January 13, 2005 at 8:41 AM

The only thing more stressful than a 4,500 mile road trip through Canada in the winter...

...is returning to a studio of pure chaos. This week has been one that tries the soul of the violin instructor. I have just spent the entirety of last week driving through several blizzards, ice storms, and animal-infested mountain passes to make it back to my home town in time to begin this semester's lessons. In those six days on the road through Canada, I had plenty of time to think about life in general and the possibility of not having one anymore, as we avoided many near-death experiences, including one involving a herd of puppies and ice--but I won't go into that story. My Honda started making a mysterious groaning sound back in Illinois, which progressed into a shimmy somewhere in the Yukon, but somehow it still managed to roll over 200,000 as we made the last 150-mile haul to Soldotna. I arrived home a changed person, thankful for a bed and heat and food and good friends. Then, I began the phonecalls to round up my students for the week's lessons.

"Can we change all five of my children's lessons to Thursday?"

"We won't be making this week, we're driving to Anchorage."

"My daughter has finals this week, so we won't be coming."

"My mom gets off work an hour later now, so we can't make the 5:00."

"My son isn't inspired to practice anymore. We're quitting."

"We had to move, and he's been so sick, and his grandmother forgot to explain that he broke his thumb, you know, and we're going to cancel while we wait for another miraculous healing."

I lost four students this week. My housesitter didn't sit after all, and left the door open and the lights on. Yes, in Alaska, in December, she left the front door open. And then the piano tuner forgot to tell me that he raised his price from $80 to $125 until I saw it on the bill. This is no exaggeration of the week I've had, not to mention that absolutely no one practiced while I was away. I felt completely steam-rolled. I have written policies explaining that cancellations are not excusable, nor refundable in any of the previously mentioned situations. Can they not understand that I came through with the reliablility of a postal service worker, that neither rain nor snow, nor sleet nor puppies on ice could stop me from being there for them? Pitiful excuses, all of them. I have been frustrated and angry with the flakiness of people in general. How hard is it to keep a commitment?

I've learned a thing or two from this. After being taken aback by the first weekly cancellation and kicking myself for not charging her for it and letting myself be walked on like that, I braced myself. When the third similar phonecall came, I used this valuable phrase that I had memorized and repeated several times in advance: "I'm sorry you can't make it, I'd hate to see you pay and get nothing for it, but if this is what's best for you, then I understand." It was silent and awkward for a moment, and then we closed our conversation. I hung up knowing I'd made my point. It felt tacky and pushy and wonderfully unbudging. Sure enough, I was rewarded the following day when the mother left a message saying that they would be able to make the lesson after all.

Note to self: stand firm more often.

P.S. Write a formal termination policy that sticks it to last-minute quitters.

From parmeeta bhogal
Posted on January 13, 2005 at 11:03 AM

Glad you are surviving all this; reading yours and Sue's blog this week just underlines how difficult private teaching can be; I also understand better the huge headline in the payment info we get from our music school: payments will have to be made for the entire year, regardless of whether the child stops attending.
Anyway, hope you both get some bright, happy student who makes up for all this!!

From Inge S
Posted on January 13, 2005 at 3:21 PM

Ditto to what Parmeeta wrote. But pray tell, what about the puppies on ice?

From Pauline Lerner
Posted on January 14, 2005 at 2:04 AM

My sympathy. You have had a rough week.

I like what you said to the person who called to cancel. I will memorize it so I can use it. Thank you.

I hope your week improves. I hope you have students who make progress and I hope that you can play your violin and enjoy it, too.

From june rhee
Posted on January 14, 2005 at 4:51 AM

i think we have parallel studios, emily. either that or our students have parallel lives. i sympathize deeply.
what a rotten housesitter. i hope you gave him/her the riot act.

From Albert Wong
Posted on January 14, 2005 at 7:01 AM

I've had experiences parallel yours. People usually don't tell you the real reasons for their cancellations. I would think for their excuses and deal with them cautiously. I'm doing it better now as I only accept good students.

Good students definition : arrive on time, pay on time and play on time

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January 13, 2005 at 8:41 AM

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