Blogging, blogging, blogging

November 9, 2008 at 1:55 PM

A couple of weeks ago, one of my section-mates in the orchestra told me he'd found my violin blog here. While I knew this would happen, and I was actually surprised it hadn't happened sooner, I nonetheless felt a little self-conscious. He normally sits right behind me in the section, and so my bowing--my everything, including the occasional tapping foot and missed entrance--is right there for him to see every Wednesday night, even without the blog. He's a very good violinist, one of the best in the orchestra. And I don't know his story very well, but we started talking about it that night. I do know now where he grew up and that one of his former teachers is here on violinist.com.

That experience, and the recent changes in the blog format have started me thinking about why I am blogging and what my goals are. I started blogging just a little over 2 years ago, when I picked up my instrument again after a break of 8 years. My daughter was taking Suzuki lessons and struggling with them. I found this site when I was doing an internet search on the songs in Suzuki Book I. What I first found was one of the teaching threads, about the song "Lightly Row/Hanschen Klein" that my daughter was learning. I was impressed then (and continue to be now) by the thought that goes into teaching young children from the many wonderful teachers on the site.

I had also started a new job then that gave me more flexibility, and I guess something just clicked. I realized that I'd be more effective helping my daughter if I started really playing again myself. And then, after a few scratches and squeaks, it all came back to me how much I missed playing for myself. I had returned my rental viola to the shop all those years ago when, 8-months pregnant and exhausted, I'd decided that something had to give. And at the time, that something was music. :-(

I thought that the discipline of keeping a blog might help me (and, by extension, help me help my daughter) keep going. This has really paid off. Two years later, my daughter and I are both still playing. I learned about the 21-day practice habit, and both of us have done our 21-day stretches. We keep written practice logs. I've gotten suggestions for music, for tempos, for bowings. I found one of my old NYSSMA judges from 1982. I bought a viola. The thread on marked parts got me marking parts. I found both the courage to audition for a semi-pro orchestra and the equanamity to get over not making it. I started studying with a wonderful teacher, with whom I think I get more out of my lessons because I try out ideas here first. I have a somewhat regular performing schedule in church and at the local farmers' market--something that has required getting over bad stage fright to even contemplate. I have a concert this afternooon with a great community orchestra. My musical life feels very full and rich, and I am not sure I would even still be playing without this site, and this blog.

So those are my goals. I want to keep writing a blog, a "weblog" of my experiences in music. I don't see this as journalism, however. I am not reporting stories of general interest and I'm not looking to write catchy headlines, leads, or who-what-when-where-why structures. Honestly I have a somewhat uneasy relationship with the "featured blog" feature. For a while I cared too much whether my blog was featured. If it was featured, I'd be excited, but then, like when I found out that someone I know was actually reading it, a little nervous too. And then I'd want the next one to be featured, and if it wasn't I'd be inordinately disappointed. I found myself writing with the goal of being featured, with that always in the back of my mind. And not only did that not work out in terms of (not) getting featured, it also worked at cross purposes to my goals for this blog. It made me approach the blog as work, as an obligation or something to cross off my do list, as a source of anxiety. So I stopped paying attention to the featuring. I read and wrote the blogs I wanted to, when I wanted to. I still do that now, but I wish the list of bloggers and where they are from would come back. I've read every blog on this site for the past two years and there are very few (if any) that I haven't gotten something out of.

From Pauline Lerner
Posted via 138.88.132.111 on November 10, 2008 at 12:15 AM

Karen, I agree with you about watching the responses to your blog. With the previous version of the site, I used to go directly to the blog page, skipping the home page. Sometimes I went to the home page by accident and found that my blog was featured. I never knew why or why not. Watching the number of comments I get on a blog is similar. I usually get 0 - 2 comments. I take this to mean that very few people read my blog or find it interesting enough to comment on. I know that the number of comments people get on their blogs is monitored by the Nileses. I don't want to get into competiive blogging. I wrote largely because I enjoy writing as an outlet for my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I admit that I feel good when someone comments that they like my blog, shows me a new perspective, or reinforces me. I'm considering adopting a "no comments" policy on my blog and letting people click on the email icon placed conspicuously at the top of my page if they want to "talk" to me.

From Dottie Case
Posted via 69.29.255.108 on November 10, 2008 at 4:19 AM

I've asked myself the question before too, "who am I blogging TO? What's the point?". I think there are definitely people for whom writing a thing down is to experience it in its fullness. And I think sometimes it's important to stop walking and take a look around a bit, and appreciate the scenery.

If I think about blogging just so that others will read, I become conflicted. Makes me wish I had one of those clever nicknames that ones uses in chat... It feels too exposed in a way to write something out (on the web, under my OWN real name:) with the intention that others should read it. And yet, I really enjoy reading others' blogs.

I struggle with the question of staying a passive reciever or 'going for the blog'. There are times that I just choose not to write, because I am wrestling with the why. So, I am glad that some of you do anyway, so I can enjoy yours:).

From Karen Allendoerfer
Posted via 71.184.114.154 on November 10, 2008 at 11:44 AM

Pauline, I do watch the responses, because if someone responds I want to answer them back. I enjoy "meeting" people here (if only virtually) and it seems to happen more naturally in a blog than in discussion.

But I figure people are busy and I know there are often blogs I read that I just can't formulate a coherent response to in the moment, so I don't comment. I'm sure that happens to other people. I also decided to try to stay out of political blogs after I got into it on one a few months ago and received an extremely rude and personal comment directed at me. Laurie deleted the comment and banned the person from the site, but I still felt like maybe it would be better to keep my mouth shut on political issues. And then I don't always follow my own advice . . . but there are various personal reasons why people might not comment on any particular topic. So I try not to read too much into lack of comments, I just appreciate the ones that I do get.

I keep mentioning wanting a list of people and where they are from, though, because I also read the blog archive. When I first joined the site a couple of years ago, I went back and read all the entries, from the beginning, of at least 4 bloggers--Laurie, Pauline, Karin Lin, and Emily Grossman. Laurie's description of buying her violin, "the Italian," and seizing the moment, moved me and still stays with me. Karin doesn't blog much anymore--she's probably wisely spending the time practicing instead--but I found a number of parallels between the path she followed as an adult re-beginner with young kids and what I'm trying to do. And so I found her blog inspiring. There was something in both your story, Pauline, and in Emily's (and more recently in Dottie's too) of becoming a violinist and/or violin teacher after difficult or otherwise unusual circumstances, that I also thought was very interesting and inspiring. Much more than photography, which I enjoy but usually only look at once, the personal stories got under my skin and came back in memory when I maybe didn't expect them, but needed them.

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Blogging, blogging, blogging

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