Was it hard convincing your parents to do music professionally as a career?
I was just wondering if you have had any problems ( perhaps with your parents disagreeing) about pursuing a music career.
I really want to take music in university, and hopefully be in some professional orchestra or something someday.Id say I'm not bad at violin nor I am a extremely gifted. I have 2 scholarships which pays for all of my tuition and fees. And I am also in the top youth orchestra in my country (Auckland Youth Orchestra)(New Zealand),and have won multiple compitions doing solo.
The problem is,my parents won't allow me to pursue music as a career.I am 15 years old now, so I have 3 years till uni. They say that music can't get you lots of 💰 and say it's not a real job especially when your playing classical music. (Which I TOTALLY DISAGREE about the classical music part.) They say I should be an accountant, or a engineering, something which gives you a really good wage.
--Do you have any advice for me on how to convince my parents to let me do music in the future.
--what are your guys stories about this topic. (If you have one).
PS. I hope I haven't made this post to confusing.
Will they be paying for school? If not, then don’t be afraid to go against them. If so, maybe come up with some kind of a compromise, like studying two subjects at the same time, or continuing to take lessons on the side with someone who has a known track record in helping students become pros.
It is fine to try to pursue a career in music, but you should have a Plan B in case you are unable to make it in that field. You should get a fairly broad education so that you can switch into some other field fairly easily, if necessary. You should also remember that careers in music include things like teaching, in case you are unable to succeed professionally as a performer. Good luck!
What I'm telling you here is very much the same advice my parents, teachers, and mentors gave me when I was around 15 myself. You will gain a longer perspective on life over time. The occupation you have your heart set on at 15, you may not care to pursue anymore after 20 or 25.
Doing music professionally is very, very different from doing music as a hobby, ad it's not an easy road. I have to agree with Jim. What you think you want to do now may not be what you want to do by the time you're 20 or 25 years old. Ultimately, you should decide what is best for you. Is there anything else you enjoy doing besides playing the violin? What are your other big passions? Think about it, and perhaps look into a career in those other passions. Of course, keep the option of going into music open as well. Bottom line: keep all your options open. You have 3+ years to decide, and plus, you don't have to start college right after high school.
It wasn't hard because they never really believed I could pull it off, and I had an acceptable Plan B (double degree violin performance/mathematics).
I think the double major is a good idea. You have an alternative in case one of them doesn't work out.
Not only was majoring in music out of the question to my parents, but I was forbidden from playing the violin (I had played the piano for about ten years, and in high school I decided I wanted to learn to play the violin). So, as a junior in HS, I bought a violin from a friend, taught myself, and practiced in secret until going to college. The day I left, I pulled it out and played an American fiddle tune, to their shock and disbelief. Anyway, though I was supposedly going to be pre-law, my father was somewhat disturbed at all the music courses I was taking. When he figured it out, he hit the roof, was going to throw me out, etc. But the chair of the music dept. had promised me a free ride if I was disowned, I had a place to stay, and so I called his bluff. My father, especially, was awful about it, but my mother convinced him not to kick me out, and they actually paid for the rest of my schooling (BA, Music Composition). My father was convinced that I would be a failure, so my record contract at the end of my first year after college came as a shock to him. I had a great experience in my 20s, making records and touring. I also had to live very cheaply and sometimes barely made rent.
The OP has previously mentioned that his parents are "poor", although they recently bought him an NZ$7k violin (about $5k USD), so I'm guessing they're not poor, merely of modest means. Nevertheless, they probably have the desire to see their child become more financially successful than they are themselves.
No. My parents did not discourage me from being a musician or being a music major in college, because they were just as naive as me. The real barrier was financial. I have never owned a pro-level violin. When I announced that I wanted to go to one of the private conservatories, my father simply said "I can't afford it", so I did a public Univ. BA-music instead.
My father was not excited about the prospect of my studying music. I think this was partially a cultural barrier for him - in the culture in which he grew up, one should be a doctor or a lawyer or "do some good in the world". Though he is very sensitive and is deeply moved by music, it was foreign to him to consider doing it full time. And I think he spoke out of his deep concern for me and instincts to make sure I was well-cared for in the future and not struggling financially. Even great parents can be unwilling to see when their children want something so different from what they imagined, and it can be hard for them to let go of their ideas.
Circumstances two to four years before I was born convinced my father to do music professionally as a career. However, both my parents believed, rightly, that neither my brother nor I should do music professionally as a career. We are both mainly amateurs (although occasionally I did pick up a fee, and my brother was frequently engaged as a 'cello continuo by professionals, because as a singer himself he could predict what singers would do by observing their backs).
Math, statistics, data analytics, and accounting are good "second" courses because you can basically do them at the same time as violin performance *if* you go to a comprehensive type of institution such as University of Indiana or Oberlin College (just to name two that have good music conservatories). That's because those disciplines (math, etc.) do not have heavy-duty lab or major-project requirements (like engineers, chemists, and other science majors typically have), and the course load in something like math is often back-loaded (more courses in your latter years) while it's more front-loaded in music with theory, class piano, etc. (I know because I have a college-aged relative who is doing this.) You would need a violin professor who is amenable to your dual plan, however.
You don't need to be the most highly talented musician, but you do need greater internal motivation and self-discipline, and the deepest interest in music, to succeed.
There's many posts here that say doing music professionally is hard and not like a hobby. I don't disagree, but at the same time is any career not as easy as you envision prior to entering the profession? Any profession where you have to deal with other people can be challenging and competitive. Working in general sucks. If I'm going to slog it out for a career at least I'd like to do something that I enjoy instead of something that just pays the bills.
I dunno, some careers really do involve doing stuff you love every day. You just have to pick the right one.
Lydia's right that some careers are doing what you love. But "loving it" depends strongly on two factors. First, you have to be successful enough at it to have reasonable job security and a decent income. That kind of success is very competitive these days, and luck invariably plays a role. Second, you have to develop a thick skin for the particular indignities that infiltrate your chosen field -- because indignities there will surely be -- so that you can focus on the parts of your job that bring you joy.
It was never a question of "convincing them". At the age of 18, I informed my parents of what I intended to study at uni, and that was that.
@Lydia Leong: I live in Auckland, NZ and we have a serious shortage of teachers, so I don't think teachers are as well paid as software developer.
Kate, you're right of course. I meant my remarks in the typical American middle-class context. Rather ethnocentric, I know.
Lydia/Paul- I agree, it would be nice to pick the right career, but it's a bit like throwing darts blind. Typically kids go to college and choose a major and then a career based on some brochures, college visits, cool profs, etc. That's all academic marketing. The working world is completely different from a student academic environment. Whether you stay in acadamia or go into the corporate world, it boils down to spending most of your time dealing with mundane tasks outside of what you studied, meetings, responding to bosses, and eventually the joys of mid level management where you will probably stay until you get the gold watch. I'm lucky enough in my career as military to do something "new" every few years, but at the end of the day it's the same thing just different office. Sometimes I see people 20 years older than me still slugging it out on the subway and wonder how they can do it.
I suspect that "look at the devil you know" is what often results in kids going into fields that their parents are in, and/or that their parents' social circle are in. Connections don't hurt there, either.
I kept being asked when I was going to stop messing about with music and get a proper job.
Darren, before you choose the path, I suggest to get closer to several people who proceed to the different point on it.
Since no career is 100% safe, just go for what you envision yourself doing (and be in touch with your current environment, best and worst case scenarios, etc.)
The time you spend training is typically a significant fraction of your life too. It's a bad omen if that part of it (such as college plus medical school / graduate school plus postdoc training, or practicing violin for thousands of hours, or whatever) is something you know will be miserable for you. I enjoyed grad school and being a postdoc, even though there were definitely some difficult hurdles to cross. I do have to admit part of that "enjoyment" stemmed from a sense of certainty that the effort and sacrifice would pay off in the end, certainty that was inspired by the experiences of my own parents who followed similar paths.
We must also take into consideration the different career paths that the same university educations have in different countries. Ive understood that in English speaking countries a degree in history or literature can land you in a job in the commercial world for example or in the administrative byrocracy. Correct if Im wrong though.
I would recommend Darren talk to his teacher, and as many professionals as he can find, to get a realistic assessment of his playing & whether studying music would be a good choice for him.
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