You Know You're an Orch Dork When...

June 17, 2004 at 11:01 PM · Found this here and was very amused when I saw that 99% of the things listed I do! Ah!

You buy light colored shirts to avoid rosin stains

You get together with your friends and in the midst of deciding what to do, you find yourselves playing chamber music

You don't go out on weekends because "you have an audition" the next day...or even orch dorkier, a rehearsal

You buy things like cookie cutters and pasta in the shape of musical notes and instruments

You've put Tchaikovsky's birthday on your calendar

You know every viola joke by heart

When you think about it, you really don’t think the viola jokes are that funny because you know that they are all so TRUE

You know what a Hammered Dulcimer is

You have separate buddy for orch dorks and one for "regular people"

You know the words to the choral version of The 1812 Overture

You know that there is a choral version of The 1812 Overture

You go to parties and people direct you right to the "orch dork corner"

You've decorated the inside of your case...with things that pertain to music

You know what an Austrian 6th chord is

You don't mind getting up at 7 on Saturdays

You carry around a pocket music dictionary...and read it just for fun

You've named your instrument

The highlight of your New Year's is the Mostly Mozart concert

You follow along in the score when you listen to classical music

You own scores

You know what a hemidemisemiquaver is

You find some way to incorporate music into all of your school research papers

During your homework breaks you practice Shostakovich string quartets for fun

You correct your friends when they call pieces "songs"

You can draw various instruments on your etch-a-sketch

You carry around a nail clipper

You read program notes

You play along with Mahler symphonies on the kazoo

You know how to pronounce Dohnanyi

You have friends with screen names like Carlpebach and CadenzaV2

You sing Beethoven/Tchaikovsky symphonies in parts for fun

You have random spasms which cause you to play Copland’s Rodeo

You take up badminton to try and get your mind off your depression caused by orchestra ending for the year

You see seating auditions as a social gathering

You avoid gym volleyball to avoid hurting your fingers

You can play the first and second violin parts of Tchaik 4 on cue

You ask for reeds/bows/rosin/mutes for Christmas...and then cry when you don't get them

You have a conniption when people clap between movements

You start off conversations with things like, “The funniest thing happened last night during my 11 measures rest in the second movement of the Tchaikovsky...”

When you come to a rut in the conversation, you show off your perfect pitch skills by singing A 440 to break the tension

You protect your hands at all costs...except in the case of Egyptian ratscrew

The Shar catalog in the mail brightens your day

You have Shar on speed dial

You have a fit in choir when people don't cut off at the right time

Your graduation (birthday, etc) party guest list contains more orch dorks than people from your school

Shine is your favorite movie

Whenever you're in school you think about how an orch dork school would be so much cooler

You make fun of community choirs full of 70 year olds for fun

You know Mozart's full name

You get a copy of BMG's Encore Magazine twice a month

You judge people's coolness by how well they can hoe-down

You go nuts when you hear the school bell go off because you try to figure out what pitch it is

You dance along with your “Dr. Beat”

The A440 has gone off on your pocket metronome in the middle of English class

You have inadvertently referred to Saturday as “audition day”

Replies (54)

June 18, 2004 at 01:19 AM · Whewww...only 2 out of however many are on the list. What a relief.

June 18, 2004 at 01:27 AM · OH man! I never realized what an Orch dork I am....

speaking of Copland's rodeo, does anyone else get annoyed when people ask you to play the "beef song??"

June 18, 2004 at 01:29 AM · ha. actually. I don't have to take gym class anymore because I convinced the school it would be detrimental to my career, since I might break a finger. What do I do in my free time, you ask? Why, practice. Naturally.

June 18, 2004 at 01:42 AM · match like almost all of those....

June 18, 2004 at 01:53 AM · unfortunately i only missed a couple of those, damn, and im not even in an orchestra anymore.

June 18, 2004 at 02:13 AM · Something that might be added on there...."If your homepage is"

June 18, 2004 at 02:29 AM · hehe...very amusing! though I get up at 5 am on Saturdays...not 7.

June 18, 2004 at 05:05 AM · Orch dorks all have a home here...welcomed with open arms and prunes!

June 18, 2004 at 06:10 AM · That makes me feel so loved, Laurie! :)

June 18, 2004 at 06:30 AM · Greetings,

notice it is an anagram of choko rods. What could be better?



June 18, 2004 at 06:57 AM · .... you know the metronome markings to Schumann Scherzo (144) and Prokofiev Classical Symphony 1st movt. (100)

June 18, 2004 at 11:19 AM · Greetings,

sorry Gregory. That is not enough. You know all the tempo indications of the Beethoven symphonies and which conducters adhere the most strictly to them...



June 18, 2004 at 12:54 PM · I don't know Buri....something to that extent might qualify someone as lord of the orch dorks.

June 18, 2004 at 02:50 PM · then that's probably his new title

June 18, 2004 at 03:03 PM · Hehe...I knew that about the Schumann. I played that for an audition a couple weeks ago.

Or better yet then just the tempos of a Beethoven symphony, but how about being able to outline it, keys, forms, meters, what the orchestra is doing at any given moment.....

(thank you to RCM for giving me the opportunity to be able to do that for both symphonic, operatic, and chamber music)

June 18, 2004 at 03:42 PM · hahaha. and you can play any given excerpt from mozart's haffner in your sleep. in fact, sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night to find yourself practicing the opening d octaves...

June 18, 2004 at 06:45 PM · you know your an orchestra dork when you'd rather put a neon light on your music stand than on your honda

June 18, 2004 at 06:51 PM · you know your a violin dork when you've made more than 1 of your non-music friends watch red violin because YOU thought it was cool

June 18, 2004 at 09:20 PM · I matched only about to 10 of those - I feel so lame now... :(

June 18, 2004 at 09:34 PM · Greetings,

getting somewhat into the realms of the surreal- you have really graduated if you listen intently to the sound of your ealy mornign flatulence to see if it bears any resemblence in pitch or rythm to themes from the standard repertoire,



June 18, 2004 at 11:55 PM · Well, the school bell in my former school, where we have our concerts, does an arpeggiated C-major chord downwards (c-g-e-c). Very fitting when it goes off while we're rehearsing some piece in f-sharp minor or the likes...

You're an orch dork if you name your mascot (a little plush devil) after your orchestra, and name yourself online "DancingDevil"...

June 19, 2004 at 12:26 AM · You're an orch dork when someone asks you what car you drive, and you respond: "Kreisler"

June 19, 2004 at 12:36 AM · *sigh* You guys are lucky...I'm just an orch dork wannabe... :)

June 19, 2004 at 04:25 PM · oh, just you wait.

June 20, 2004 at 02:42 AM · You know you're an Orch Dork when you jump up and shout that's " the verdi missa de requiem" when you hear it on an SUV commercial.

June 20, 2004 at 10:26 AM · Does dorkiness include buying every any orchestral video you find, checking the music credits before you get a movie, tuning into a TV show only long enough to blast the opening theme song, and putting Meryl Streep at the top of your favorites list because she actually learned to play violin for her part in a (by-the-way-fabulous)movie? (OK, so it gets even worse, I'll stop here...) ~AB

June 20, 2004 at 11:14 AM · When your favorite Web site is

June 20, 2004 at 11:28 AM · my favourite website is (and my second favourite is Ben Clapton, Violinist and Composer <- cheap plug...)

June 20, 2004 at 04:31 PM · LOL...I need to go to Orch. Camp for adults...I've missed out on so much...


June 21, 2004 at 12:35 AM · Make that Russell Crow for my, Avelyn, instead of Meryl Streep ;)

(Yes, I just saw MAster & Commander, and immediately wanted to play this cool Boccherini piece *g*)

June 21, 2004 at 01:17 AM · uh, please. Russel Crowe was the worst violin-faker I've seen in a while. But the Bach cello suite made that movie at least endurable.

June 21, 2004 at 04:20 AM · u know ur an orch dork when u bring ur "Art of Violin" tape to church and play it in front of all the toddlers instead of teaching a lesson that day

June 21, 2004 at 04:21 AM · u also know ur an orch dork if u happened to ride 15 hours on a plane to South Korea and the first thing u do when u get to a shelter at 3 am is start practicing.... hey i wasnt sleepy

June 21, 2004 at 05:25 AM · Greetings,

Da, pls could you write using fulkl words as your messages are rather hard t rd. This is nt the standard Eng. thts used on this list. Fllow my exmplae and you can"t og wrong ;)



June 21, 2004 at 06:44 AM · Buri,

ur b-ing anal 2day.


June 21, 2004 at 07:39 AM · G

B m dk a f h



June 21, 2004 at 08:20 AM · Greetings,

Carl. I beg to differ and I did find your answer rude.

I actually stated a fact. I genuinly do find it hard to read someones messages when they use computer -eaze.

Nor do I think it is anal to point out that this is not the current style of writing used on the list and these kinds of things can be important to some people, especially older ones.

The computer is not exactly the same kind of discourse as conversation in which I am intolerant of people using inappropriate bad language and levels of speech. Here there is a certain amound of leeway which includes Daniel"s right to do as he pleases and my right to express disagreement with that. I do not think my protest was over the top.

Your comment was, since it avoided the point and resorted to name calling.



June 21, 2004 at 03:59 PM · I seem to have a real problem when it comes to offending you! I thought that the mere nature of my message (in computer abbreviations) would make it perfectly clear that it was jokey message. As I've said in the past, I never mean to offend so don't take me too seriously... I'm not *really* a serious person.

I apologise for any unintended offense my message caused.


PS just realised that b-ing might not be interpreted as 'being.' That was absolutely unintentional. Sorry!

June 22, 2004 at 12:01 AM · Greetings,

Carl, I am only happy if you offend me at least once a week. And for two years I have been trying to pick an argument wityh you that you have avoided each time with such adroitness I have rechristende you the Gentleman Houdini of violnist com.

These kinds of problems about language can be quite interesting though. I do feel the registar and tenor of this list is quite well establihsed so I find it really jarring when somebody uses a diffrent dialect, which is essentially what Dan was doing. If computer dialect is okay (and I call standard English a dialect rather than the supreme language) then what else is acceptable? Cockney, standard Italian?

Initially I tried to keep my use of this list in a completey socially neutral space but I have foudn that to be utterly impossible. I think others have found likewise, whereas to more regualr computer users these kind of disctinctions are less important.

BUt I don`t think the human race is ever going to get rid of tenor and register in discourse so I wonder if people would also use abbrviate language for job applications or exams?

Actually this has becmoe a major issue in education where teahcers are refusing to accept papers in computer dialect and students are challenging them, at times in court.

I am probably oversensitive to this for another reason. It is now considered normal to communciate with your friends all day long using mobile phone messages. Aside from the social implications of this, bad manners becoming normal, the limited space available means a severe reduction in the use of grammatical markers. These markers contian very refined meanings that help one articulate and process deeper level thopughts. I have watched over the last ten years as stduents ability to reason and articulate ideas has degenerated in a very marked fashion , largely as a result of this not so hidden plague,


B uri

June 22, 2004 at 12:27 AM · I wonder if typos count as bad internet slang?

June 22, 2004 at 12:31 AM · No more than dropped Ts and Hs, surely... you from the East End, Buri?

June 22, 2004 at 03:18 AM · i always wanted to be on eastenders. does that count?

June 22, 2004 at 05:04 AM · you are totally rite i never knew how much i am an orchestra dork well at least im not alone.

June 22, 2004 at 06:54 AM · I know exactly what you mean Buri. I am one of the very few people I know who types text messages with fully written-out words and all the correct grammar - I can't stand all the laziness either.

If you want to fight, I'm game for a match - but fists only, I'm not good with words.


June 22, 2004 at 07:03 AM · Greetings,

my fingers are currently wrapped in cooling bandanges after my bout with Titanium strings. So I`ll pass this time. Anyway, my long lost son from Sweden usually stands in for me. Get on a plane to Sweden...



June 22, 2004 at 10:22 AM · I don't get the one about the hammered dulcimer.??? Aren't those used in folk music?


June 22, 2004 at 10:23 AM · Greetings,

yikes, I thought it was referring to my cousin when she gets drunk on too many Cherry B's,



June 22, 2004 at 10:44 AM · I'm not a orch dork....I'm a mega orch dork haha

March 25, 2010 at 09:17 PM ·

i joined the facebook group of this!

March 26, 2010 at 01:18 AM ·

When you fight to take off this concerto of your mind while doing a crucial maths or physics exam...    Seriously this happens!    Quite annoying whan a musician has to tell many time to her brain to "shut up" during an exam...     Somehow, when music has highjacked your soul...  Not just a virus can highjaked your cells!!!

But is it automatically related to an orchestra or just the passion of music???


March 28, 2010 at 10:02 AM ·

Hahaha this thread makes me miss Aspen so much.  I think being totally free to be an orchestra dork and actually fit in as such was the nicest part about it.  I still have xerox copies of all the music I ever played in orchestra and one entire wall of my apartment is dedicated to taping up orchestra parts so I can go over to the wall with my violin and happily play a symphony part from one end of the apartment to the other.  My orchestra wall is currently featuring the 5th symphony by Prokofiev.

March 28, 2010 at 02:38 PM ·

When looking for a new suit you wonder if it comes in tails!

March 28, 2010 at 05:12 PM ·

Royce also when you start to look for sweathers with no collar or voluminous necklines when you shop!


March 28, 2010 at 10:58 PM ·

Oh so true!!!!!

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