January 17, 2004 at 1:50 AM

Well, right now I am thinking about music possiblities. Am I made for this?? The stress and the CRAP that all goes along with it?? I dunno. Certain techers have made me want to quit!! Am I just weak?? Can I not withstand the pressure of violiniing?? I dont know if this is what I wan t to do anymore. I mean, I started soo late. I have an awfukl time memorizing anyhting and I just dont know if I want to drag those that I love into something of this magnitude. I know that my boyfriend has to hate all the times that I complain about back problems or bad audtions. I hate doing this to him. He doesn't really even enjoy the whole classical music thing, but for some reason I still care soo much about him. And then all of those people reading this are going: Why does she care what her boyfriend thinks?? Well, my parents (specifically my father) seems to want it more than I do, which is sad. If over the summer I dont practice at lesast 5 hours I have committed some big bad sin and I dunno. My boyfriend is one of the only people who has ever just said do it because you want to. Evan has always backed me up and for that I thank and love him. Violin is sooo hard to get to practice now. Exams and extra classes have consumed my life. I dont even want to go to a conservatory anymore, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?????