May 10, 2005 at 11:20 PM

My mood is sadly dependent on how my playing and practicing goes--but that's okay for now, because today is a good day! I felt somewhat discouraged last night when my second rehearsal with orchestra did not go as well as the first for me personally, but I know that's because of inconsistency in practicing and because I was working on other things during those two weeks in between. So I was pleasantly surprised went my lesson with piano today went very well. Afterwards, I left a message for Andrew about a few more things perhaps we can work on or be careful about with the orchestra, and then I practiced the cadenza, the weakest spot so far. I also need to do the third movement tonight; it is basically okay but ideally everything should feel very flowing and fluid, in one continuous motion, without tension. I feel not quite enough at ease with it yet to make the most of the scherzando character.

I then ran the Beethoven first and second movements. The first I had not really worked on since the Fuks masterclass last month, and it was actually quite refreshing to not be so worried the whole time--ironically, because I hadn't been working on it, I was able to just simply play, and many things went very well. Even the first two bars in octaves, for example, which everyone is always hyperparanoid about playing in tune, were fine, as I was thinking only about the phrase, and not the precise placement of my fingers.

About to have dinner with some friends!