November 18, 2004 at 12:00 AM

This afternoon we will have orchestra rehearsals. I will play second (before me is a Chinese guy playing Sibelius and after me again Sibelius with a very talented Korean girl. Her room is next to mine and her Paganini 17 was something to be very jealous of!) and then last ist Erin with Brahms concerto. I am really looking forward to it. But first we have an interview this morning. I am in the mood for some very good scale practicing today and I wish I would have brought Kreutzer. I think I need to do some cleaning, because I have been so stressed the last week. But I will probably just play some Bach, which is always very cleansing and maybe some Mozart too.
I am very excited about everything.
It is weird how one can go through such a range of emotions within a week, caused by something like a competition. I don't play better or worse (well, maybe a little bit better, because I worked really hard the last weeks) and I am sure I am not a better or worse person and still I feel so much better. When I came here the whole competition mood was awful. By now I have made several new friends and I am feeling so much better. I guess lots of my judging my own performance must have been also based upon feelings and not so much on reality, because it cannot be that I found my playing to be really bad and an entire jury decided that both times I got to go to another round.
I remember I had the same at the Tibor Varga and Mr. Updegraff yelled at me, because I told him my Tchaikovksy had been really bad, but somehow I got first prize.
I guess I need to learn to be somehow more objective.
I am looking forward to the rehearsal, it is such a treat to play Tchaikovksy, I really love that piece, as much cliche as it might sound. I hope they will record it, I would love to have a tape of one of my performances (didn't get one from Russia).
Well, greetings from Korea. Talk to you all soon!
Carla

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November 18, 2004 at 12:00 AM

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