Okay, now for something completely trivial.

October 25, 2005 at 8:05 AM

I have to confess, I burned my bagel twice today. In a row. The first time was typical and excusable: I'd occupied myself typing happily here at my computer until the charred victim's screams finally reached my nostrils. With a semi-frantic dash to the toaster oven, I assessed the incinerated carcass and emptied the toaster oven contents into trash can, swiftly, in order to avoid burnt fingers and cover up the crime.

Guiltily, I popped in a second bagel, aware of the fact that George would notice two were now missing from the bag, and I would have to admit that I burned one. He had warned me earlier--on four separate occasions, mind you--that this new oven toasted things really fast, to which I scoffed, "Oh yeah, like that's the most incredible oven I've ever seen. And you've said that four times already, gosh!" Continuing, I teased him for showing signs of premature senility.

I'm not sure exactly how much time elapsed during the second offense; I forget. I returned to my seat at the computer, glanced over my shoulder at the glowing window, and saw once again a black object where a golden brown one should be. The repetitive nature of my folly is embarrassing; the demise of Bagel Number Two was identically dismal.

Should I try it again? I'm a violinist; I inserted Bagel Number Three. This time, I watched. You know what they say about a watched pot never boiling, right? Have you taken the time out of your schedule to focus on a bagel long enough to watch it toast? Normally, I would call this an arduous task, but not today. It wasn't like watching leaves change color. It wasn't like watching stubble grow on a chin, or even like watching a sunset. No, it unfolded more like a time lapse in a science film. In about fifteen seconds, the edges started to tan. Two more, and the middle began to brown. In a total of only twenty seconds, the bagel had achieved deep sienna. I've never seen anything like it.

Three bagels later, I guess George was right after all. At least it didn't take four times to figure it out.

From Carley Anderson
Posted on October 25, 2005 at 11:49 AM

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

From Peggy Beaudoin
Posted on October 25, 2005 at 4:34 PM

"Emily Grossman": Not only a fine violinist, but master of the mundane. I am in awe and truly humbled. (Do you have any shots of bikini-clad violinists eating perfectly toasted bagels slathered with cream cheese? Bram might like to have them... :0D

From Kelsey Z.
Posted on October 26, 2005 at 12:29 AM

Congratulations, Emily! It would have taken me the 4th time to not burn it.

From Danielle Gauthier
Posted on October 26, 2005 at 1:03 AM

It must be "national burn your bagels multiple times"-day!

Three people i know (including me) burned at least two bagels this morning.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on October 26, 2005 at 1:48 AM

Peggy, no bikini-clad photos with cream cheese from me; I'm way too frumpy for cream cheese.

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on October 26, 2005 at 2:23 AM

oooooo! new non-frumpy picture! and she's holding it like a guitar. That's my kind of woman.

From Wes Surber
Posted on October 26, 2005 at 4:26 AM

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one around here that burns my bagels.

From Emil Chudnovsky
Posted on October 26, 2005 at 10:14 AM