I'm afraid I have to quit violin because of weakness.

February 13, 2017 at 11:24 PM · I had very dark thoughts about violin since I met my teacher and started learning from him.

Since the first day, he did a thing I still remember.

Whenever I made a mistake, he would grab his own violin and copy what I've done in a hurtful grotesque manner. This cut my consciousness deep.

I told him his actions hurt me, and he promised to think over it. It seems he improved his behavior, but today happened something that made me think if it's worth it.

Today I came to another lesson and I realized I couldn't grab the violin because of an odd feeling. It was something like guilt. I felt that before while trying to play by myself. I couldn't play a single note. I left the facility without making any needed contribution.

I promised to my teacher I will come back next week but I'm not so sure about it now. I'm thinking about quitting violin because I get memories about lessons stuck in my head even when I don't play. On the other hand, it feels like I'll betray myself since I wanted to play the violin my entire life and right now I got the possibility and it was taken from me.

I would like to hear your suggestions on how I can continue studying without feeling pain.

Replies (22)

February 13, 2017 at 11:41 PM · Find a new teacher. Lots of lists out there. Send an email to the local high school orchestra director, string shops maintain a list. Have some trial lessons. Been taking violin lessons for 15 years with 3 different teachers, piano lessons when I was a kid, never been treated that way, and I wouldn't tolerate it either

February 14, 2017 at 12:11 AM · Editing my post because I did not realize names were being mentioned.

February 14, 2017 at 12:19 AM · Duplicate post.

February 14, 2017 at 12:19 AM · I don't know where you live, but surely there are other teachers. If you love the violin, you will want to learn, and you won't let ANY teacher, no matter how negative, stop you. It is up to you, in the final analysis. I wish you success in finding someone good to learn from.

February 14, 2017 at 12:48 AM · Obviously your current teacher's approach isn't working out for you. Like everyone above said, get a new teacher, not a new instrument.

I've personally HATED my piano teacher but my parents kind of forced it on me. I was playing at public functions when I was 6~9 but I deeply hated it and quit as soon as I could. My teacher, she used to tape sharp pencils under my wrists and she would hit my hands down everytime I hit the wrong key. i still have some pencil leads in my palm thanks to the teacher.

If I had a new teacher earlier on, I probably would have continued, but the hatred toward my teacher kind of made me never look at another piano.

February 14, 2017 at 01:17 AM · I think it best in life for a teacher to encourage learning versus discourage learning. Maybe this teacher somehow meant well in his own way to help you learn, but find yourself a new teacher and put this bad experience behind you. There are some members here with a year or two practice that post videos of their playing asking for criticism and have made incredible progress in such a short time and I think you can amaze us with a year's practice and a new great teacher.

Welcome Alexey.

February 14, 2017 at 01:28 AM · Hi Alexey,

I am sorry to hear that your present teacher has spoilt your love for violin. Unfortunately, you have found one of the very rare teachers that has a sadistic streak; I have heard of teachers who bring their students to tears during the lesson. This is of course the worst sort of teaching. All the teachers I have had have been knowledgeable, kind, patient, and place the highest value on their student's felicitous progress. By now I am sure you realize that you deserve a better teacher, and I hope next time we hear from you, you will have found one who returns to you your original joy of violin.

February 14, 2017 at 01:52 AM · There are many different styles of teaching, and many different styles of learning. I'd say you have a mismatch!

Look for a new teacher!

February 14, 2017 at 02:41 AM · Change your teacher.

There are more requirements in teaching violin than being able to play the violin, and I don't think your teacher is any good.

February 14, 2017 at 03:37 AM · Change teachers.

There are teachers out there who will exaggerate what you're doing in order to demonstrate what you're doing wrong. They are usually not doing it to be mean. But if you're not comfortable seeing it, it's not a good match and you should find someone else to study with.

February 14, 2017 at 04:03 AM · I do on occasion exaggerate a student's mistakes, but I always remind the student first that I make it sound worse than it actually was. I've never intended it to be hurtful nor have I ever gotten a reaction from a student that it was perceived that way. In fact, I usually do so in a way intended to get a laugh out of the student, and I almost always do.

remainder of post redacted

February 14, 2017 at 07:40 PM · Bad story. Such a behaviour is not acceptable at all.

What would be really important to know:

- How old are you?

- How long do you play the violin?

- Since when are you a student of this teacher?

- What is your skill level, aka which pieces do you play?

I would be happy to offer you a free lesson with the guarantee to give you a sense of achievement.

February 14, 2017 at 08:53 PM · Retracting my original comment as it may cause more harm than good.

February 14, 2017 at 09:04 PM · I'm hesitant to say anything here to the OP. If you read his bio, it says a lot. We are here to support him, just that I don't know how because he said too little and perhaps too much already.

February 14, 2017 at 09:19 PM · I'm with John and Yixi. Nothing can be ascertained from what was written. Just sounds like someone who's fairly whiny.

February 14, 2017 at 09:19 PM ·

February 14, 2017 at 10:04 PM · We don't know the whole story. Maybe the teacher was really rough on him, therefore his "bio."

February 14, 2017 at 10:22 PM · I think you should forgive and forget. Find another teacher and also be prepared for much worse things to happen in life.

February 14, 2017 at 10:40 PM · Frankly I find both the OP's photo and statement to be disturbing.

February 14, 2017 at 11:37 PM · I'm not saying the OP is whiny. He seems to be consumed by anger and is crying out for help. It's just I don't know I can offer help that will not do more harm.

February 15, 2017 at 12:04 AM · I think there's more here than just his violin issue.

February 15, 2017 at 01:27 AM · Well, if your teacher was making you hate lessons, violin and music, then he was a very bad teacher. Just change, like every body here is saying.

But there's a thing I don't understand. Whenever I make a mistake I don't really understand, I ask my teacher MYSELF to please reproduce my mistake, exaggerating, to see what he means when he says you're not doing it right. It's one of the best ways of learning in my opinion, to see your errors exaggerated, so it's bright and clear what you're doing wrong. I hate it when a teacher tries to explain an error with words and start talking and talking instead of take the violin and reproduce my error himself. Those times is when I ask him to play like me. Of course, he never ever mocks me in an offensive way, neither I would get offended by my teacher trying to offend me by imitating me, I would laugh, a lot, if he tries to do that.

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