October 29, 2005 at 6:59 AM

I'm so bored. I was thankful that it took twenty minutes for me to select the right shade of red nail polish at Fred Meyer's this evening. Perhaps an extra two miles on the treadmill? That's another twenty minutes, if I go slow. Really slow. Another twenty to make sure my nails are dry. Another twenty rows on the scarf I'm knitting. Hmm, I could go to bed early...

I thought I could practice. I had all the time in the world to practice. Got my refill of coffee and twenty etudes, enough to keep entertained all day. But something happened to my mind. I absorbed myself in left hand technique today, after spending three days mostly on the right. Every time I concentrate on shifts, double stops, and finger dropping technique, I fall into some kind of intonation-induced trance. Forget about musicality, about the bow, about anything except these softly droned featureless notes. My ears strain as they beg for smoothness; meanwhile, the notes iron out the wrinkles in my brain, too.

George interrupted to notify me of the phone call. Courtney says we will have a costume party next week, and could I make it? I don't know. I went over my schedule with her. She noted, "You sound really tired." I wasn't aware of any fatigue. Returning to the studio, I found my way back into a Bach Partita. Slowly, I drifted off in my mind and came back again somewhere after two pages with no recollection of what I had just played.

I'm not tired. My mind is dull, thoughts far away. Perhaps it's because we haven't made it above freezing all week, and now I'm coming to grips with the fact that it's here: Winter. The bears get smart and check out through this part. We'd like to join them, sometimes.

Anyone want a scarf?

From Sara Bull
Posted on October 29, 2005 at 4:33 PM

Hi, Emily,
This is in no way to be considered professional advice, but, have you considered trying a lightbox? A number of circadian rhythms are light-dependent. Some people think and feel much better when they have daily exposure, for at least half an hour before 8 am, to a light that contains the wavelengths of summer sunlight. The "before 8 am" part is important because there is a cortisol peak at 8 am; the light isn't effective for your purpose if it is used after the peak. I have heard that there are a number of fake "therapy lights" on the market, so be careful. One reputable company is Sunbox at www.sunbox.com I am sure there are other good companies, but this is the one with which I am most familiar. Light therapy is something that either works or doesn't; you will know within a few days--and reputable companies will refund your money and let you return the light if it doesn't help.

From P-Zan Leong
Posted on October 29, 2005 at 7:21 PM

In between each practice (for violin) I turn to the piano and play a few songs before resuming on the violin. For variety so I don't get too tired/frustrated, especially attempting to master a section of a piece (like the second section of Paul Essek's Slavonic Dance. Tricky double-stops)

From Emily Grossman
Posted on October 29, 2005 at 7:24 PM

How about two tickets to Hawaii? Would that work? Yeah, we know how it's done. I leave in four weeks.

Went tanning yesterday, and that felt really good. Red nail polish and a party at my house tonight also works wonders. Thanks for the good suggestion, Sara.

Back to knitting...

From Emily Grossman
Posted on October 29, 2005 at 7:30 PM

P-Zan,

I play piano in between, too! I enjoy playing accompaniments and listening to how they fit with the solos. I also enjoy Bach--English Suites and preludes and fugues from The Well-Tempered Clavier. (It always comes back to Bach!)

From Jim W. Miller
Posted on October 29, 2005 at 11:33 PM

With two parties, one of them yours, having to check a schedule, fingernail polish, tanning, trip for two to Hawaii, and being bored, you just don't get my sympathy.

Sara, what does it do to your rhythms if there's a light on all the time? I usually sleep with a light on. I discovered when I close my eyes it gets dark.

From Mellisa Nill
Posted on October 31, 2005 at 3:58 AM

Emily,

There's hardly any snow on the ground. It's going to be a long winter if you're already suffering from lack of light. I mean, if you're going to take off for Hawaii, wait until there's a foot or 2 on the ground!

Take a deep breath, soon, we'll have enough snow to ski and break up the monotony!

Mellisa

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October 29, 2005 at 6:59 AM

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