Introducing the new Musafia CARBON FIBER case

April 1, 2014 at 02:12 PM · Featuring doormat-quality interior lining that will virtually never wear out even if you walk on it daily, the shell is guaranteed to bounce back to its original shape even if flattened by an automobile passing over it, Hummers included.

Style is likewise paramount: the most original feature is in fact the cover-less exterior that will collect scratches on an entirely random basis to create, with time, a truly unique work of art, each one original and different.

Humidity control is achieved through a mouthpiece that you can breathe into when your iPhone or Android device receives a “dry air” text alert coming from the case itself (visit our website to download the app). A small compartment can house hot coals for winter heating, featuring an ingenious cinder trap that you can inconspicuously empty onto your neighbor’s driveway before entering your house, and in a pinch it can barbecue a filet mignon in less than 15 minutes.

Theft of the case and the violin it contains is deterred by metal spikes, studded with industrial grade diamonds, that automatically come out of the handle should the embedded software not recognize your fingerprint (don’t wear gloves!), and tracking of the stolen case is facilitated by its releasing a smokescreen that can be visible for miles and is guaranteed to attract the attention of not only the police, but also the Federal Aviation Administration.

So many ground-breaking features obviously have a price, but we are happy to introduce qualifying clients to Joe “King Kong” Pesci of Great White Financial Services in Hoboken, New Jersey, and their international affiliates, for financing at very competitive rates, so competitive in fact that you’ll discover that you simply can’t refuse.

As the French say, “poisson sans boissons c’est poison” (rough translation: eating fish without good wine is awful).

Cheers!

Replies (37)

April 1, 2014 at 02:46 PM · No kidding?!!! ;)

April 1, 2014 at 02:49 PM · I'm delighted to see such an innovative case that protects the violin within, even when flattened by an automobile. May I suggest "KalApr" as an appropriate trademark in honor of its date of inception.

April 1, 2014 at 03:25 PM · May I suggest a few modifications. Whist the handle sounds innovative, I think you have overlooked that it should also spontaneously detach itself from the case. You could apply this model to the hinges too.

Then, when the violin hits the ground, it can go BAM.

Cheers Carlo

April 1, 2014 at 04:42 PM · I would buy this, cash in hand at whatever price, but there is no indication of the case being able to store a wine bottle (at proper wine storage temps and humidity [for both red and whites]) and I would need my fillet mignon done in 10 minutes. Cant have a nice steak like that without a good bottle of wine all while on the go!

and there is no indication that this case will make my violin sound like an real strad. :(

April 1, 2014 at 05:06 PM · Pisces 2.0 my friend, have patience...

April 1, 2014 at 06:40 PM · Is it on sale for today only, April 1st?

Sign me up!

:^)

April 1, 2014 at 06:48 PM · More ideas for 2.0...

Your heating system for this modern case is very old school. In this time of climate change etc, you need to look at alternative, non fossil fuel based, systems of heating.

I think recycling is the answer. I believe that spent fuel from a nuclear reactor continues to emit heat for thousands of years. Incorporating a small amount of this material into these cases, would not only keep the violin warm, but would prevent an infestation of potentially damaging insects. The exception being of course cockroaches as these can survive low level radiation. Soaking the case in DDT will cover this possibility, and provide long term protection.

I don't want to blow my own trumpet so to speak, but you NEED me on your design team for future releases. I have many more ideas such as my pocket sized folding case and the hang-glider case (part glider part case), but as this is a public forum, I don't wish to discuss them here as there may be issues with intellectual property, patents etc. Send me a PM by midnight tonight, with a very generous offer, and I will consider it.

Cheers Carlo

April 2, 2014 at 01:25 AM · If we ignore the precession, the Sun is passing through the constellation of ARIES.

Nice try.

April 2, 2014 at 02:08 AM · I'm sure this case will end up having a waiting list even longer than Baker's Rosin!

April 2, 2014 at 02:09 AM · ROFL!

The only bit I believe it the hot air part...

April 3, 2014 at 08:00 AM · Dear Dimitri

As time has expired on my superlative offer, I have reluctantly taken my genius to another case manufacturer, German Extrusions Without Artistry.

I have offered them my idea of reinforcing their cases with bubblegum to increase the strength by 150%. We are still in talks...

Cheers Carlo

April 3, 2014 at 09:17 AM · Well, I hope you speak good Mandarin! ;-)

April 3, 2014 at 10:16 AM · Lugging instruments around is a pain.

Dimitri, would you please make us a flying "drone" case, which will deliver the instrument to us at our destination?

April 3, 2014 at 11:19 AM · David,

We won't need cases - nor luthiers either - soon. What with 3D printing we can carry our violins, violas and even double basses in our USB key (as many variants as we like) and simply 3D print them at our destination. The instrument is then recycled for printer pulp after use.

ee

April 3, 2014 at 11:54 AM · Elise,

USB-stick? You mean I can't just access my violin in the cloud?

April 3, 2014 at 04:43 PM · :D

violin in the cloud, has a certain ring to it. Who knows, maybe del Gesu would make a few adjustmnents while it was up there...

April 3, 2014 at 04:58 PM · Forget the fancy case and the drone, we need a transporter like Star Trek so we could zap ourselves and our instruments directly to our destination.

April 3, 2014 at 06:15 PM · Now I must say that I really like the drone idea. When I was a kid, I built model airplanes. Now I could do the same as an adult without looking silly.

April 3, 2014 at 06:24 PM · What is this cloud of which you speak, it sounds like witchcraft!

April 3, 2014 at 10:13 PM · "Forget the fancy case and the drone, we need a transporter like Star Trek so we could zap ourselves and our instruments directly to our destination."

Weren't there occasional transporter errors on Star Trek?

What will you do if your violin arrives as a trombone?

April 3, 2014 at 11:12 PM · Or as a viola...

April 4, 2014 at 12:31 AM · The horror ... the horror....

April 4, 2014 at 02:35 AM · Love this idea! Just one added suggestion for security: a moat filled with piranha! Or small violas!

April 4, 2014 at 08:51 AM · Could the violin be made of the same material as this new case, so it would recover its shape after the HMV has drive over it?

April 4, 2014 at 08:52 AM · ..and the bit about small violas was not very nice!

April 4, 2014 at 12:08 PM · OK - BIG violas! (They do bite, you know!)

April 4, 2014 at 12:18 PM · Even the non-carnivorous ones?

April 4, 2014 at 03:44 PM · Pisces 2.0 (viola version)... spikes fitted to the inside alla iron maiden!

April 4, 2014 at 05:11 PM · I don't know of any non-carnivorous violas. In fact, their bites are very toxic with sometimes strange and unforeseen effects. Once a viola bit me - and turned me into a newt!!!

April 4, 2014 at 07:04 PM · Viola version for next Apr. 1, folks!

April 5, 2014 at 01:39 AM · Danged flesh-eating violas. It's hard to know what the level of danger is before it's too late.

Sometimes I'll offer a viola a choice between a carrot and a steak, just to see how it reacts. Can't be too careful, ya know.

April 5, 2014 at 02:16 AM · Yes, and fortunately, I got better from that newt thing! (And extra credit and bragging rights to the first person who says what movie I stole that bit from!)

April 5, 2014 at 02:37 AM · Brave sir Raphael -- that would be The Holy Grail!

April 5, 2014 at 02:55 AM · We have a winner!!!

April 5, 2014 at 06:50 AM · I just knew that Hollywood would have caught onto this thread by now...

April 5, 2014 at 09:05 AM · The TV program has already been made:

The Case of the Desperate Deception

April 5, 2014 at 02:50 PM · https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PA9t1nSGXXE

Elise, one wonders why Hamilton Burger never just gave up. I mean, with an adversary like P.M. he simply could NOT win a ...case.

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