Sorry this is a long post but boy it is difficult teaching yourself during a pandemic and i have so many questions that i cant ask a tutor. Thankyou to anyone who reads this and replies.
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I am an adult returnee myself, I'm currently 61 and started back up 2 years ago. It has really helped to have a teacher - even remotely.
It sounds like you've had a torrid time at the hands of our NHS. They're fantastic at many things, but situations like yours are too common.
It's been a long time since I was a beginner (as in decades - I'm 55) and I've never taught, so I'm not the best person to advise you on common mistakes.
Catherine has a good idea - many teachers (mine included) offer lessons over Zoom or Skype and whilst it's definitely not the same as in person, it's still a very valuable experience. All of my lessons have been via Skype since June, and they do work.
Re: NHS: i still have faith in them as a whole and are still very proud of them.
Are the strings new or old? If they are old, then replace them. There are videos on youtube for this. (Also mentioned.)
If all else fails, bring the violin to a luthier.
I rosin my bow every 4hrs of playing or so, and I wipe my strings down with a chamois (and the violin under the strings) after every practice session.
If you'd like help going through things, and are unable to find a teacher, send me an email. I'm happy to help.
So I highly recommend taking it (and really any instrument) to a pro to get a proper setup (atleast once so you know what the instrument is capable of).
As for tuning, mine stayed quite well in-tune before and after the luthier (also slightly easier to get in tune after the visit). Perhaps the way the strings are wound around the pegs? Are they helping the peg bind by being turned into to walls of the pegbox?
Also, take pictures and measurements of where everything is placed (bridge, soundpost) just in case you have to do an emergency reset while, let's say, on a roadtrip or vacation.
Justine, have you managed to find a 'skype' teacher?
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It's so good to hear that you're inspired to continue playing and that you're showing an impressive amount of dedication and perseverance.
There are many patterns of chinrests and many players (me included) take a very long time to settle what's best for themselves - lots of experimentation is necessary (I've a very big box full of shoulder rests and chinrests I discarded on my way to finding my perfect set up). Unfortunately, because everyone is different (no two bodies are identical), what works for one person may not work for someone else. So the bad news is that there is probably little anyone here can do to make too many recommendations.
Normally, most players start out with the help of a human teacher - I've seen Allison's videos online and whilst they're good, they are not even close to being a substitute for one-to-one lessons. I realise that at the moment, in-person lessons are hard to do and find (I'm in the UK and my teacher has had to change her policy on lessons several times over lockdown), but if there is any way you can find someone to teach you, then that is your quickest way to unravelling the entirely natural puzzles you're facing.
One thing I maybe to help with is the tuning issues. If the strings are new, they will take some time to settle. Also, if the violin hasn't been played for a while then it too will need a period of adjustment. So it's quite normal under these circumstances for the instrument to detune periodically. This usually settles after a few days and the instrument will stay in tune longer. But changes in temperature and humidity can also cause the violin to go out of tune so tuning is kind of a reasonably regular thing. You should expect to get more than 10 - 20 minutes in tune - if this hasn't improved after several days then I'd say you do have a problem and should ask the advice of a reputable luthier.
In fact, I'd go so far as to say that to ensure you're instrument is at it's best, it might be worth getting a luthier to check over it. If it's second hand and has been stored without strings for a period, the sound post will almost certainly have moved and will need putting back (definitely a job for a luthier).
In terms of how much rosin to use, to an extent, it depends on how old the bow hair is. If it's reasonably new (less than a year) then a few strokes over the rosin cake should do you for an hour or two. Older bow hair may need more.
Hope this helps