Parting ways

November 19, 2025, 5:48 AM · Hi all,
What is the best way to inform a community orchestra I am apart of that I won't be returning once the new term starts in January?
I have no issue with any of them, they are all nice enough.
I just am not getting what I wanted from it, but I don't think it's a good idea to say that in case they think I am being snobby about it.

What do you guys think?

Replies (11)

Andrew Fryer

November 19, 2025, 6:42 AM · Just tell them "due to personal commitments" or similar.

Hajime Eda

November 19, 2025, 7:09 AM · If you are not planning to join another orchestra for a while, I think you will definitely be able to secure more time for personal practice.

Jake Watson

November 19, 2025, 7:26 AM · Hajime that does factor into my decision as well, yes as my commute to work is nearly 2 hours each way

Stephen Symchych

November 19, 2025, 7:28 AM · Give notice enough in advance for them to tap the waiting list or run more auditions. After that, less is more. You won't be able to make the rehearsals or the gig.

Steve Jones

Edited: November 19, 2025, 7:30 AM · If your orchestra is anything like the one I've just left they won't be holding any auditions. Assuming you aren't a section leader or expecting a farewell party, have a frank word with the leader and any others you'd consider friends and slip away quietly.

Andrew Fryer

November 19, 2025, 7:52 AM · My section has a WhatsApp group and a couple have said they can't come this term - I don't suppose anyone will express much surprise if we don't see them again.

Hajime Eda

November 19, 2025, 7:57 AM · Jake, it seems you wouldn't be at a loss if asked for your reasons.

Jake Watson

November 19, 2025, 8:42 AM · Steve. Your assumption is correct. I am just a tutti player

Richard Pairaudeau

Edited: November 19, 2025, 2:21 PM · I left an orchestra where I'd been happily for years, but the Sunday rehearsals were a trek from home and the rehearsals were stretching to four hours, with too much talk. It became exhausting and I liked the repertoire a lot less than before.

I spoke personally to the director, the concertino and my section and did my best to finish smoothly and politely.

A C

November 19, 2025, 12:43 PM · Hi Jake, this is a good situation where you could ask AI to help you, in case you haven't tried it yet. Here are the options:

?? Principles for a Good Exit Message
Keep it short: No need for detailed reasons.

Express gratitude: Acknowledge the positive experience.

Be clear: State that you won’t be returning in January.

Leave the door open: Optional, but you can say you hope to attend concerts or stay connected.

?? Sample Wording Options
Option 1 – Straightforward & Appreciative

Dear [Conductor/Coordinator], I wanted to let you know that I won’t be returning to the orchestra in January. I’ve really appreciated the chance to play with such a welcoming group, and I wish you all the best for the upcoming season.

Option 2 – Friendly & Open-Ended

Hi everyone, I’ve decided not to continue with the orchestra in the new term. It’s been a pleasure making music together, and I hope to see you at future concerts or events.

Option 3 – Personal & Warm

Dear [Name], I’m writing to let you know that I won’t be rejoining the orchestra in January. I’ve enjoyed being part of the group and am grateful for the kindness and camaraderie. Wishing you a wonderful season ahead.

?? What Not to Include
Don’t say you “weren’t getting what you wanted”—it risks sounding critical.

Don’t over-apologize—it can make the decision seem negotiable when it isn’t.

Don’t ghost them—silence can cause confusion or inconvenience.

Jake Watson

November 19, 2025, 1:58 PM · AC my choice was closer to the second option there. The response I got was lovely too