September 5, 2005 at 6:21 AM

This weekend was my first lesson with Mr. Preucil. I feel that he'll be a great help to me at this point in my development, because he's such an all-encompassing big-picture person. He put into words the vague feelings of dissatisfaction I had about my tempo fluctuations, and showed me how I'm not yet conceiving of the 20 minute movement and indeed the entire Brahms concerto as a large-scale structure, which is vital in such an overarching and essentially symphonic work. Even in very simple gestures, like connecting the first note to the second, I saw right away from his enthusiastic and active demonstrations what I was missing. I really enjoy being able to hear him play in the lesson! It instantly conveys so much of the character and gives me a good instinct for how to adapt my own playing. One special technique Mr. Preucil employs is of course amazing slides. I wouldn't be able to pull them off in the places and with the crazy fingerings he uses, but it's so much fun to be watching and listening along and suddenly be almost jolted with surprise at a particular slide or nuance that really created an effect.

Mostly what this first lesson has shown me is that I do all right creating those artistic effects of my own, but they get really laboriously, hopelessly bogged down not only in tempo but in the sheer amount of details I'm trying to nail. In some ways I feel like I'm being stretched in many directions: I had just decided to be as strict as possible with myself about technique and sound and intonation, and then I walk into a lesson and play fairly solidly, and have my eyes opened to a new level--sort of the old forest v. trees perspective. I need to reconcile approaching that high artistic level from both sides--by perfecting the little details of rubato, and also by keeping that strong internal clock and knowing exactly what there is room for and what there isn't; by knowing how to flow and knowing what remains constant to flow around. In my lesson Mr. Preucil had me conduct/snap a steady 3/4 beat while he demonstrated, and the freedom in his playing was pretty remarkable--yet it was all in time. A simple concept, I suppose--do the rubato but land on the important beats--but hard to master. I also have the problem of making the small notes so important that they become beaty, and then there is hardly even any room for rubato because every beat becomes important. I got this also from playing in a masterclass for Mauricio Fuks this past April, that I love every note but sometimes nearly suffocate them because I forget about letting go and letting it be as easy and natural as it should be. So anyway, I suppose all this shows me that I still have a long way to go before feeling comfortable living, breathing, and playing in both the practical and the spiritual realms of music at the same time. I hope all these realizations will help me slowly get there, though.

The most helpful specific thing we talked about were the chords. I have been playing them in a very circular motion and getting more crunch than I liked. He demonstrated just a tiny pinch at the frog, then tremendous bow speed and nearly a full bow (somewhat like in orchestral playing), and a flat retake almost touching the strings. I tried and couldn't get entirely comfortable with it immediately, but I saw right away how to achieve much more sound, ring, and beauty in those chords, so that was empowering. I feel like it's something I should have experimented with and figured out for myself, but then, I suppose this is why I need a teacher and still have much to learn.

Another thing that I hope will be helpful to me is Mr. Preucil's demeanor--he's just simply very kind and involved, and it's almost surreal to push myself hard and then go to a lesson where I feel that the atmosphere is more friendly than I have been to myself in the practice room all week. The very details that I grimace at, like double-stops I haven't yet tuned, he totally overlooks in favor of broader ideas. The fact that my intonation was not mentioned once makes me feel even more responsible to get the housekeeping fixed and out of the way. So, in a few days after I have things generally more under control, I hope to tape record again and find some kind of improvement in both arenas, and I know I don't have to hope for new things to work on, because they'll be there.

September 5, 2005 at 6:21 AM

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