August 30, 2005 at 7:07 PM

Aside from the rainy weather here in Cleveland, everything seems to be going relatively well. My practicing is solid and I'm hoping to bump up my time to four or five hours a day when I get settled. I know that'll take some planning. This morning I had my orchestra audition, which probably wasn't a huge deal as the seating is thankfully rotating, but I still took it seriously and was reasonably satisfied with how my Brahms went (not even two pages). The lyrical parts actually went very smoothly and calmly and I felt I had achieved something there or created a few special moments; however, those kind of moments should ideally be so frequent that the whole performance is ear-opening. Right from the very first note with an audience I was not comfortable; even though I had worked on relaxing, the sound was still too harsh under my ear (and when I've recorded myself as well), and I have trouble maintaining a sense of majesty rather than sheer aggression. There's still much to be done with that opening.

At any rate, my first lesson with Mr. Preucil is Saturday, so I'm moving on to the development and recap and coda, and I had nearly forgotten until a few days ago about the Joachim cadenza. Cadenzas in general tend to expose technical flaws more severely than the rest of the piece (not only to the audience, but to the orchestra as well, who have nothing to do but sit there and watch), and as such I think I have avoided ever preparing any cadenza, save the Sibelius which is so integrated into the movement, to the best of my ability. My intonation is generally the weakest during a cadenza, so I will have to make it appear as if there's no room for weakness.

Perhaps the most uplifting thing in the midst of all the work I have ahead of me is that I know am already thinking, playing, and delving into this piece far more deeply than I could have three years ago. The many things I hear when recording myself would have never bothered me before, but now I see that it is just these small but crucial points that hold me back from the next level.

School-wise: the vibe of the Case campus seems similar to Northwestern in some ways, but mostly I am either at home or at CIM. The little rectangular building reminds me of my high school, and being now at a conservatory rather than a university music school makes things feel a little bit like summer music camp, except during the school year. This is by and large great, since there's nothing quite like that atmosphere of motivation and good-natured learning I felt at places like Meadowmount and ENCORE. I'm sure after some time I'll lose the rose-colored glasses and it will just feel like regular school, but at least for now I feel I have more control and direction than I have ever had thus far in my life.

On a side note--one thing I did like much better at Northwestern was the scheduling. The administration are great, hard-working, enthusiastic people here; however, I wish I could just click away online to drop and add classes rather than waiting in line in a crowded trailer for half an hour. Granted, Northwestern's online course registration system, CAESAR, did break down a couple times (prompting the running joke, "Et tu, Brute?"), so I guess no school's scheduling system is perfect. The most disappointing thing I discovered was that I'm not able to continue with German this year, because I have a required class called "World Rhythms" with Paul Simon's drummer. I love Paul Simon and I'm sure I'll love his drummer by extension, but I'm sad not to be taking German in the classroom, and have since bought myself some fun "Learn in Your Car" CDs to keep reviewing until my next opportunity to take the class--or go abroad!

August 30, 2005 at 7:07 PM

Subscribe

Laurie's Books