October 13, 2004 at 9:44 PM

Ok, I am going to make a covenant with the people that actually read what I write... So, I have a competition in less than a month, I still have to start learning halve of the pieces and start dusting the other ones.
I have been so worried about what will happen if I do not return to Juilliard, how I am going to make a living and the fact that I desperately want to go to the Queen Elisabeth competition (since I was about 7 years old) and need time to prepare. So I have been torturing myself with looking at orchestral auditions and then deciding that it was not what I really wanted or that I was not good enough for it, but in the mean while I lost again days on looking through excerpts, and even more time just on the internet.
So my vow is to actually practice from tomorrow on 6 HOURS A DAY as a minimum. Please keep me accountable for my behavior, if you see too many posts of mine, I am most likely not practising and that is what I want to keep from happening.
Oh, and the other thing is... I want to loose 4 kilos (about 9 pounds) before I go to Korea and work out every day...
And I need to stop worrying about money (if I do well in Korea that problem is solved, and otherwise something will happen too, it always does...)
Yes, I have gone crazy, but since I have not been in school my discipline has completely left me and utter chaos when it comes to violin has entered my life. But I am changing that right now... So PLEASE KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE... :)

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October 13, 2004 at 9:44 PM

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