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Am I serious?

October 24, 2006 at 11:06 AM

Last night at choir rehearsal I talked to my closest viola-playing friend. I thought she was a born and bred violist, but it turns out she's like me: a trained violinist who switched as an adult because she liked the sound of the viola better. I was trying to explore the idea of getting a lesson or two from her, because she teaches children/beginners, but she didn't seem to feel comfortable.

I had a teacher 7 years ago, whom I liked a lot, and who was also a violinist-turned-violist, playing both instruments professionally. But I have to face it: I'm feeling intimidated to call her back now, after so much time has passed. I'm ashamed that I had such a big gap, and that in all that time I didn't play viola once, and played violin barely at all. I had two children during that time, bought a house, and made a pretty major job switch, so it's not like I've been sitting around twiddling my thumbs . . . but I have all this lingering guilt from childhood about not practicing enough, and this feels like the mother of all bad lessons. Not only did I not practice enough this past week, but I didn't practice at all for 7 years.

So, I was hoping my friend might help me ease back into lessons and then I could go back to her or another teacher with a bit more courage and evidence that I'm "serious." Nope.