Puns for violinists

February 15, 2012 at 12:56 AM · Well, there are the movie scores with too much gratuitous sax and violins.

February 15, 2012 at 01:20 AM · Someone in my Orchestra was really mad one day and she didn't know which way to turn using the pegs, as she received a new violin. So the conductor helped her and said "_____your high strung!" And infuriated her even more, I just sat back and tried to contain my laughter as she gave a whole speech about first time tuning with the peg * She was sharp*

Another time a Double Bass player was happy to buy a new set of strings and while 3 people ( Yes! It took that many) was stringing the bass ( One was turning the Peg and one was bowing) he said " HOw low can you go)

That same girl got upset the next rehearsal and said " I was used to tuning with the thingy next to the chinrest" And the teacher said " What kind of tuner is it." This is infuriated the girl, again I contain my laughter. She said " Small, Metal, A tuner, D Tuner, G Tuner ect." She gave up and snatched her violin back and went to her seat. So the teacher said " I guess I won't help you tune unless you get the word right" And she replied with "FINE!" I thought that was funny. Haha Finetuner. Classic, or should I say Classical?

At a workshop a girl named Mabel ( A different girl) asked what the back of her violin was made of, because it had a beautiful varnish on it. The guest conductor replied with "Maple" And she replied with "Yes, what is it made of?" and he replied ( Quite expressionless, which is funny because he was teaching us to express in music) "It's Maple" And the girl said " Yes that's me, have we met somewhere?" I guess she thought that he saw her somewhere else. The teacher gave up and ignored her. I hope by now she knows...

February 15, 2012 at 12:51 PM · Well, we may have lots of sound postings on this one.

It could string along for a while.

If there get to be too many posts, you will need to scroll the screen.

Of course, many people will gracefully bow out of the discussion.

Argh. These puns are so bad, that somebody may peg out. Just take it with a grain of saultille.

Where's Henny Youngman when you need him?

February 15, 2012 at 01:11 PM · What do you call a federal agent who is practicing violin scales?......(ready now?).....the Narc Ascending !!!!

(groan)

February 15, 2012 at 01:33 PM · Last night I was listening to a classical music call-in valentine request show. A dear old lady requested "The slow movement of the violin concerto in G minor by Brush"...

Now, if he had only written 'hair on a G string'....

February 15, 2012 at 02:04 PM · What do you call a violinist practicing finger independence exercises in the pool?.....

Dunkin' Dounis !!!

(Is that how you get your sound of Flesch?)

Then there was the time Fritz Kreisler made a Liebesfreudian slip.

And he also wrote Liebesalone and Liebesgetouttahere.

Jascha Heifetz never made a mistake. He thought he did once, but he was wrong.

Music is inspiring. You could get intoxicated playing Handel's Firewater Music.

(No doubt about it - this is not a mentally sound post.)

February 15, 2012 at 03:00 PM · If Tomaso Albinoni had opened a delicatessen, he could have sold Albinoni Baloney. And if his son was named Anthony and owned a toy horse, it would be called the Tony Albinoni phony baloney pony.

(This calls for me to cop a cup'a cappuccino.)

That's enough already; I've got to get back to real work.

February 15, 2012 at 03:12 PM · And you think these are punny?

Stop trying to string us along with these un sound posts.

These are all so bad I'm going out drinking one of Beethoven's Fifths. I'll meet a cute girl there, hope she isn't a Minor.

February 15, 2012 at 03:35 PM · Apun my word, I don't think I can take any more of this :)

February 15, 2012 at 06:25 PM · Ray-Knowing if your date is a Minor is Key you could get in a lot of Treble if you aren't careful!

-M

February 15, 2012 at 11:43 PM · Do typos count? I had an email from my son's teacher yesterday asking the kids to please prepare the Elgar "Slut d'Amour."

February 16, 2012 at 01:11 PM · I have always had the urge to ask in a restaurant what is the "joup du sewer."

(I know - you're all asking, "How did he get on the staff?")

February 17, 2012 at 01:02 AM · Just fiddling around.

Not necessarily a pun, but still kinda funny

Once, a violist dropped her bow during rehearsal. The conductor called her out for playing an unmarked down bow.

February 17, 2012 at 01:54 AM · Maurice, you say I could get in Treble, what do you Bass this on? :)

February 17, 2012 at 03:41 AM · Why are violinists more relaxed than guitarists? Because we don't fret!

February 17, 2012 at 07:30 AM · I can't fiddle out why all the talk of guitar and bass on this violinists pun thread.

February 17, 2012 at 08:51 AM · I detect a distinctly bad at-etude from some here.

February 17, 2012 at 09:17 AM · I disagree, the position they've chosen is fine, but they should get to the point quicker.

February 17, 2012 at 04:35 PM · Question: Why did you pick the guitar?

Answer: It's the only way to play it.

Question: Then what about the strum?

Answer: Naw, I never cared for tympani.

Student: Sorry; I couldn't find my book.

Music theory teacher: Is that what modulate?

February 18, 2012 at 06:59 PM · The best way to learn the Violin is 'From Scratch'!!

February 19, 2012 at 09:17 AM · This is more of a theory pun than a violinist pun, but here goes. A fellow first violinist from my school posted this on our Facebook group:

"Minor triad goes into a bar...the WHOLE story:

C, E-flat, and G go into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So E-flat leaves, and C and G have an open fifth between them. After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished, and G is out flat. F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. D comes in and heads for the bathroom, saying, "Excuse me; I'll just be a second." Then A comes in, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and says, "Get out! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." E-flat comes back the next night in a three-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender says, "You're looking sharp tonight. Come on in, this could be a major development." Sure enough, E-flat soon takes off his suit and everything else, and is au natural. Eventually C sobers up and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. C is brought to trial, found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of D.S. without Coda at an upscale correctional facility."

February 19, 2012 at 06:51 PM · Does Aaron Rosand smoke Cerutis?

February 19, 2012 at 08:57 PM · Does the name Joshua ring a bell?

February 19, 2012 at 11:45 PM · Can an epileptic violinist do Heifetz?

February 19, 2012 at 11:58 PM · Not really a pun, but fun :

A Guarnari is fine, Stradivari is better, but a Lavatori is best.