April 2005

April 27, 2005 13:43

Today I was in Brussels. As of right now I believe there are still 137 candidates. Many of them I know, there are already several students of Mr. Weilerstein (3 out of his class in NYC), there are 5 Dutch violinist, I believe this to be a record and all of them are amazing players, such as the assistent concertmaster of the Concertgebouw and the former winners of the Britten and Sion Competition, I never realized Holland had that many good players!
There are people I met at competition in Korea, Vienna, Sion and there are some people I know fro watching the QEC 4 years ago, some finalists from last time are again participating.

The jury is not anymore the jury it seems to have been for the past 20 years, it is younger, with for instance Mihaela Martin and Yayoi Toda (Who won the competition about 12 years ago). For years there were names such as Igor Oistrakh and Herman Krebbers. But Augustin Dumay, Pierre Amoyal and Igor Ozim are for instance also there this time.

About Augustin Dumay I have a funny story... A couple years ago I had to go to Portugal to play the Mendelssohn there. At the airport I saw a violincase with a person belonging to it that looked awefully familiar to me. I could not remember his name, or where I would know him from, but I figured I'd go up and just say hi. We talked for a bit, although he never mentioned his name. I figured I had probably met him in Verbier or somewhere alike. All of a sudden, during my concert I realized what his name was... Augustin Dumay... and I knew him... from the front of the CD cover at home!!! Oooooops... This will give me a chance to set things right :)

Today I had the chance to play in the hall. And all of a sudden, being on the stage, that fear I had experienced in Korea, was back. My knees where like jello, I had no control over my fingers, my mind decided to leave me at all (at least the common sense part of it... I was thinking only HELP!!!! OUT OF TUNE!!! WHAT PIECE AM I PLAYING? WHO ARE THOSE PEOPLE IN THE HALL -...my mom...- and alike.)
I never have experienced fear of failure like this. I am nervous for concerts, but it is a kind of excitement. This is quite different. On the way back I started wondering why I am doing this to myself, especially since I really love playing concerts, which seems to be in such contrast with what I am currently experiencing. I can not give a decent answer to the question. It almost feels like being afraid of hights and therefor going to the top of the Empire State Building.

At the moment I am trying to tell myself, it is only going to be 20 minutes of playing. The worst I can do is make a fool of myself for that moment in time and what then, what's lost then? But even when my mind is telling me that, my feelings are telling me quite a different story. A job at the local supermarket seems quite ok right now for a career, I don't want to have to go to the agony of being compared to 136 other violinists...

My pianist friend Reto spoke some encouraging words this past week: He really told me to put it in God's hands and trust him. Yesterday I read an interview with a Korean Soccer player for PSV, the champions here in Holland. He said that he learns the most from loosing games. I guess with music you can not really loose, but these situations teach me a whole lot more about me, my playing, its strenghts and weaknesses, so I will just go for that.
And I'll take it as a very good sign that the mother of the last winner of the competition is my official pianist!

Greetings from a very nervous violinist...

10 replies | Archive link

April 26, 2005 10:38

Ok, I will write a little bit. But I can not mention my former school anymore, got some bad feedback after my last entries that I promptly removed. And for those sceptics out there, I don't write this blog for attention of anything, but I know I enjoy reading other peoples blogs as well.

Tomorrow I will go to Brussels for the day, to enter the Queen Elisabeth. I can only go for the day, since I have to be in the hospital on thursday morning. That evening I have another try-out of the first round program and then on friday is the drawing of the lots. There are only 144 candidates as of now, participating and the grand total of 24 will make it in the next round. Friday evening we will hear which movement of Bach sonata and Dvorak Concerto we are playing in the first round. However they will not tell us which Paganini Caprice untill 30 minutes before we go on stage. That I find pretty nerve racking, I like knowing what is going on. Depending on which Paganini they ask, I might change my order. But such is life at the "QEC" (why does this sound like some Atlantic Cruiseliner?)
Mr. Weilerstein was kind enough to teach me in Boston and I once again made some incredible discoveries during the lessons, my practice has improved a lot because of it.
Anyways, I will try to keep people posted. Or you can follow the competition at http://www.imkeb.be

11 replies | Archive link

More entries: May 2005 • March 2005

April 2005

April 27, 2005 13:43

April 26, 2005 10:38

Subscribe

Laurie's Books