Scratch That One Off the Bucket List - or not

March 22, 2016, 7:25 PM · Two months ago, I decided to delve back into the world of Bach and study the 6th Suite again after getting lucky that this Suite wasn’t pulled out of the hat at a studio recital. It is a piece that has been on my bucket list to perform for a very long time. This past Sunday, another recital was held and this time I performed it.
Was it all I hoped it would be? Well, No and Yes.

-No because I faltered in the “easy” places and had to stop and re-start – like right after the opening measures, and at the transition point just before the sextuplet arpeggios.
-Yes because I didn’t falter on the arpeggiated chords going up to 6th position.
-No because for the first time in many years I got the bow arm shakes.
-Yes because the bow arm shakes weren’t noticeable to anyone except me.
-No because my intonation wasn’t at its best
-Yes because I nailed the final chords.
-No because I was a nervous wreck by the last note.
-Yes because my peers gave me a rounding applause.

A lady in the audience, a very advanced pianist, pulled me aside afterwards and said something to me that nearly brought me to tears. She said to me “Honey, it was obvious to all of us that you worked very hard on this piece. You played it with passion and the music out-shined your mistakes. Be proud.” True to her word, I received several compliments from my peers. I had to work hard to respond with a simple “Thank You” and not voice my own perception of the performance. The teacher who put on the recital told me that the only way to cure stage fright is to keep on performing, especially with challenging pieces.

It was too soon to perform the piece to the standard that I thought I was at in my mind/practice room, but it was the right time to perform the piece to show myself where I really was and to share what I’ve learned in a few months – the real purpose of performing at a studio recital. It’s not a competition. It’s not meant to be perfect. It’s meant to be sharing of a common passion, mistakes and all, which forms our small community of adult students.

Will I perform this Suite again any time soon? Probably not. Bach taught me his lesson that his music can never truly be “mastered”. It will be a few more years until I’m ready technically & musically ready to take it a step further.

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Scratch That One Off the Bucket List - or not

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