May 2005

May 29, 2005 02:33

Inspired by the incredible technique I have seen by most performers at the competition, I have put myself on a heavy technique diet...
It has been years since I have, over a periode of time, done etudes, exercises such as Sevcik and Schradieck, and scales in a system like Flesch. I had kind of developed my own system of warming up, but I think it is time for some rigorous work.
On top of that, now I am officially without a teacher, I need to be my own teacher. And the best I can come up with to go back into the discipline my teacher exercised when I was a kid. Twice week lessons, playing scales, etudes and always some Bach, a sonata, concerto and maybe a virtuoso piece. A very well balanced diet, so to speak, while I was her student. So well balanced that none of my teachers afterwards felt the need to continue this, or maybe I send them unconscious signals, that I needed a more "loose" approach.
So back to basic for now. I'll start out with geving myself twice a week a lesson: recording everything twice a week, yes, even scales, and than listening to it, like I would to a student (which means I can't only be negative, I find it much easier to bring things in a positive critisism when it goes to somebody else, where as I am not quite physically beating myself up when I play f.i. out of tune, but mentally I don't leave one bit in place when it happens... even during concerts and more so during competitions, hence my nervousness...)
Hopefully I will be able to buy a video camera soon, so I also can start seeing visually where technical problems might have their origin.

I fins it funny, how now that I am no longer a student, I find myself reading "philosophy of music" and treatises on harmonic language. In school you could not get me to touch it.I barely left the building and to keep myself in shape Dandelot and Starer (eartraining) are on my desk...
Not only music related things, I spend several hours a day reading, putting my books on art history, world history and history of philsophy together, to get a better feeling about what it is humans find their roots in. History and Philosphy are so intertwined and art is always a reaction upon that. So as an artist I figured, I probably should be more aware of thoughtprocesses in society, both in a hostorical context, but also for the here and now. As a violinist you are bringing history alive. You play music composed sometimes more than 300 years ago, but if you don't know anything about the things that were playing, then I think you make it yourself unnecesarry difficult. There is another point of view: music deals with emotions, and emotions are universal and without any context of time. Often the music reveals the emotion, but sometimes it does not so obvious. I know Shostakovich concerto is not a happy, virtuosic concerto. I know Shostakovich lived in terror, in fear of his life and of the life of hos loved onces. But between knowing and feeling there is a difference. I need to emerge myself in it, and I think I have not done that enough. I know fear and terror in this age, and although the emotion might be simular (that is something we will never be able to find out) the circumstances are not. When 9-11 happened I was able to contact within 4 days all my loved ones. One hundred years ago, you might have heard something happened, a war started, but it could take years before you would know if your financee would still be alive. Living with that changes people and I want to understand more about what that is.
Why was Bach such a God fearing man, what was in that time that God was so powerful where as Nietzsche and many people around him, including Wagner and Strauss declared God dead. I know these things, but I don't understand them, I don't always understand the thought process. Maybe that is what I am excited about, in school we learn the facts. Now I want to know why the facts developed the way the became. Same goes for violin playing; I learned how to get around the instrument, I can play the big concertos. Now I want to be able to analyze what I am doing, how and why... so back to basics...

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May 20, 2005 12:35

The reason I played Mozart in the masterclass, was because today I had my first orchestra audition in the Netherlands. For once, I decided not to tell too many people, because I did want to have to confess to the whole world that I did not get the job.

So, I have played concerts and competitions and thought I had a clue what was going on. Such a fool, orchestra auditions are an absolute league of its own. Today, the audition was for Amsterdam Sinfonietta, somewhat like an European Orpheus, a no conductor, very small string orchestra, of very good quality.
On the rep list the usual first movements and cadenzas of a romantic and Mozart concerto, orchestra excerpts and Mozart duo KV 423. After I came back from Brussels I heard about the audition, so last week I informed if there was still a chance I could audition and I got lucky, somebody had just cancelled.

The first round was this morning: starting with Mozart concerto and orchestral excerpts. Mozart was ok, my usual nervous self with some intonation insecurities, but during the orchestral excerpts, I developed the ability for a pretty good upbow staccato, which is not really needed in Bartok and surely not in Brahms. I felt so naked, literally. Even though the music sounded completely in my head, standing in front of people and only playing one part without the others is one of the most difficult things to do. Honestly the only good description coming close is like feeling naked.
So after my first round disappointment I decided for my next audition I would try out some of the meditating techniques and breathing exercises. My next audition came sooner then expected: I made it in second round.

In the afternoon I was much more concentrated. I felt I had nothing to loose, since it was such a surprise making it into 2nd round, I just wanted to get rid of the nerves I had experienced that morning and turn it into a learning experience. So when I started the second round with Tchaikovksy, every time I felt the nerves I went back to breathing and focusing on sound quality and pretending as if I was playing everything in slow motion. I think this had the effect that in my orchestral excerpts I played somewhat slowly. The last thing was the Mozart Duo. I had played this about 10 years ago with my then-boyfriend. Guess who was the violist for this audition... my former boyfriend. It was very nice to see him again and play with him. So all in all, my second round was a lot more stable, but still with room for improvement for future auditions.
For me, playing a violin concerto is so much easier then these orchestral excerpts and my respect for all these people who go from audition to audition has rissen humongously! Some of these excerpts are shorter than the opening phrase of Tchaikovksy. If I blow the opening I have 40 more minutes to "make up for it", however in an audition you are out of luck if you can't grab the style, mood and all of this with perfect intonation, bowdivision and the most steady rhythm you can come up with. The last few days, I have thought back a lot about the orchestra rep classes I had with Steve Rose in Cleveland, I learned so much from this man.
In the plenning where a couple more auditions in the next few weeks, but... I am starting in september my trial periode with the orchestra!The first project will be one with conductor: Gergiev, not bad to start with, he just conducted the Met! The second all around the "Kreutzer sonata" with Janacek's quartet and a version for ensemble of the Kreutzer Sonata by Beethoven. I am so excited! I will have to work a lot in the next months on sound, because I sound way to New Yorky :-) but I am so excited. I will be able to learn a whole new aspect of violin playing and music making!

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May 19, 2005 14:07

Today I had a lesson with Nam Yun Kim on Mozart 4th Concerto. It was very interesting. Two years ago I performed it with the Juilliard Symphony together with Carlos Kalmar. I remember being in somewhat of an inner fight about interpretation. Kalmar was very "authentic" in the way he approached the concerto (I remember the orchestra holding its bow a little bit higher in the mozart symphony and stuff like that) whereas, I had prepared the concerto mainly with Mr. Perlman and therefor it was quite "romantic". For the Queen Elisabeth Competition I decided I would throw everything overboard and just play it the way I feel, which has become somewhat a compromise between styles.
After I played through the first movement Miss Kim started to tell the audience and me, she had studied this at Juilliard and when she came to Europe and played it for a violinist from Berlin, she realized there was quite a difference in thinking. Also she decided at some point to just go her own way and play it the way she felt it and the audience liked it. I don't think she realized how on top she was of my struggles, since I experienced exactly the same thing 2 years ago.

Some insights into competiting: as I found out, the jurymembers have, just like in iceskating things where you loose points with. Bending your knees is one of them. With that in mind, I must have been far in the minusses, because I move a lot when I play. Also she commented on my "looking into the audience". I never really conscious look into the audience, I just search for contact. I am not one of those violinist that closes her eyes the entire performance or focus on the fingerboard the entire time. I turn to the pianist, I turn to the audience,a lso with my bodylanguage I communicate. When this body language disturps the sound, ofcourse then it is not a good thing, but after a 3 hour trainride and wondering why bending my knees is such a bad thing, I still don't have an answer. When I play I have different reasons to use "bending my knees". What happens when you bend your knees... you work with gravity. Sometimes I need this gravity to "feel the ground" in order to combat nerves and knees that feel like jellow. But mostly it has to do with sound. When I bend my knees, my sound becomes deeper, richer. It has something to do with the weight you take off your back and the way you then relax muscles in your back. For the curious among you: try this exercise (I got it from a violin teacher in Switzerland several years ago, it changed my entire perception of the sound possibilities in my instrument)

Stand against a wall, preferably with a corner on you left side, so you won't break your bow. Now, bent your knees in a 90 degree angle, as if you were to sit on a chair. If there is somebody who can assist you, ask them to hold their weight agains your knees, that way you can entirely relax your back which is straight against the wall and put all you weight in your upper legs and lower legs. When your alone, obviously you will still keep some tension in your back, but you can still greatly reduce it. Now play an open string, slow bows. Keep your back against that wall, especially watch your upper back and neck and head, everything in contact with that wall, loosing as much tension and weight in it. Listen to your tone as you try to accomplish the "letting go". With me the sound always within 5 minutes magically opens and the fiddle sounds amazing. After the years, I now only have to remind myself or look for that feeling and bending my knees slightly when playing helps me. So, maybe I loose a point in viewing aesthetics, but I am sure I gain some in sound. And by the way, I like my dress a whole lot better than watching gidon Kremer, I must have some "viewing aesthetic points" left over. And if not... well I am a musician and as long as it sounds good, I don't care if I have to stand on my head!

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May 15, 2005 16:33

Everubody in violin world is talking about the Queen Elisabeth Competition. Actually not only in violin world. A couple days ago I had a doctors appointment and when I told her I was a violinist, the doctor immediately asked me about the Queen Elisabeth Competition, which I could proudly report her to just have returned from. Everybody ofcourse wants to know what I think, who is going to win, and who is not.

Having been a participant at this competition and knowing people for already quite some time who played in the semis and some of them making it to the finals, I just want to say, that everybody accomplished enormous amount, regardless from the results. Today I was on the phone with a Russian violinist, who also did not get through the first round, but she learned a whole lot from it. For some people on that stage (1st round or semis), it was like being at war, dealing with nerves and all, and they did not play their best, but they have an enormous potential. Others found themselves in the flow, everything working for them and still they did not advance to a next round. I think every single participant at this competition should be applauded for preparing this amount of repertoire, but even more for having the guts to go on stage. Because it is probably the most observed competition for violin that excists. In a sense the jury is secondary to what is really happening, in the bigger picture for me at least. Look at it this way; There are at least 135 violinist out there, passionate (all in their own way) about music and with that something great is accomplished. Participants came from Cuba, New Zealand, South Africa, so many nations from all corners of the world were represented all with one common goal, to make music as best as they could at that particular moment. Every single one of us played as good as we could at that moment, and therefor everybody gave their best. I think that's the real beauty about competitions, we just sometimes get so caught up in who we find better players then the others. Honestly, if I would have been sitting there in the chair of the jury, I don't know whom I would have picked. But that is not the important thing. For me I learned so much watching others, seeing some incredible left hands, bow division, and sometimes things that I don't agree with musically, but help me define even more clear what kind of musician I would like to be, what I would like my sound to be. Or sometimes somebody will be having a technical problem and I ask myself what I would be telling them, if I was their teacher. None of these musicians in the finals are perfect, and neither are we commenters. But it is the way they / we deal with their / our imperfection that gives them that personal edge, their sound, their way of communicating with the audience as one human to another.
Music is not about perfection, it is about humans. And humans react differently to different things. I get angry when I read in the papers that a jury chose for technical perfection over musicality in one round and that same newspaper prints with the next round that those same people lack technical abilities, even wondering if 12 people should have passed on to the finals. Maybe sometimes it is easier to say negative things about players or a jury, than find the positives. Maybe not everybody is a "seasoned" as this newspaper would like, but if we only would let the "seasoned" players perform, how does one get the experience? There is a difference between Khatchatryan at 15 and now, 5 years later.
Let's, next week, be looking and listening to 12 young people who are on a stage, wanting to share their story with us. Let's not be one of those listeners that want that story to fit our box. I am sure, when we, as an audience, take on a curious and encouraging role a little bit more often, we might find ourselves also transported into little musical wonders a little bit more often.

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May 8, 2005 05:00

Well, for me the competition is over. I have a strange feeling... I planned my life till the competition for years, and have not really thought about what afterwards. But I'll have plenty of time to figure it out. Today is the first the of the rest of my life!!! :-)

I can't say I am not dissapointed, in fact I really am. But I had (after Paganini) fun on stage, something which has never happened during a competition. I am normally way to involved in "not making mistakes". Ofcourse, on the 4 hour trip back to my parents home in Holland, I have played every single scenario of what I could have done different and what was not good enough. And honestly, there are still some things I can work on ;-)
I am tempted to want to go to another competition, but it would probably be "to show other people", which I don't think is a very healthy aproach for me, so for now I am going to concentrate on just my concerts, finding a place to live etc.

Competitions are a funny thing. Sometimes I think I play bad and I end up winning a prize, other times I feel somewhat good and I am gone after one round. Also when I listen this happens; Some people that I truly find to be very good musicians have not passed at this competition. What does that mean? Absolutely nothing! Bracha Malkin is a true musician, beautiful tone and her playing is very imaginative, same goes for Susie Park, Yura Lee, Natalia Lomeiko, and many others. The choices the jury made are not mine, although I do understand it upto a certain extent. But in the end the audience will decide who is going to be on the stage, and I know that many who were not passed, will be household names in the violin world, if they aren't already.

Thanks for all the good vibes, it definetly helped, I had a very good time. And now, I get to take a little break before I am on my way for concerts in Estonia, Switzerland, Holland, etc. Believe it or not, but I get to play the Four Seasons for the first time! I must be the only 26 year old violinist who has not performed it yet!

Greetings,
Carla

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May 6, 2005 11:46

Hi,
sorry I have not written sooner. I do not have internet at the hostfamily and I an depending on their daughter how drops in every few days with her laptop.
I played the first round and overall I am very happy. I started with Paganini 22 and 11, which were very shacky becquse I was so nervous. At so,e point my intonation was really off and I relaxed because I figured that I would not make it into 2nd round. From that moment on my tone started to open and Bach went farely well. I had a blast in Dvorak, it was so much fun. I absolutely look positively back on it. I even already got some offers for concerts, normally that happens after you play finals!

Tomorrow night I will know if I made into énd round. If I go by theaudience I have a good chance, people even shouted a bravo... We will see... I'll keep you posted!

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May 2, 2005 09:52

Greetings from a little town near to Brussels. Contrary to popular believe, there is a hughe difference between Belgium and Holland, and I feel I am in a different part of the world. I can't decide if that is because the keybord on the computers are entirely different than ours. I'm typing with 2 fingers ones more...

I am nr. 88, which means I am playing thursday morning. I had some great practicing this past weekend and I am looking forward to playing. Things are pretty uneventful, I practice about 7 hours a day and read a lot. There is not much to tell.
I start everything slow with metronome everyday, working my way up to the tempi, focusing on sound and intonation. I don't feel I can do much more than that right now, just solidifying everything.

Tomorrow I start rehearsing with the pianist, I am curious to see what that will be like and do to my nerves. For now I am calme and relaxed, enjoying oysters, aspergus from the garden and other things from the ghughe garden. The whole neighboorhood is rooting for me, this family has been hosting candidates for 25 years and this is the first time they have somebody who speaks a little bit Flemish ( I consider it to be Dutch like it was about a century ago, but I can not say that out loud, there always has been some tension between the flemish and dutch)

Anyways I am going back to my Paganini. I am playing thursday at 12.25, so send me some good karma and prayers!
Greetings, Carla

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