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August 26, 2005 at 1:32 AM

“It’s different where I come from,” the Finnish exchange student replied when I asked her about her previous instruction at the piano and her future goals. She reiterated this several times throughout our conversation. All she really needed to do was play a phrase, and I understood completely.

I obviously agreed to take on something before I really knew what I was getting into. She played her Debussy, Bach, and Rachmaninoff all from memory, with accuracy and a broad spectrum of musicality. I was moved. I, the teacher, was being swept off my feet. I’m feeling weak and soft in my knees now, even in remembering it, feeling foolish for even listening, regretting presumptuous words that might need recanting. She might just be beyond me.

My responsible, rational side tells me not to interfere. It would be a crime to mismanage her, to get my fingers on something with this much potential. What if I was sewing seeds of future regret in her life? I should know what my personal limitations as a teacher are and stick with them; that’s what I should do.

But I’m compelled to keep her for my own enjoyment, for my own selfish need for musical inspiration. I can’t pass her up! There’s obviously no one else for her right now. At least, if nothing else, we could draw from each other’s enthusiasm, perhaps I might encourage her with our similar passion. It’s better than nothing, isn’t it? Is this a valid reason for taking her in? What am I doing? What business have I? She could very well call my bluff, and then I would shrink away in embarrassment for pretending to be someone that I am, in fact, not.

Would you look outside? It’s really coming down now.

She sounds like a pain. I'd send her back to Finland on the first dog sled.