Look at the Birds

August 11, 2006 at 6:58 AM

Dude, you so much as try to mix Kool Aid while sitting next to me on a plane, and I'd tell on you so fast...

Yeah, well you should have seen me in third grade, Emily the Wandering Tattler.

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I was feeling anxious today. I get grabbed by an impending sense of doom that I can't shake some days, and then I start canning soup and stockpiling like a stash-happy squirrel on a mission. George will be leaving me for four months this fall, and I don't like the idea of being all alone if something big were to go wrong. I want to be strong and self-sufficient; the best way I can overcome fear is to be active and aggressive against it. Otherwise, I will be spending many evenings incapacitated by worry this fall.

So today I canned a big pot of soup for winter, and I walked around the lake. And again. And again.

Who's going to help me? Who can save me from harm when everything is out of my control? Not many people really know what it's like to be at the mercy of the elements. Money can get you a few things. Maybe. Food stashes are wise. Physical ruggedness can make travel by foot manageable, if necessary. Knowledge can help you build a fire or track down water, if it came down to that. But in the end, all your efforts would be pretty feeble.

What frightens me really is that the God I believe in who loves me doesn't guarantee a suffer-free life. I only know that He's been good to me so far, and perhaps I can bank on His continued providence. I don't know, though.

As I walked by the spruce trees, a chattering of high-pitched "tweee"s caught my ear. Little flitting kinglets were trailing me through the forest. I stopped to watch as they were joined by curious chickadees, who bravely inspected me just out of arm's reach. I observed them for several moments as the flock made its way up and down the dead limbs in search of good eats. They stayed nearby until I decided to continue down the sawdust trail.

Suddenly, it seemed as though all the little wild things made an appearance. Spruce hens flushed into low branches in a startling explosion of feathers and moving air. Busy-body squirrels froze in split-second intervals. Blackbirds, magpies, and woodpeckers all gathered. What is this, Snow White or something? I laughed out loud.

Little birds, who's going to help you? Who's going to save you from harm, when it seems everything's out of your control? You seem to be more vulnerable to the elements than I--yet in some strange fashion, everything's all perfectly orchestrated and running along, just as intended.

Each little bird is well-equipped and surviving. Not only surviving, but singing!

From Pauline Lerner
Posted on August 12, 2006 at 3:55 AM

Emily, I know the feeling. I have lived alone for years, and I have no family and very few close friends to help. Add to this the facts that my health is not good, I'm broke, and I don't have a car, and you will realize that I am very vulnerable to whatever may happen. If you feel especially lonely or scared when George is away, give me a call, and we can cheer each other up.

From Wanda Jenkins
Posted on August 13, 2006 at 8:00 PM

"I don't worry 'bout tomorrow 'cause I know who holds my hand..." runs through my mind after reading your post.

The woodland animals popping out to greet you appears to have a touch of the Creator's humor. :-)

From Judy Terwilliger
Posted on August 14, 2006 at 1:58 PM

Emily,

I always enjoy reading your posts, your eloquence.

I am assured that the God I believe in will provide the things I need to endure. He has told us so. If I am going to believe in God, I must also believe God, in everything.
I have learned that He is always in control. I may not know what He is doing, but then I don't have to. His plan is better than mine.

You're right that He doesn't guarantee a suffer-free life but He is always good and we can bank on His continued providence. We know this, because He tells us. Have you seen the poem, footprints in the sand? When times are difficult, we can depend on Him to carry us through. Friends help too.

Hope this helped, I didn't mean to lecture but to encourage. It will be difficult with George gone, but I imagine that you will be able to talk to him fairly often, you have your friends here and at home, and God will continue to provide.

Judy

From Emily Grossman
Posted on August 14, 2006 at 11:45 PM

Wanda, the little critters always cheer me up. Unless they suck blood.

Pauline, you bring me to a fact about myself, that I have friends all over to reach, and I never pick up the phone. I don't know why.

Judy, thank you for the encouraging words.

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