So tired...but not giving up!

March 16, 2006 at 12:31 PM

I wanted to enrol for the next exam session in May, but my teacher thinks that my technical works (scales, arpeggios, double-stops, bowing exercices etc.) are not quite ready. She proposed to postpone it to September. I admit, based on what I played to her that day, going for an exam would be suicidal.

I wanted to prove her wrong. I switched to "exam mode" and for the past 2 weeks, I've practiced my technical works inside out, upside down, front to back and back to front. By now I've memorise all that is required for the exam (with a few more things to fix). I look forward to seeing her reaction to my rapid progress in the upcoming lesson this Saturday!

Most of the time there are no set pieces or technical works I am supposed to play for my teacher. I'd like to change that and take things in my hand. I shall write her a list of the exact things I want to play for every lesson from now (like a concert program). I hope she will like this idea.

There has been a little unpleasant "politics" going on in the orchestra rehearsals. The 2nd violin lead will be away for 4 weeks. The concert master wanted me to take her place because I have not missed a rehearsal so far and being one of the few that actually practiced in between rehearsals. 2nd violin lead obviously was not happy and came up with reasons to shuff me at the very back. I just want to play and have fun. Leave me alone!

Work has been very demanding lately. When you realise you're still working at 1:30am, something is terribly wrong with this job. I'm surprised though to still manage time to practice so much. I'm pleased with my effort and hope my teacher will to. I hope I get to keep this up.

Sometimes I wonder, why am I so obssessed with the violin? If I weren't, I'd have so much time to do other more entertaining and relaxing activities... like watching a movie or go to the Commonwealth Games now running in Melbourne. But when I run my fingers up and down the finger board, my bowing being absolutely smooth, I get the tone and intonation I wanted, and think back how far I have come, it definitely worth all that's been sacrificed!

Where am I going with the violin? No sure. Let's just enjoy the learning process for now!

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on March 16, 2006 at 4:17 PM

There were plenty of times I worked until 1:30 at my last job, ocassionally all night. I enjoyed that part of the job. I probably worked inefficiently just to stretch it out. But at the same time it wasn't easy stuff and I'm not sure how many people around could have done the work, which was cool.

From Eileen Geriak
Posted on March 16, 2006 at 7:05 PM

William, I soooo relate to how you feel about the violin. I can't stay off it myself ! Obsession ? I don't know, all I know is I just LOVE it !
Keep up the good work William ! Try not to let the "politics" spoil your fun...let them grouse if they want to, you just enjoy !!

From Sheila Ganapathy
Posted on March 16, 2006 at 9:15 PM

You sound like me with everything you say from your obsession with it to the fact that you can't give up and don't know why you do it. Everything you write about, I address in my blogs as well, funny isn't it??

Sheila

From William Yap
Posted on March 17, 2006 at 2:41 AM

Jim, I'd glad you are enjoying what you do for a living. If you're working mad hours, I hope you are compensated for it. I was like that when working in Asia but the coking environment is a little better in Melbourne. Though, I never get anything extra for working late.

Eileen, completely agree with you to stay out of the politics. Just there for the experience and fun!

Shiela, I'm glad I'm not the only one in the same situtation. But I think I did read quite a few people in the same boat.

People like us help so much supporting with the classical music industry: we are the ones buying the CDs as a source of inspiration, we are the ones paying for lessons and music books, we are the ones going to concert with admiration etc.

From John Chew
Posted on March 18, 2006 at 2:11 PM

William,
I feel your pain about working until 1:30am. I used to work for one of the Big 5 public accounting firms in NYC and remember (with a shudder) those long hours. What is remarkable is that you are still practicing, and from your blogs doing exceptionally well! You inspired me to go into "exam-mode" which is what I am going to try. I am not at your level yet, but consistent smart practice hopefully will pay off in the long run with my technique, tone, and intonation.

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So tired...but not giving up!

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