August 13, 2005 at 3:47 AM

Wedding Vows

Raise your bow if you've ever:

--Read your solo off the piano accompaniment.
--Taped a stand/music up like a hostage for an outdoor wedding.
--Preluded for a boat entrance on a cannery dock.
--Took your cues from the entrance of the dogs.
--Unravelled a string between the second and third run-through.
--Waited for a keyboard to magically appear for accompaniment.
--Made an extra rehearsal because the video didn't catch it the first (or second) take.
--Used a translator when coordinating the music.

This list was compiled just from today's rehearsal.

Certainly, in playing the violin, you will discover in a short amount of time that violinists are in high demand for wedding music. I wish to warn all would-be wedding musicians to consider the high stakes and infinite complexity of wedding gigs before agreeing to play, especially if you are asked within one week of the special date.

Do not be deceived into thinking that the gig in question will be any different from the scenario I just described. All this, and more, happens every single time, without fail. You must have the temperament of a plaster-smile yes-man with pretzel-like flexibility. If you do not have such qualities, they can be yours--for just the right price.

Don't sell yourself short of your worth. After all, you are the glue that binds this wedding, not the vows. If it was just vows they were interested in, they wouldn't have hired the boat and included the dogs.

So, before you book that next wedding gig, ask yourself the value of your magic touch during that crucial moment. Ask yourself what kind of amazing person it takes to be able to create keyboards and stands out of thin air, to parade the party in orderly fashion while timing the music down to the second, to speak Russian, and to turn a good phrase while fighting gale-force winds to keep the bow on the string. Think about the humidity, the rain, the glaring sun, the frazzled bride and groom, and the father-in-law who would like to know when you are going to play D for his cue. Consider all this, and the little dog, too, before you set your price, and make a vow never to sell yourself short again.

For the right price, you will be able to smile through anything. And it could be anything; trust me.

From Carley Anderson
Posted on August 13, 2005 at 9:50 AM

Ha ha ha! I'm playing for a wedding in September...a friend is getting married. I told her that I wouldn't be her friend if she was late, because I'm playing really difficult preludes for her. :) Sounds like you had a fun time... :/

From Pauline Lerner
Posted on August 13, 2005 at 9:35 PM

Emily, did all this really happen at a wedding? The boat and the cannery? The barking dogs? I hope you were paid very well.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on August 13, 2005 at 10:06 PM

It's not over yet. That was the rehearsal. We'll see what happens next...

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on August 14, 2005 at 12:16 AM

Traditional Alaskan wedding. The bride is rowed to shore by her father and the best man, the groom comes in from the other direction on a dog sled, and the bride and groom meet in the middle and exchange fish.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on August 14, 2005 at 4:02 AM

That's pretty close to reality. Actually, one of the prizes in a race I ran today was a free sled dog ride. I'm bummed I didn't get it.

The biggest hitch at the wedding was that the accompanist got lost in the exit music and hopped around a bit "like rabbit" (as she later put it), and then stopped altogether while I continued. I felt kinda like the last kid talking when the teacher enters the classroom.

I didn't want to play that ending anyway.

From Pauline Lerner
Posted on August 16, 2005 at 12:50 AM

Emily, you still haven't answered my question.

From Emily Grossman
Posted on August 16, 2005 at 4:02 AM

Oh, sorry, Pauline. Yeah. I don't make these things up. I'm not that creative.

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