Something I deal with on a daily basis is clinical depression, and suicidal ideation, which has had major effects in the way I live. Playing the violin is one of my coping strategies to help me deal with my emotions. It's one of the few strands of happiness I receive every day, which I am thankful for. However, this last year, I have been keeping a practice journal, however rather than making notes to my practicing, they turn into 'rants' about how much I suck. I work with a therapist in managing my thoughts, but I'd like to know you're input on how to stay positive and how to grow when practicing, without drilling my fingers, until I break out into tears of frustration. I don't mean to complain, but my deppression has brought the worst emotions out of me. I take antidepressants, but although it improves my overall mood, my thoughts are still very negative, which ends up making me feel like crap if I can't play something how it needs to sound. I hope you all can help me achieve some positivity in regards to practicing.
Thank you very much,
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