My question is simple: How do I start practicing again after losing a loved one?
On March 13, 2015 I lost my closest friend - closer to me than even my family. I haven't managed to practice one time since then, but my musical "demands" continue. I am full-time violin teacher, I play in several symphonies, am part of a regular performing quartet and gig on a regular basis. For my own pursuits I also still take lessons from a renowned teacher in our area, but I stopped lessons on what was supposed to be a temporary basis after it happened.
In public I am able to appear like everything is fine, and so far my sight-reading skills are compensating for my lack of practicing but I am struggling. I know how my skills suffer after not practicing for just a week and I'm really worried about how much damage I've done to myself. I was practicing 3-5 hours a day before and right now I'm sitting at home looking at my violin case and I can't make myself open it.
Any suggestions would be welcome.
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