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February 6, 2005 at 10:05 PM

I just spend some wonderful days in Russia, where I played 2 concerts. The first one was in Vologda, where I played some virtuoso repertoire with the orchestra of the Vologda Philhamonic. The second one was in St. Petersburg, with pianist Ksenia Bashmet in the Glazunov Hall, a beautiful hall in the conservatory.
Russia in the winter is amazing. The snow was fresh and during the train ride to Vologda, the moon lit up the snow on the ground and on the trees. In St. Petersburg I had the chance to go up the St. Isaac Dome and had a view of the city with all its snow covered roofs. It truly was a fairy tale.

The concerts went well. In Vologda I won the battle with my fear for memory slips, and since a long time, I did not have any. And in St. Petersburg I was able to keep up this line and play one of my better concerts. I really was able to put into praxis what Mr. Perlman had been talking about in my last lesson. I focused on sound, intonation and vibrato and with that I had no time to be nervous, although before the concert my nerves were up high. But they were taken away in a very beautiful manner.
I had send some people in Russia (friends of friends) an email about me playing and inviting them. Among them some members of Crescendo, a swiss based christian ministry for artists. Some members of Crescendo St. Petersburg showed up right before I had to play and somehow I felt so comfortable, like, as if I would be playing in my bedroom, not in a sold out hall. However, my concentration was much higher and focused then normally, as it always does in a concert and combined with feeling excited, but also at ease, it provided a beautiful oppertunity for the music to come out. I am purposely not writing for the music to happen, because it did not just happen. I felt very aware of the things my ears registered and instead of judging it, it went straight into my fingers, as to: calm down the vibrato, intonation can be higher/ lower, watch your tonequality, do you still have core... etc.etc. Something which Mr. Perlman really has been talking about a lot with me.

Yes, a nice experience. I hope to be able to stay on this path. I definetly feel not only my playing, but everything is in an upwards motion and I would like to keep this control I seem to have while playing, but also in other areas of my life. Even though geographically my life is chaotic (will be crossing the ocean on average every 2 weeks) I feel that I am pretty on top of things on the inside, and since that does not happen so often I will make this wave be as long as it can be.

Got to get some sleep.
Carla