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August 13, 2005 at 6:20 AM

I've been whining a lot recently---verbally, here in writing, and in my head---about how little time I have to practice my violin. As a child I played because my parents started me at the age of four and it never occurred to me to quit until I left college and opportunities became far fewer. Coming back ten years later, having fallen in love for real with the violin, and really playing it because I want to, it's frustrating that I can't give it as much time as I'd want. So this was going to be one of those "you young people don't know how good you have it, blah blah" posts that would undoubtedly make me quite unpopular, considering the large number of youth here at Violinist.com. :)

But I finally internalized something I used to say back when I was in a musical theater group at MIT that always had difficulty recruiting students who were struggling with the difficulty of balancing the heavy demands of school with the smorgasbord of available extracurricular activities. That statement was the following: "If someone says he doesn't have time to do something, what he really means is that it's not a high enough priority." And so it is. My violin studies are important to me, but there are a few things that are more so: my family, my work, my health, and the few hours of volunteer work I do a month as a Spanish interpreter at a free clinic (foreign languages are my other passion). As much as I love my violin, I'm unwilling to sacrifice these three activities for it.

So, yeah, I could make more time to practice my violin. I could spend less time with my husband and young daughters; I think most here view family as important enough to understand that this isn't an option. I could spend fewer hours at work (which truly is my biggest time sink) but not without jeopardizing my job, which I love and which feeds my family, as I am the primary breadwinner of my household (my husband is a stay-at-home dad who does occasional contract work). I can't give up sleep, food, or exercise without sacrificing my health, which would ultimately make me less effective at everything. And the four to six hours a month I work at the clinic are the bare minimum I need to maintain my Spanish fluency and feel I'm contributing to society, so I'm not giving that up.

To summarize this long, rambling revelation: It's not that I don't have time to practice my violin. It's that I've decided other things are more important, and I'm comfortable with that decision. As my girls get older and my work gets less crazy, maybe I'll be able to devote more time to the violin...but really, I've already made my choices.

To excel at something you have to be single-minded, for however long it takes. This is why there are no violinists coming out of MIT. Interesting that someone from MIT made me conscious some years ago of what you said about priorities, using the exact language you used. Do you have time now? Do you have time now? Do you have time now?

"Umm, listen, she doesn't really mean she doesn't have time..." :)

P.S. Some people prioritize consciously, and others less consciously. It's good that you can look back and approve of what's happened.
Yes, well, I never said I wanted to excel at the violin. I just want to improve, and obviously that isn't going to happen as quickly as I'd like, but I'm okay with it.
Maybe excel was a poor choice of word. That's always my goal though, then the chips fall where they may. Just my approach.
Hello, Karin: That is a common problem to all of us. I responded to another blog with the following. I hope it helps. Cordially, Sandy Marcus
------
As a professional psychologist and an amateur violinist, I figured out a solution for myself when I was in graduate school years ago.
I had no time to practice, and I didn't like practicing, anyway.
So I figured out a system. The rules are:
1. You have to practice a MINIMUM every day. Every day, without exception. You can play more than the minimum or just the minimum. But you have to do the minimum. You are then "off the hook" for the day. You can keep playing, or go on to other priorities.
2. The minimum is 3 minutes. Don't laugh. After 3 minutes, do whatever you want.
3. But that 3 minutes is with FULL CONCENTRATION. You take a detail of an exercise or scale or shift or bow change or whatever. Play it slowly with full concentration and with the goal of making it PERFECT. You can do something different every day. 3 minutes. After that, do what you want.

Advantages?
1. You play EVERY DAY, because you can do 3 minutes on your worst, most crowded day.
2. You learn to concentrate every time you pick up the instrument.
3. You get a sense of accomplishment rather than frustration.
4. It's much, much better than not playing at all.
5. It will help your motivation and your management of time, because you're not faced with only 2 unsatisfactory choices (either not play at all, or grind away for hours you don't have the time and energy for).
6. Therefore, you can keep the violin as a priority.

Hope that helps.

Cordially, Sandy Marcus
sanderm1@aol.com

Great advice right there...
Hey...
I've been lurking. But I'll finally come out in the open. I am writing this in response to the Psychologist. I'm a professonal Surgeon and amateur violinist. I really like the three minute minimum idea. I have a 5 minute minimum every other day, it comes out similar. Good luck Karin. Nobody stab me, this is the first time I've written anything on here.
No stabbing here, welcome to public existence. :) I'm working on the "every day for a short time"; not quite there yet, but I'll practice for fifteen minutes instead of nothing when half an hour isn't possible (like this morning before I came to work). What kind of surgeon are you? You must have good hands!