Picking up the Pieces: Relearning the Violin after a Major Injury

May 24, 2024, 6:24 PM · "I’d like you to be able to play the violin again, but there’s a risk you might lose function of your right arm."

These are dread-inducing words, and as I heard them last August, I put on a brave face for my orthopedic surgeon. I was in the emergency room with a shattered right shoulder, and harbored a fractured radius in my left arm that was missed due to the grievous nature of my right-arm break. My humerus was fractured into four large pieces with several smaller bits floating around. The shoulder was dislocated, and I was facing an emergency surgery to be put back together.

The accident doesn’t come with a cool story. I tripped, and fell hard on a concrete stage. No car wreck, no fall off of a ladder. I just tripped. Being tall, and walking too fast while never looking down (a habit I have since trained out of my system), I hit the ground with a bone-crunching sound. I knew instantly I was not okay. I knew one arm was broken badly. I couldn’t see my shoulder but I heard my bones break, and experienced a level of pain I will never forget.

I don’t remember passing out, but my friends confirm that I did at some point. I was stubborn, and said I didn’t need an ambulance. Luckily a police officer on the scene had already called one. I remember telling my wife "I don’t think I’m going to make my audition on Tuesday." Looking back, I am amazed that the thought had occurred to me; it was the least of my problems.

With a humerus head break, the real risk is avascular necrosis, which means your bone will slow wear itself down until you need a metal joint. In my day job I’m a scientist, and I spent time in the ER reading articles about avascular necrosis and how the probability scales with the number of fragments in a humerus fracture. The probability of losing my shoulder function was over 80%. My doctors told me to relax, telling me that I’m young and in good shape. I can attest that at the time, I felt like neither of those things.

One steel plate and 13 steel screws later, I was whole again. The surgery resulted in a six-week immobilization of my right arm, with an induced rotator cuff cut to open up the joint to work on reassembling my humerus. My left arm was also broken, but it was a minor fracture.

I was luckily able to work on a modified schedule and my family helped me tremendously with car rides and support. The first x-rays looked promising, the bone was healthy.

Six weeks later my sling came off and I could use my right arm. Mobility was also zero, I could hardly move it and in my head it felt like my arm would fall off like a well-worn action figure. Writing and typing were luxuries I had missed, and my violin, neglected for two months, was waiting for me. I began physical therapy and had a wonderful care team to retrain my right arm. They wanted me to play my violin daily at home, they said it would be the best physical therapy.

It was not the best emotional therapy. The first note I drew was an open A, and the bow bounced and fishtailed worse than when I first played the instrument. I could play for a minute, maybe two, before I was exhausted, my muscles on fire from the effort. The tone was awful, string crossings were impossible.

And my left hand, which had been out of practice, did not want to do what I knew it could. I had never played better in my life, and then I tripped and lost it all in a second. I considered giving up. I have a wonderful violin from Hannah Fenn and I contemplated selling it and walking away.

My resentment for the violin grew, until I returned to my lessons. My teacher took it easy, picking an easy piece I could play in my sleep beforehand. I worked on it slowly, resting, doing what I can. A new x-ray showed no sign of necrosis. I was cleared by my doctor. Physical therapy was going well, and then I graduated from that.

My playing, slowly, is rebuilding. I auditioned for the same orchestra, and played my first concert with them in April. I started prepping for new opportunities. Slowly, I’m getting back to where I was in August.

I’ve learned to appreciate my body’s capabilities and to trust in the help of others to get where I want to go. The time away from the instrument, combined with a new sense of body mobility, has changed my playing. My shoulder doesn’t move exactly like it used to, not yet anyway. My bow hold has deteriorated and in moments of difficult playing goes off the rails.

I have to be mindful of bow hold more than before, but there have also been some improvements. My vibrato (wrist) is more fluid, effortless. I can play with our without a shoulder rest with no loss in stability, security, or tone. I liken it to learning to play an instrument for the first time, but with years of background knowledge that lets me tackle things quickly.

I had returned to the violin about seven years ago, after a 25-year hiatus. At this stage of my life, in my mid-forties, playing the violin has been something I get to do, not something I have to do. Now, every time I open the case and my gorgeous violin is waiting for me, I feel truly grateful that I am lucky enough to play.

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Replies

Richard Pairaudeau

May 25, 2024 at 09:55 AM · You've had a terrible experience, Dimitri. I'm glad to hear that you were able to return to the violin successfully.

jean dubuisson

May 25, 2024 at 11:22 AM · Thanks for that testimony. You are certainly not alone, although your case seems particularly dramatic, much more than mine? I broke my left shoulder five years ago, fortunately it healed well, but, since it healed without surgery, afterwards I had a frozen shoulder, and that took intensive fysiotherapy to unlock. Fortunately after 6 months in total all was well again. So I was lucky I guess.

Laurie Niles

May 25, 2024 at 08:11 PM · What a harrowing ordeal! I’m happy you are getting back to playing. Thank you for sharing your story.

Lisa Fogler

May 26, 2024 at 08:46 AM · Dear Dimitri...I'm so sorry to hear about this terrible accident. So many thoughts are swirling around my head. We can all easily put ourselves in your shoes and imagine having the same challenges and feelings. Maybe it will help to know that you are not alone. I know another violinist who had almost the same experience and is just starting his road to recovery. He injured himself badly but saved his violin. I sent him the link to your story. Maybe he'll contact you. Also, my sister slipped on ice and had a huge metal plate and so many screws holding together her elbow and humerous. She wasn't a violinist but she was able to recuperate to about 90%, which is great. So, I will pray that you have the best comeback ever!

I'm 65 yrs old and had to stop last year due to injury (I have a genetic disease that affects connective tissue). I just was too damaged to continue. I miss it, but life goes on!

Wesley Parish

May 26, 2024 at 10:18 AM · I came off my bicycle about six years ago, and got myself some borderline fractures in my left elbow. It took me about four months before my left arm felt right for playing again. I did require help from a physio, which I took. Now, with daily practice, it's as though it hadn't happened. After a while you'll stop worrying about it when things start fitting back into place. And that's a reason to rejoice and play your happiest music!

Karen Collins

May 26, 2024 at 11:33 PM · Thanks for sharing your story. The part about starting to play again (and the initial disappointment) really hit home for me. Last August I tripped, fell, and broke my right wrist, right at the beginning of the season for both orchestras I play in. I had surgery to install plate/screws, and as soon as the incision had healed enough, my doctor got me started in physical therapy AND told me to play viola as much as possible, because it was the best way to regain the kind of range-of-motion I had lost.

Since my doctor is not a musician, he didn't know how horrible the bow in that unmoving wrist was going to sound. It was really, really bad - I mean REALLY bad. It was so demoralizing. Luckily my teacher and the conductors of both the university and volunteer orchestras were very understanding and let me come back as soon as the cast came off. I sat in the back and did what I could, which at first wasn't much. Like you, I did experience a sort of upside: I got a lot better at listening to the sound I was making, and trying to figure out how to make it better.

I'm glad you've been able to make such a good recovery, and thanks again for sharing your story.

Neil Poulsen

May 28, 2024 at 12:41 PM ·

Congratulations on your recovery! There's something about playing a musical instrument that gets ingrained. You just can't let it go.

A few years back, just after I had begun playing again subsequent to a decades long hiatus, I broke my left wrist. It was an uncomplicated break, and I had excellent medical care. The fracture healed just fine.

But that was just the beginning of my recovery. Lesson learned, it was really the excellent physical therapy I received afterwards that enabled me to begin playing again. My PT really worked my left wrist back and forth over about a two-month period of time. I ended up with greater mobility in my left wrist than in my right. Without that care, my wrist likely would have lost substantial mobility.

Best that we count our blessings.

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Picking up the Pieces: Relearning the Violin after a Major Injury

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