January 2005

January 27, 2005 19:45

While I am writing this, I am having real trouble keeping my eyes open. The days have been very long. Today I arrived at 7:15 at Juilliard, but I found ou school does not open until 8am. And since we had a rehearsal at 8am I had no choice but wait outside. Well, I actually had a nice talk with the security guards. You know, so often I walk by them, being busy running off to a class and not paying any attention to them. But it is good to once in a while take some times and connect.
My 8am rehearsal was the first Brahms Quintet rehearsal. Such an amazing piece, I really enjoyed myself even when so early.
This evening we had a continued coaching with Charles Neidich, with our clarinet-violin-piano trio (named the Nesher Trio). We continued Bartok and also a trio by a dutch composer, Hugo Godron, some really fun music, very jazzy!
It was funny, also in the two coachings with Mr.Neidich was the theme that we were thinking too much and we should just play and listen. (DON'T THINK TOO MUCH, JUST DO IT!!!)Finally I am being accused of using too many braincells, that has not happened very often.

Tomorrow we might have a chance to play for a Dutch Conductor, who specializes in 20th century music. Reinbert de Leeuw is conducting that evening the Juilliard Symphony in the closing concert of the FOCUS Festival.
I am excited to hear what he has to say.

All in all my first couple weeks in New York were great, when stressful. I have really started the new semester and I am looking forward to moving into my own place (although I would not mind to stay a little bit longer in Ilya's place, it is so nice!)
Tomorrow I will fly to Holland, have several rehearsals there over he weekend and then next week on to Russia. I am looking forward to it.

Goodnight!
Carla

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January 25, 2005 21:09

Today I had a wonderful lesson with Mr. Perlman. More an more I appreciate his non complicated way of teaching. He is so nicely straight forward, tells very clear what is going on, what is good and what (and how) to work on it.
Again I played Tchaikovksy Valse Scherzo. this tme already a lot better then last week with Mr Weilerstein, but still quite tense. Somehow I don't have the relaxing of the armpit quite down yet :) Seriously, I think we got more at the core of where the problem really lays: I was trying to show hat I had worked hard, tht in a year time I definetly did not loose my ability to play and all those other insecurity flabbers that I created in my mind. Mr. Perlman suggested that I read "The inner game of tennis / music", something which Miss Delay was very fond off appearantly. A lot of my insecurity lays in the way I practice. If something goes wrong I often get frustrated or sometimes even downright angry. I had a teacher how would call me during he 8 years I would study with her a cow when I would do something wrong and every time I play out of tune I had this "booooooo" sound in my head :) This is not a joke, I really do.
Anyways, Mr. Perlman told me a little bit about "unemotional" practicing, sarting out with 5 minuts at the time. Don't grade what you do, just observe and try again. When something is out of tune, don't go S**t that was nasty, but say that was too high/ too low, and correct the whole passage instead of just the jump.
All of this is ofcourse stuff I have known now for a while, and I knew I should do something with it, but hearing from Mr.P. hopefully will give me that extra push in the right direction.

While teaching Mr. Perlman came with this brilliant idea of a "practicing competition"... You go on stage, get a new piece and 15 minutes long you practice in front of a jury. The one who practice most effectively wins... I just started the sentence that that would be fun in studioclass, wen I decided to keep my mouth shut, but it was already too late. I guess we'll hav one soon...
Actually appearantly Mr. Galmian did something simular. He would give a student in studioclass a brand new eude and then practice it with the student in front of the other students. Sounds like a great idea, as long as I am the one listening to the lesson and not playing! :-)

I am excited. I really feel I have gained a lot in this lesson, now I just need to keep hold of it and internalize it, which might take some time. But I am going to try everything out before and during the concerts in Russia and see what happens.

Tomorrow a lesson with Charles Neidich, a wonderful clarinettist, on Bartok Contrasts. I am looking forward to that, but I still have some practicing to do on that.

Greetings from NYC,
Carla

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Silverstein and Bach

January 24, 2005 12:34

Here I am New York all white after a weekend of snow. the un shining and Central Prk calling my name to take a stroll in it and enjoy its beauty. However my body has decided it doesn't like this cold and I have been in bed with 102 fever for two days now.
Talking about bad timing, I have had to cancel three rehearsals sofar, and I am still debating how to get myself to eartraining later today. I can not afford to miss any classes, especially after missing last friday's class, which I had just forgotten about.

But being in Ilya's appartment has proven to be a nice place to be sick. He has incredible recordings, and I was so happy to see Mr. Silverstein's Bach recordings. Joseph Silverstein has been a great influence on how I play and think about Bach. I remember having some lessons with him at the Verbier Festivalwhere he really encouraged m o start thinking outside of the box. It was my first encounter of real romantic violinist (his sound is so sweet) who had had done true research into Baroque playing and ornamenting and came up with his own uniue interpretation. And he helped me find my voice in Bach. Often I still don't know what or how, but Mr. Silverstein made me curious to all the different opinions out there and I am very greatful for that. Before that I just thaught, I am a romantic violinist, this is how I am supposed to play Bach. If I were a baroque violinist I would not play it like that, but I am not...
Actually I really appreciate Ilya's (Gringolt) recording of the Bach as well, just because of that. The fantasy he uses, is really incredible.

Tomorrow I have my first lesson with Mr. Perlman, I'm excited about it! And I also finally have a place to live. It is a little bit more expensive than I wanted, but herefor I will have my own bathroom, which is nice. It is right around Columbia UNiversity, so lots of cool places to eat and hang out, a library right around the corner and only a 10 minute ride from Juilliard. I was already afraid I would not find anything at all!

Wel,, I retreating back to bed with some hot tea with honey and another vitamine c pill. Hope to write you soon in better spirits!

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January 22, 2005 09:56

Yesterday was the opening of the FOCUS! Festival at Juilliard. This year's theme of the weeklong modern music festival is the Soviet Avantgarde.
I you live in New York, and weren't at this concert, you really did miss somthing!

The concert started out with Arvo Paert's cello concerto, in which I was part of the orchestra. I had missed the first rehearsals, being a last minute addition, but when Mr. Sachs asked me to play I said immediatly yes, since I love Paert's music. However, this was not the average thing you would expect from him.
The piee starts out with a beautiful big round chord in D. However after that you will not recognize it as being Paert for a while. After some undefined following chord, the cello has something like a candenza in which the cellist has to do everything we were toldas 6 year olds not to do. Make scratchy sounds, moving he figers fast up and down over the fingerboard and then using the intrument as a percussion instrument, hitting knocking everything you could possibly think of. Don't get scared, the instrument might have gotten some scratches, but it sounded amazing! This is definetly one of the coollest concertos I have accompanied!

Augustin Hadelich played Schnittkes 3rd concerto very impressively, his sound always contrasting and complementing 13 winds. I always love it when the 4 strings come in at the third movement. Augustin's vibrato and overall sound was beautiful and I really enjoyed his interpretation of the concerto and the way he played together with the ensemble of this not so easy piece.

The second piece on the programm is one of the musical highest points I have had in a long time. It was an incredible experience. Giya Kancheli, a georgian composer born in 1935 composed "Midday Prayers" for ensemble with clarinet solo (played by Moran Katz) and treble solo (sung by Nathan Fletcher of the St. Thomas Choir School) Any ttempt of describing this with words will fail, it was just one of those experiences. This piece sounded maybe more like Paert then the Paert piece, but then again, it was very much an own style combining all sorts of traditional music. It comes from a set of compostitions, about his "night prayers" he writes: "I try to explore hope in my music, the kind of hope that is not necessarily fulfilled during one's own life, but after. Perhaps you can hear it at the end, in the song of the boy. I would be happy if [the composition] inspired feelings of sadness, compassion and hope, because this is a piece about life."
Well, I can tell you, it did. I cried like I have not cried for a long time. Not because of any particular emotion. I was just moved by the purity of the music, there was such sincerity in the composition. When the boy sang "Deus, Deus meus, respice in me, quare me dereliquisti?" ("My God, my God, look upon me, why has thou forsaken?" me from Psalm 22) everything in me stoppend. This childs voice, silently crying out to God in all its purity. And then the sound resembling a music box, the strings playing an upwarth motive and the boy "Ad te, domine, levavi animam meam" ("To thee, Lord, have I lifted up my soul" from Psalm 25)
It was one of those moments where everything that needed to be said was said, no more words were needed and with that the last pianisimo, but ever so present note of the clarinet showing us that God did no forsake us, that His Spirit is right here beside us.

If you are in New York this week I really would like you to encourage you to go to one of the concerts. Monday through thrusday are all chambermusic and solo works, with for instance on monday night Erin Keefe (my roommate from Korea) and Christopher Guzman in the sonata for violin and piano of Valentin Bibik and the Fratres version for cello ensemble. On tuesdaynight one of the pieces performed is the harp sonata of Oleg Felzer, the concerto sonata for violin and cello by Mikhail Alekseev (very cool piece!)and one of my favorite piecess schnittkes first String Quartet. Wednesday night there will be on the program a piece of Victor Suslin "Cappricio for the departure" for two violins and a piece that I heard for the first time this week and made a hughe impresssion by Alexander Aslamazov: Napyev (Melody) for clarinet solo. Thursdaynights program I don't know any of the pieces, and will be a nice oppertunity for me to get to know some new ones.
Highpoint of the week however will be the closing concert with Reinbert de Leeuw (a living legend in and from Holland, he has done so much for modern music!) where he is conducting Shostakovich Symphony nr.15 and Gubaidulina's "Stimmen ... verstummen" I will be in a plane already then on my way to Russia for concerts, by I hope somebody from violinist.com will update me on that concert. Everybody knows how amazing Shostkovich is, but for the ones of you that don't know Sofia Gubaidulina GO TO THE CONCERT. Her music is really something else (and oh by the way, she did arrange that Tango from Piazolla for the violin for Gidon Kremer)
I am looking forward to reviews of other violinist.com members!

There is a snowstorm on its way to New York, and I am excited about it (probably the only one in the city!) Central Park becomes a fairy tale in the snow and I am looking forward to going out sunday morning really early and walk through the park when everything is still white and not too many people have walked through the snow.
Yesterday I got asked for another chambermusic project this semester, and although my calender said no, my mouth said yes. I only knew that it was going to be a piano quintet. Now that I know it is going to be Brahms piano quintet with some of the best players in the school I am glad I did say yes, and I will work on the calender issue.

I am soooooo glad to be back at Juilliard!!!
PS: Tonight the Juilliard Orchestra is playing Brahms Deutsche Requiem and his Third Symphony at Carnegie. Bundel up and go to the concert, it is going to be awesome!

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January 18, 2005 08:28

So, my first lesson with Mr. Weilerstein. There is only one person in the world who can teach like Mr Weilerstein. Yesterday we spent the majority of time on relaxing the muscle by the armpit.
I was late for my lesson and after I ran up 4 stairs, I jumped into the room and played straight away Tchaikovksy's Valse Scherzo. I sounded as if I was still running up the stairs and I tried to "will" my way through the piece. It was not exactly the most relaxed performance I have given.
My shifts were kind of sticky, so Mr. Weilerstein came with some ideas:
Playing all kinds of fingerpatterned scales bent over, through which these particular muscles by the armpit would start getting flexible.
First we started out with doing long legato notes, with vibrato impulses, then we went on to all kind of one, two and three fingered scales on one string, we did some finger patterns, which you can find in Sevcik op.8 or Schradieck and eventually we ended up with shifting exercises as you can find in the artist technique of Dounish. But somehow the only thing I could think of was if I had used deodorant that morning, since I was "opening up" my armpits...

Since I have been back at school, I really noticed something. In general one can catagorize the musicians here: the ones that are convinced they are going to be the next Perlman's, Du Pre's or Kissin, and then the ones that are convinced they are not capable of playing an instrument at all. I have only seen very few musicians that have a healthy way of assessing their own talent.
What is this?
I guess the pressure at the Juilliard School is high. Students come from all over the world, and often they were in their hometown among the top 5 players. However entering an institution as Juilliard asks for a healthy and honest assesment of ones own talent. It seems however that this is a problem. Either we retreat into almost a musical feutal position, critizing everything we do, hating he way we sound, and reluctantly (but also very relieved deeply inside us) listen to collegues who tell us it is not all that bad.
The other option is to shoot to the other side and trying to talk away our insecurity: Look at how many concerts I have, how fast I can play this Paganini or sometimes even making things up, such as flying last minute to Berlin for a gig with the Philharmonic there.
However, both come from a deep sense of insecurity. My experience is that this reaction on the insecurity takes place, when we derive our sense of identity from our playing. The people I meet that are comfortable with there current state of affairs on the instrument, are not necesarry the ones that are the best players, they are the ones that know that even when their playing is not up to their own standards, it will not change anything on how people think of them. Ofcourse, I also have experienced that after I do well at a competition, I seem to have a lot more "friends", but I have learned that for my real friends it will not make any difference how and even if I play. My friends want me to play well, because they know how important music is to me, but for no other reason.
I still do beat myself up, when I don't play well, such as in my lesson yesterday. But only because I know I did not put enough time in it. And the "beating up" will not take all my energy (and that of the people around me :) because I know that the only way to change it, is through discipline.

Music is what we do, not who we are. Or maybe I should rephrase this: Music is who we are, but our worth is not dependant upon what other people think of it. When I play my violin, I give everything I have. It is the most honest account of who Carla is, I would not even know how to not be honest or be fake while playing. What I put into music when performing is who I am. Now, when I play out of tune, I can hate myself, which is very ineffective for many things (such as relations, practicing habits with danger of not practicing at all or over practicing etc) or I can decide to practice slow and more scales. But that doesn't mean, just because I gave it all, that I am not a good musician, and certainly doen't mean that I as a human being am worthless.
I wish they would set a practice limit at the Juilliard school: one needs to practice a minimum of 3 hours a day and a maximum of 5 hours. It would also definetly solve the practice room shortage, and would leave room for people to be social, make friends and figure out that we don't need the instrument as a reason for our being in this world.
PS: to be fair, this problem is ofcourse not limited to Juilliard, but since that is where I currently spend all my time, it is where my observations are made. Juilliard is a wonderful school, which lends itself for much artistic growth. Maybe as students we can help eachother also towards more growth as a humans, by offering sincere friendships etc.

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January 17, 2005 10:41

Si, here I am in. In New York, resuming my studies at the Juilliard School. In fact, in 15 minutes I have a studioclass with Donald Weilerstein. It has been a crazy week. My passport was gone, so I had to apply for a new Visa, I had to cancel my flight to New York and take one 2 days later. But after a lot of stress I arrived. Not that the stress was over, I had a meeting with the dean and several other people and had to start looking for a plce to life. I still have not found a plce, but I am staying at a friends place now, while he is playing concerts.

Musically I could not ask for more. I have a class in 20th century music and one about performance style of the baroque, and with my violin lessons of Mr. Perlman, I pretty much have covered the entire violin music history as it comes to performance practice. I do have to finish up to other classes: content and form and eartraining... HELP. After so many years of eartraining I am still not finished, and I doubt if I will ever make it through.
Besides that I started reading the book "Heart of the Artist" by Rory Noland and with that I feel I am covering about evey aspect of being a musician: performance practice, theory, and the spiritual side of being a musician.

But I miss Europe, and specifically my old and newly made friends in Switzerland. New York is a busy town, there are for my taste way too many people and I miss being able to just bike around without being considered suicidal (chances of being killed on a bike in Manhattan are pretty big)
But it has been snowing and I am very much looking forward to taking a stroll in Central Park, who knows, maybe I'll even go ice skating.

Rehearsals for the Carnegie Hall concert are about to start, I really need to get going on the Bartok Contrasts. And I am working hard for the upcoming concerts in Russi.a.
But right now I got to run to Mr. Weilerstein's studio...
Greetings from New York,
Carla

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January 9, 2005 01:52

Three more hours and I will be on my way to New York. However I am still in the dark as to if I am actually going back to school, some last minute problems, which I hope will be solved tomorrow...
I just had two most amazing weeks behind me, where God has once again showed me how faithful He is and I trust that this will continue, also in NYC. The last 2 weeks I spent in Swizterland. First I attended a conference called "Explo" where I immersed myself 5 days in studying and hearing about Christianity. And after that I stayed with some new friends, made at the conference, while preparing for a concert I played last friday with two of my best friends: Reto Reichenbach (piano) and Esme de Vries (cello). I find it hard to describe all that has happened in these 2 weeks, it will never do justice to the experience. But I am so glad that all of this happened, because I could not have asked for a better preparation to return to the States and in general for the coming semester, because I will be playing a lot of concerts and I finally have finished my application for the Queen Elisabeth Competition. Tchaikovksy won by the way, I decided that it would be safer to play Tchaik, since I have played it already so often with orchestra, whereas Shostakovich I have only done twice on a competition (although when I played it with Sinaisky, it was one of the most incredible experiences that I have had working with a conductor!)

I got to run, still have lots of stuff to pack. I am curious and excited to see what's in store for me in New York. Let's hope everything will work out the way it is supposed to work out.

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