The Last Thing to Go
For many years I've taken my violin students to play a little holiday concert at a nursing home. However, the pandemic threw off my tradition, for obvious reasons. During peak COVID, you certainly couldn't bring a group of kids into a nursing home. We did do it in 2021, with masks, tests, etc. but it was hard.
Last year I was so burnt out that I didn't do it at all. But that felt really wrong.
So this year I was determined to make it happen. The problem was, the place where we had always played had changed hands, and no one was returning my calls. I needed to start all over again and find a new home where we could play.
I called around and I did some research - but time was slipping away. At last - in late November, I found a place that felt right. When I spoke to the coordinator, she said, "Yes, they love music. Music is one of the last things to go."
That is one of the most striking things I've realized in giving these concerts, and it's one of the poignant realities about old age, dementia and memory loss: Alzheimer's patients may struggle to recognize family members, but they'll happily clap and sing along - with all the words - when you play "Jingle Bells" for them. Music gives them that gift.
Unfortunately, at this late time she could offer just one day when we could come and perform: Dec. 23! This is not an easy day to gather a group of kids, and I feared that no one would be able to do it at all. I thought, well if I can find at least one family to do this, I'll say yes and set it up, even if it winds up being just a few people. We'll start small.
So I asked my teaching colleague and mother of one of my students, Kelly Christ, and she said that not only could she do it, but her entire musical family would join in - her father Richard Meyer could play piano, her mom Rose Meyer would play violin, she would play, so would her son Richie - I felt so supported! A few of my students said yes, and a few of her students said yes. Then in the days leading up to the 23rd, one student dropped out, another got sick - but I had one Twinkler who could do it, and he learned "Jingle Bells" for the occasion. There was no time for a formal rehearsal. Could we possibly make this work?
Well, we did! There was Twinkle, Jingle Bells, an assortment of Christmas and Hanukah tunes, some Suzuki music. During "Feliz Navidad" half the room was singing and clapping. By the end, the kids sat down and sang while Kelly, Richard and I started taking requests - from both kids and residents. Richard had brought along a Christmas piano book, so Kelly and I read over his shoulder or played by ear. During "The Christmas Song," a woman teared up a little.
There is a time and a place for the formal concert, for playing challenging music, for working something to perfection, for showing off your terrific violin technique.
And then there is a time to take that competitive spirit down a notch and realize - it's not about you. Connecting someone to the deepest part of them - I can't think of anything more important. Sometimes you need to show up and draw on whatever musical resources you have at the moment.
I won't miss another year. I already have the concert scheduled for 2024!
You might also like:
- The Perfect Gift: Play for People!
- Happy Holidays Play List!
- Holiday Practicing: Keeping a Silent Night While Getting the Hours In
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Yes ! Connecting with people in the most basic of ways is so rewarding, fundamentally it's a big reason why we should be playing music. I play at the local nursing home quite a bit (weekly),and I've never felt as loved and appreciated by a group of people. 90 pct of the the people in the facilities may have some form of cognitive decline or Alzheimers, but I have also learned that most the the time they are mostly their true selves. I consider the patients friends and I've had the honor of playing at a few funerals.
It truly is the last thing to go. I've seen it happen too many times
People in my community orch used to go to BWI (Baltimore- Wash) airport on one day close to Christmas and play seasonal music for the folks going through the airport. It was a lot of fun for us and very much appreciated by the travelers. Unfortunately, that tradition ended a bit before covid, and no one in the orch has stepped forward to restart it. I always enjoyed it.
Merry Christmas everyone!
I love this.
When my mother was in assisted living, every year after Christmas we would put on an informal family concert for the residents. Children, in-laws, grandchildren and great-grandchildren were all included, and I acted as MC (as well as, obviously, playing the violin). We did Christmas music and other fun stuff; one year my sisters played a four-hand arrangement of The Typewriter while I turned pages and rang a bell when required.
My mother is gone now; grandchildren have grown up and even a great-grandchild is in college, getting together at all is difficult and concerts are not possible. But I miss those days.
Laurie, et al.,
Another great article Laurie. Good thoughts during the 2023 winter holiday season. Yes, Music is the last thing to go and getting live music into the care facilities is so valuable. Sadly, the musical community only seems to remember that in the dark days of winter.
I'm surprised that the teacher of music don't think about this community outreach all year long. A semi-regular gig that can make the residents as well as the young musicians happy.
Think about a New Year's resolution to make outreach visits to shut-in's a regular part of the year.
This warmed my heart on a truly cold Colorado day!
I had a student who was developmentally challenged in several ways. She loved playing the violin and always did her best. I took her to an adult daycare facility to play and they absolutely loved her! She felt like she was Perlman and I was so proud of her. Music is also very good for Parkinson’s patients. The tempo when listening to music helps them walk better. My husband has PD and walks using a metronome.
Happy holidays to everyone. This is a wonderful discussion. Thank you, Laurie (and to everyone for your comments).
Yes, music has a unique advantage when dealing with people who have almost any kind of memory problems. I'm not a physiologist, but as a psychologist I have concluded that all of us keep hearing perhaps hundreds of musical passages, no matter how brief (including words, if it's a song for example) in our minds as we go through a typical day.
We usually don't pay that much attention to it. But your brain mechanisms involved in music keep repeating it, and that is great for your mind in general and for your musical memory.
Inspiring! Happy Holidays, Laurie!
Last thing to go indeed. Glen Campbell was afflicted with Alzheimers towards the end of his life, but he still knew the songs. He went on a last tour with his son and daughter as members of his backup band. Sometimes after the applause Campbell would start to play the same song again. The backup band would just stand down, and Campbell would quickly realize his error and go on to another song. The audiences understood the situation, and very much appreciated their opportunity to see this great performer again.
My student group did our 7th December/holiday program at a local assisted living place (2020 was online, the staff logged into Zoom on tablets and passed them around to residents). It occurred to me this year that we could go more often if I train the students/parents to go without me. Instead of a big production that I run that we do in place of our regular rehearsal, smaller groups could go more frequently for a short program after class.
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December 24, 2023 at 10:33 PM · Happy Christmas Laurie, and the whole V.com community. A very beautiful article, with an important message.Here in Spain we eat Christmas dinner late on the 24th, so I am finishing the wine while a Mariah Carey festival has been organized in another part of the room. Cheers!