The concerts went well. In Vologda I won the battle with my fear for memory slips, and since a long time, I did not have any. And in St. Petersburg I was able to keep up this line and play one of my better concerts. I really was able to put into praxis what Mr. Perlman had been talking about in my last lesson. I focused on sound, intonation and vibrato and with that I had no time to be nervous, although before the concert my nerves were up high. But they were taken away in a very beautiful manner.
I had send some people in Russia (friends of friends) an email about me playing and inviting them. Among them some members of Crescendo, a swiss based christian ministry for artists. Some members of Crescendo St. Petersburg showed up right before I had to play and somehow I felt so comfortable, like, as if I would be playing in my bedroom, not in a sold out hall. However, my concentration was much higher and focused then normally, as it always does in a concert and combined with feeling excited, but also at ease, it provided a beautiful oppertunity for the music to come out. I am purposely not writing for the music to happen, because it did not just happen. I felt very aware of the things my ears registered and instead of judging it, it went straight into my fingers, as to: calm down the vibrato, intonation can be higher/ lower, watch your tonequality, do you still have core... etc.etc. Something which Mr. Perlman really has been talking about a lot with me.
Yes, a nice experience. I hope to be able to stay on this path. I definetly feel not only my playing, but everything is in an upwards motion and I would like to keep this control I seem to have while playing, but also in other areas of my life. Even though geographically my life is chaotic (will be crossing the ocean on average every 2 weeks) I feel that I am pretty on top of things on the inside, and since that does not happen so often I will make this wave be as long as it can be.
Got to get some sleep.
Carla
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