March 16, 2004 at 8:40 PM

i dont know what happened, but i hate my playing. i hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it. its nowhere near it should be. my firend said this is normal and that my standards are just getting higher. i did about an hour on 2 sevcik exercises today. still, nowhere near wherei want it. i have to owkr on my vibrato and everything else technically. and musically too. ugh! so much work to do! this is the worst time of my high school life, with SAT stuff and viola oh damn. how am i gonna get into college. im nowhere near wherei want to be. i think its time for a major breakdown of my playing and a time of practicing incessantly. i feel like its not getting better when i want it to be getting better. that happens occasionally. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. well, just makes me want to work harder. i can overcome this.