June 19, 2005 at 8:06 PM

Backtracking a bit:

Our seminar on orchestral life with Steve Dann was really informative. He was totally straightforward about some of the uglier aspects of the business--the struggle of orchestras versus management, how rigorous the audition process has become (to the point where orchestras sometimes don't accept anyone), and how important it is to maintain one's integrity despite the ups and downs of orchestral politics. He also had numerous fond memories of being part of great performances, and there is no denying that the repertoire is amazing. I consider myself lucky to enjoy orchestral playing so much, unlike many of my peers, and I attribute my enthusiasm mostly to my time in the Civic Orchestra of Chicago. Too many college orchestras breed a kind of apathy towards orchestral playing and encourage people to simply go through the motions to get their credit to be able to graduate, whereas in Civic there was a palpable sense of devotion and commitment to working toward a common goal. As Mr. Dann said, some people are unhappy at the loss of their individual identity when they join a large string section. To me, this is a small factor as long as the orchestra has its own positive sense of identity and one can focus one's energy into contributing to that much larger ideal. The Cleveland Orchestra very much has its own identity and sound and I'm looking forward to attending concerts this coming season.

The session with Marsha Winokour, a musician and psychologist, was interesting. It was basically a very free group discussion about anything that was on our minds, and it turned out that we spent most of the time discussing stress, performance anxiety, nerves, competitions, and mostly finding a center or a way to keep coming back to hope and inspiration. Ms. Winokour was very kind and funny and helped aid the conversation along, though she never gave absolute "answers" and emphasized that everyone has their own way of dealing with stress.

I have another lesson tomorrow and just spent an hour on the first two pages of Beethoven. I am also still trying to learn the notes to Shostakovich on my own, for variety's sake. I am enjoying working through the very slow practicing, Zukerman method, although it still boggles the mind how many things need concentration all at the same time.

June 19, 2005 at 8:06 PM

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