June 14, 2005 at 3:14 PM

Just returned from a lesson with Grigory (check out his website at www.grigorykalinovsky.com). I wanted to update right away as it's really gotten my mind spinning in a good way.

As I remember from last year, he was extremely helpful in explaining things in detail, and he's a very kind and gifted teacher. He has a knack for saying things that make sense and click right away--for example, when my playing was getting too "notey" with too much portato, he reminded me that "the left hand talks, but the right hand sings." Both his and Zukerman's bow arms look very supple when they play, almost "like a snake" as Grigory put it. They have developed a sixth sense for which nuance or curl or adjustment of the finger/wrist/arm happens when, and somehow it all seemingly magically comes together to create a very natural, fluid bow arm that can produce a gorgeous sound at every moment.

Another helpful thing Grigory repeated that I recall from last year is that whenever I want to go up with the music emotionally, I should actually go down physically, feeling even more gravity and building the phrase by staying grounded with my feet, posture, bow arm, etc. That concept makes a lot of sense intellectually but is quite counterintuitive for me at this point. Even when I was trying my best not to move today and yesterday, I still have some unconscious tics that they would point out like raising the eyebrows and especially tensing the right shoulder. Also, shortly before I came here I watched the video of my recital, and even I was distracted by my own movements. My friends' opposing train of thought is that if the sound coming out is still beautiful and even, then you should be allowed to move however you like. However, I know that my sound could quite probably become more beautiful if I calmed things down and quieted myself. So what I have started today trying to consciously figure out is how to reconcile my style of playing and the artistic heights I want to achieve with playing technically as "correctly" as possible. Certainly I can't change my entire way of playing in three weeks, but perhaps I can reflect and make some improvements. For me this seems to put technique and music very much at odds with each other, which is frustrating to say the least. I have a feeling it is an issue I'll struggle with for years to come, so maybe I should take some solace in the fact that not everything is going to be solved today, at this camp, or perhaps ever completely. At least in a way my practicing now becomes easier--I can set all these philosophical worries aside, turn on the metronome and my objective side, and work on Beethoven's "etude."

June 14, 2005 at 3:14 PM

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