them off for more than a short coffee break, so all around town, the cars sit idling, filling the parking lots with steam fog. Fingers and joints are perpetually stiff. Students crack and bleed on my piano keys. Dogs prance as they try not to touch the ground while they find the quickest tree. Pipes break. Frostbite is just a sniff away. ...And yet, everyone is happier today, because each of us knows for certain that we are not alone in our misery, and the comfort found in such awareness is bliss.

Two hours later, tidy notes sounded once again from down the hall, in the studio. “Yeah,” he added, packing up his tools, “It doesn’t matter what precautionary actions you take, when the temperature plunges fifty degrees like this, pianos everywhere go out of tune overnight.” I noticed a hint of a smile as he spoke. Now I know why a piano tuner might choose Kenai for a home. I’m also suspicious that he might be giving me better attention because he knows I can’t stand the constant torture of having to hear twenty students play mismatched scales. He knows I’ll be calling again soon, with this kind of weather. Regardless, I wished him well and felt a bit of empathy as, red knuckled, he gripped the metal latch of his truck’s frosty door.

From John Lanceley
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 1:43 PM

Hmmm, im thinking of a visit to alaska, my tan could do with some work...

From Neil Cameron
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 4:17 PM

Oh sure Emily, try and scare me outta moving to Ottawa why don't ya?!

Neil

From Michael Schallock
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 5:51 PM

Only 1 below in Homer.
Move south.

From Evil Linda
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 9:13 PM

My electric keyboard never has that problem. :P

From Evil Linda
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 9:17 PM

This is so weird... Is it just my computer? Or am I no longer listed under the NY blog section... And the blogs I update don't show up?

From ES The Paranoid
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 9:19 PM

No more listing if you don't use your real name. As a minor, albeit an evil one, you are better off going unlisted rather than making yourself more of a target.

From Evil Linda
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 9:38 PM

And what makes you think Evil isn't my real name? ANd Linda my last. Hmm? Thats something to think about.

But seriously?

From ES The Paranoid
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 9:44 PM

Yes, seriously. No real name, no blog showing up.

From Bill _
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 10:18 PM

Ze chancellors forbid you from anonymity. Zey have a need to know everything. Unlike Shultz, who saw nothing and heard nothing.

BTW Evil, I found you in the phone book, under: Linda, Evil. 237 West Flushing Avenue, Great Neck, NY 11022 516-683-8967

From Evil Linda
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 10:31 PM

Since when? o_O

From Karin Lin
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 11:13 PM

Apparently it's ok to use FirstName LastInitial, though. So I wonder why Evil Linda isn't allowed? It's the same amount of info, or one could argue that it's even more. :)

From Emily Grossman
Posted on January 26, 2006 at 11:58 PM

I feel much more secure now, with Evil Linda locked safely in the dungeon. We will now torture her until she confesses her conspiracies.

From Neil Cameron
Posted on January 27, 2006 at 2:40 AM

One thing I've noticed about Linda is you don't need to torture her to get her to confess to conspiracies ... or anything else for that matter. Having said that, I for one certainly feel the world is a safer place with her locked up.

Neil

From Pauline Lerner
Posted on January 27, 2006 at 3:55 AM

Evil Linda is alive and well. See the picture of her in my blog.

Emily, things around here are so different. When the weather gets extreme (our version of extreme), people are even more unfriendly than ever. I have some friends from Minnesota, and they tell interesting stories. For instance, the woman was driving her car in very cold weather, and, when she turned a corner, one of the tires fell off the car. The air in the tire and, therefore, the tire itself contracted a whole lot because it was so cold. The schoolchildren are taught how to construct igloos to crawl into to get out of the wind if they're stranded somewhere. Honestly. These are not Paul Bunyan stories.

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on January 27, 2006 at 4:29 AM

They should be taught to not get so that away from civilization instead. And what's this about tires falling off when they get cold:)

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on January 27, 2006 at 4:35 AM

minus either 'so' or 'that,' your choice.

From Linda Lerskier
Posted on January 27, 2006 at 8:47 PM

What conspiracies? I was only convicted of a couple of frauds, insider trading, thefts, and maybe a murder or two. Not much to be afraid of.

There. No more evil in my "actual name"

From Emily Grossman
Posted on January 27, 2006 at 11:49 PM

I don't know, it might be in my head, but your real name still holds every bit of the evil connotation that your nickname claimed.

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on January 28, 2006 at 12:36 AM

I agree. Linda Sue Lerskier. It belongs on some 10 most wanted list.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on January 28, 2006 at 2:17 AM