December 11, 2004 at 9:41 PM

The story of Anna and I

I just read Jessica's blog and her inspiring story about her violin, which made me decide to write a little bit about mine.

About almost 10 years ago, I met a swiss cardiologist, Kaspar. I was invited to play some concerts in Switzerland and they had also organized a house concert with this man, in the vicinity of Basel. Barely 16 years old I went with my mom and a pianist from the Netherlands, and we went for a fun time around Swizterland. We stayed several days with Kaspar and his family, they were very open and sweet and we kept in touch. Several months later I was invited to another houseconcert at his place, this time the first prize winner of the Tchaikovsky competition Raphael Oleg was playing.
Up until that time I had been playing a Vuillaume owned by the Royal Conservatory in The Hague, but I knew I had to start looking for another "friend", since I was not intending to stay much longer at the conservatory.
In the days I spend at the families house, Kaspar showed me several violins he owns. One really caught my attention: a violin his parents had bought for his sister. Kaspar was raised in a musical family: his sister and brother are both professional musicians, and although Kaspar chose to become a doctor, he is a very good amateur pianist, practicing diligently at home at his grand or the upright piano at his praxis.
Anyways, he showed me the instrument and I fel in love with it. It has quite an unusual form after the "a-longer" periode of Stradivarius. Kaspar told me I could try out the instrument for a while and I left at the beginning of the summer with it.
It was the beginning of a long hate - love relationship. I loved the sound I could make, it was a quite unusual sound with a green shade as basic sound. Most violins have either a dark red (bourgondy) sound and more and more violinmakers try to brighten it. However this violin was not made for brightening. And although I loved the sound, that summer I was playing the Schubert Quintet in C and there is a woolfe on the B, a nightmare for the slow movement. On top of it, the violin had not been played for, I think almost 30 years, and needed adjustment. Although everybody told me not to stick with the instrument (or as one person said: don't get married to it) I decided to hang in and see what would happen. I turned in the Vuillaume and there was no way back.
There was not a single day, the violin was not improving. She was in desperate need of care and attention, somebody who would gently wake her up. I am not the person to do anything gently. My character is passionate and temperamental, something which helps me project music, but was not fit for this violin. So when the chance came to play a Gagliano from the Dutch Music Instrument Foundation I grabbed it. As beautiful as the Gagliano was, we were not made for eachother and after I was having financial trouble, paying the insurance, I figured it was a sign that we were not supposed to be together.
Some of you might wonder, I talk about instruments as if they would be humans. To me, they almost are. For one, violins do live. Wood reacts on humidity, temperature etc. and so my violin can be very moody at times, depending on the weather. We humans might have winter depressions, violins have them too!
Also, for me, the violin is an extension of my vocal cords. It is a way to say things, express emotions, feelings, thoughts, that can not be put in words: sometimes because words don't exist, but also often because I am afraid to speak things out loud. With a violin I can say anything, express my deepest sorrow or worship in ultimate joy.

So, I went back to Switzerland, to pick up "Anna". Yes, my violin has a name, something which I have never confessed publicly. And from there on Anna and I went on quite a journey. She thaught me to be patient. She was not going to reveal all her secrets to me in a couple weeks. Soon after I made a second start with her, I switched teachers. I went to Switzerland and worked with Stefan Muhmenthaler. With him I learned to listen to the violin and make the tone she wants to produce, rather then force my projection upon her. Many hours of open strings later, Anna started opening up. A ring came to the sound, overtones that were so incredibly rich. It was not her that needed tuning up, it was definetly me. After endless lessons open strings, intonation and bowing exercises she started flourishing (as did I) and more and more people started hearing what a gorcious instrument she is.
However, one day I decided to put Anna in her case and leave for the United States to teach 3rd grade and live with a family with 5 children. Kaspar, the owner, was so good to let me take her with me, even though I did not believe I would actually play. So Anna came along and was stored under the bed.
Untill I somehow got involved in a Christian Rockband. Anna back out of its case, playing along with electric guitar, drums, awesome keyboard, and at times great brass. Although it was a culture shock, I think we both enjoyed the freedom that came with it. I improvised whatever came to me and somehow it was always in line with what sounded best on Anna. After a while Tchaikovsky started luring me and after I came in contact with the concertmaster of the Seattle Symphony I became serious again about playing violin and doing so with Anna.
Until one day I woke up and I was in a fantasyland for violinsit. Mr. Machold came to visit Seattle and needed somebody to play several instruments of Antonio Stradivari on a radioshow. I was the lucky one to walk right into a studio, get 15 minutes with the instruments and go live on the air with Bach, Kreisler and that on the Toni brothers. And how beautiful the Toni brothers sounded. Mr. Machold left one of them with the concertmaster and his wife, who by now were also my violin teachers and landlords. I was sleeping in their basement, where also their studio was and one of the Toni brothers was stored. The idea was to raise money to buy this particular Toni brother and therefor a houseconcert was organised for people wi lot of money and I was the lucky one to play. So I had several weeks now to spend hours a day with this particular Toni brother. The concert came and especially the Ysaye sounded amazing on this instrument. But nobody bought the violin, so Toni went back to its other brothers.

Going back to Anna was as if I had commited adultary. But I also realized something very important. Sometimes all we want is to be with a moviestar or a model. Who does not want to spend the evening with Brad Pitt or Ben Affleck? But then, after a supervisual high, you come back, realizing how good life is at home, with a partner who might not be perfect, but gives you all the warmth and depth you need, and who knows you and you know them intemately.
So back to Anna. Although she did not mind, me having gone abroad, I once again started putting on my demants on her. I wanted her to be like Toni, disregarding her strenght, warmth and depth. But after several weeks our relationship grew strong again.
By now, her beauty was shining and almost everywhere I went people commented on her depth. We were getting quite strong together. I stopped searching for my perfect sound, instead looking for Anna's perfect sound.
Until another temptation came along. After winning the Concerto Competition at Juilliard I was offered to play the concert on a gorcious Guadagnini. The Mozart D Major needed something brighter than Anna could offer, and I gave her some much needed rest, going for a spa treatment with a well known violinmaker in New York. After the concert it was this violin maker that made me aware of all the things that had been playing all these years. After the concert, I braught in the Guadagnini and he gave me back Anna. I played both for him and tried to explain that I would like to have a little bit more brightness in Anna's sound. Than he told me, that yes, the Guadagnini sounded beautiful, and I sounded like many other good violinists. However on Anna I was different, the sound did indeed not have that brightness, but it was unlike anything else, playing on it I had colors unlike any other violinist.
It was as if I got conscious of the inner fight that had been going on in me and at that point I realized, that there was no boss and servant in this relationship. Without Anna I could not express much of who I am, without me playing her, Anna would be silent.

Now, almost everywhere I play, one of the first questions is what instrument I play. My standard answer: an old Italian. There are many stories about where Anna came from, as diverse as coming out of the hands of Antonio Stradivari or Guadagnini, to it formerly being a viola, that has been downsized. Her creation remains a mistery and I decided that I like it that way. We humans often look too much at labels, and too little at the actual product. Not all Stradivari sound great and not all great violins are Stradivari.

Why "Anna"? Several reasons which I can not all tell here. But a couple:
"Channah" is the Hebrew equivalent of "Anna" and means "Grace"
This is was is said about Anna in the Bible: "Anna committed her life to worshipping God. Age was no deterrent to her worship in the Temple and willingness to allow the Holy Spirit to work through her life." ( http://www.mustardseed.net/html/peanna.html )
The funny thing is, I did not find these things out until recently, but they are a perfect description of what Anna means in my life and the person this violin is named after.

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December 11, 2004 at 9:41 PM

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