I'm a junior in high school, and around this time of year, its time to start thinking about colleges.
I have played violin since the age of 4, yet I am not at the level that I want to be. The most recent thing I am able to play is the accolay violin concerto, which isnt that hard for me at all, but my skill level is a little higher than that. I feel like I have an attachment to music, but at the same time I want to quit because I am not good enough. I am truly ashamed of myself for being at the level I am after playing for 12 years, and I often think that maybe the violin just isn't for me.
But I know that I have an attachment to violin. This passing summer, I went on vacation for 4 weeks and the whole time, I just wanted to get my hands on a violin and practice or just play silly things, because I missed it so much.
I'm not sure what to do, or where I want to go for college. I don't even think I will be able to get into any good music programs with the lack of skill I have.
It's easy to say that if you love something, keep doing it. But in this case, I love something, but am not capable of continuing without causing myself stress. Music has made me both happy and depressed because I love it but I also feel like I am not good enough to play it.
so the question here is: Should I just seek something else and give up violin? What should I do in college?
EDIT: a lot of people have been asking if i have a private teacher. Yes, i do. I've had private lessons ever since i first started out and i still do.
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