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January 26, 2008 at 4:56 PM

I checked back in my blog archive for the last time I took my daughter to Saturday music. It was in October. The title of that blog was, aptly, "Still Not Working." My daughter really didn't want to go back to the program again after a couple of traumatic experiences with crying and everything. Mindful of her sensitive nature and some of the insightful comments that people made on that blog entry--that I didn't want to traumatize her and turn her off music, I decided not to force the issue. I left it open, left it her choice.

Last night, somewhat out of the blue, she said she wanted to go back today, so we went. It has improved. Somewhat. In particular, the small group lesson is better--the most disruptive kid has moved on, up, or out, and the teacher, who is the regular teacher for this group, is a little older than high school age, warm and friendly, and seems to have appropriate classroom management skills.

Most of the other kids who struggled at the beginning seem to have weathered the struggle a bit better than my daughter. The two others that were crying like my daughter are still there and were there the whole time. They didn't take getting lost and all that personally and just got over it and stayed. A few other parents stay for the big group orchestra rehearsal, but not many, and none seem to stay for the small group lessons, except me.

I asked the teacher if it was okay if I stayed and she said sure. During the lesson it became apparent that I could be helpful with tasks like tuning or reattaching chin rests (one girl's chin rest fell off and went flying while she was swinging her violin inappropriately back and forth). A great deal of time is still spent on those things and the other kids get bored and antsy--but if the instruments aren't in tune, the kids notice that too and how dreadful it sounds with all those out of tune instruments. So I mentioned my desire to help to the teacher and she again said sure.

I also have to remember to bring a snack, maybe not just for my daughter, who gets hungry and gets low-blood-sugar cranky if she doesn't eat.

I feel more hopeful about this than I have so far this year. But I have definitely asked myself more than once if it is worth it. My daughter is probably not a violin genius. She's talking about wanting to learn a wind instrument next year and that might be a better fit. She likes the idea of playing several instruments, and I know some people do this (there is a violist in my orchestra who also plays bassoon, for example). I'm trying to follow her lead and hope not to get sucked in too much to the temptation to specialize and pre-professionalize too early.

From Tom Holzman
Posted on January 26, 2008 at 10:39 PM

Following her lead is a good idea. She won't lose anything by having a couple of instruments, and you can see what she is better at.

From Pauline Lerner
Posted on January 26, 2008 at 11:43 PM

Following her lead is a good idea, even if she tries a few different instruments. She will follow a lead that comes from inside herself. She'll follow the call of some instrument(s), and that's a good way to make a choice in this situation.

From Terez Mertes
Posted on January 27, 2008 at 5:00 PM

Great story (love the image of a chin rest flying off) and wise words about what the future might bring.

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