Is 12 too young to join

June 30, 2011 at 08:58 PM ·


I have been reading the forum for a few years and have recently posted a few times.  From what I can tell, it's one of the most civil internet forums around.  I was thinking of letting my daughter (12 year old) join the forum to read and post.  Do you think that is too young?

Aside from an occasional harmless innuendos, I haven't seen anything that I would object for my daughter reading.  What do you guys think?  

FYI, I'm not a violinist myself, but a parent of a couple of young violinists including this 12 year old.


Replies (36)

June 30, 2011 at 09:39 PM ·

 Not at all! I think it's fine. What you should be more worried about is if it will hold her interest!

But truly, she has to be able to communicate with other musicians. And if she sees that you support her, that is great!

June 30, 2011 at 09:45 PM ·

I think 12 is marginal.  For the most part, the content here is pretty clean, but there is occasional content that is somewhat risque.  I commend Laurie for NOT doing too much censorship.  But if someone is completely off base or excessively rude to another member, she has been known to boot them off the board and remove their postings.  Thankfully, that does not happen very often.  BTW, how did I last so long?  Anyhow, I enjoy the fact that this is an open forum and comments are for the most part uncensored.


June 30, 2011 at 11:02 PM ·

I don't think I've ever seen anything worse than mild "double entendre" on this site - comments that (hopefully) will whizz past anyone who hasn't got a mind like mine! And in general, this must be one of the most constructive and supportive sites anywhere. So, welcome.

July 1, 2011 at 03:37 AM ·

 My daughter found this board herself when she was 12 and learned a lot from it. 

July 1, 2011 at 06:28 AM ·

If she has access to the internet herself (and what child does not), is about as tame as she could find.  To my mind the benefit of a high-quality site with amazing information far, far, far oversahddows the occasional bon mot, innuendo or spat.  If my daughter (which I have none) expressed the interest I think I'd get her a notebook computer just to indulge.... when you think what else they could be investing their minds into!

I look forward to 'meeting' her. :)

July 1, 2011 at 07:46 AM ·

in the longer run, it also might benefit, having such young growing minds amongst us. the most 'controversial' this site gets is in discussing shoulder rests and (well, it doesn't happen much anymore..unfortunately) whether french bows are better than other bows. maybe we could rate such topics as PG :o)

July 1, 2011 at 08:58 AM ·

Parental control is advised. This is one of the rauchier forums. Why do you think it is so popular; Content? Welcome. 

July 1, 2011 at 12:46 PM ·

#4 is relevant to your query.

July 1, 2011 at 12:58 PM ·

 I guess I should wait until she's 13 (in a couple of months) before she joins.  Just as well, I've asking her not to join Facebook until then also...

July 1, 2011 at 02:37 PM ·


I just wanted to suggest something as a parent...

for parental control I highly recommend you use opend DNS (just google 'open DNS') instead of Norton Security or any PC installed parental control.

what is the difference?

Norton Security or other PC installed parental controls are intalled on the computer/s and as such will only work on the computers it is installed on, but these days our children also use many other 'gadgets' which connect to the internet like mobile phones/iPads/playstations and so on....

Open DNS is a DNS address you give to your wireless router so that ALL devices which connect to the internet in your house will automatically be subject to parental controls.  You go to the open DNS website to specify the level of control you want, you can use a general setting to block all 'alcohol and gambling' or all 'adult content' websites, or you can block 'speficic' websites, or once you have blocked all 'alcohol and gambling' if you want you can tell open DNS there is ONE particular website you want people to be able to access and so on.

You are the administrator and when you go on your computer if you do not want the control to be in force you can turn it off on the computer you are using so that you can access the sites you want.

I love it and feel safe in the knowledge that anyone in my house cannot knowingly or unknowingly go on the wrong sites on the internet :)

OH and by the way: it is free to use, you can choose to pay a fee for some extra options but the basic features are free and the basic is secure and good enough! it does not slow down your computers either! 

it does not give 'virus' protection but as parental control is as good and as safe as any other parental control, I know as I have used many others before.

July 2, 2011 at 03:41 AM ·

 It's too young!


GET OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 2, 2011 at 12:04 PM ·

Ours is one of the most civil forums?? Oy!!  ;-)

Seriously though, I think it's a judgement call for you as a parent. Maybe let her lurk and read for a while...

July 2, 2011 at 12:57 PM ·

Christian,  LOL - but better behave yourself - or we might fall foul of a new 'too old' restriction....

July 3, 2011 at 03:37 PM ·

Great comments. Aside from the occasional double entendre (and I'm sure the average 12-year-old hears much, much worse), I think that some of the differences of opinion that have escalated into vicious personal attacks are far worse for a 12-year-old to read, but these seem to have lessened over the past few years. Otherwise, most contributors (from amateurs to consummate professional violinists and teachers, as well as others just interested in the art) show an appreciation, a love of music, an exceptional knowledge, and a willingness to share, not to mention the occasional (ahem) humorous comment. How can all this be unhealty for a 12-year-old?

July 6, 2011 at 03:23 PM ·

If she was my daughter, I would definitely allow her to become a member.   Compared to some sites that youngsters hang out on, this seems a well controlled and safe environment thanks to Laurie's hard work. 

Perhaps to begin with you might point her in the direction of particular threads that would appeal to her.   It sounds like you are the kind of parent who keeps an eye on her internet browsing anyway, which I think is the main issue when it comes to keeping youngsters on-line safe and sensible.

July 6, 2011 at 04:15 PM ·

 I told my daughter about  She's been perusing and said it was interesting.  I told her she could join if she wishes....  We'll see.

July 6, 2011 at 05:38 PM ·

I think allowing your daughter to joining this site is not a bad idea at all and I have nothing against it. This is one of the most polite and clean forums you can find online (cheers to Mrs Niles).

But we haven't heard from the Word of God yet. Hey Laurie, what do you think?

July 6, 2011 at 11:04 PM ·

But if you people would simply read the rules for this site (guidelines for writers), you would find that 13 is the minimum age, so no, she can't join at 12.

July 7, 2011 at 01:12 AM ·


I sometimes feel 12 is too old to join this site.....



July 7, 2011 at 11:49 AM ·

Good point.  The average 12 year old is more mature than many of the geezers that frequent this site.  I am a case in point. :-)

July 7, 2011 at 12:16 PM ·

I resemble that remark! ;-D

July 7, 2011 at 04:15 PM ·

I see nothing wrong with her joining. I am 16 years old now, but I was definitely violating the Children's Online Privacy Protection Act(COPPA) when I was 11, and even now I am still anti-COPPA. Each child is different and some are more than mature at the age of 10 while some are not mature enough even while 14. I know of one six-year old that has the vocabulary and maturity of a 10-year old.

In my honest opinion, if you feel that your daughter is mature enough to be reading and posting here, and Laurie Niles believes the same, then she should join. I would love to know the thoughts and opinions of a younger violin-oriented mind and I am sure that she has some questions for us. After all, music transcends age to connect with each of us in so many different ways, and it is here that we can share these new findings. In short, the more the merrier.

July 7, 2011 at 04:44 PM ·

Ive seen worse things in Any where you go in this world you risk hearing and seeing questionable things. This is a good group of folks all with the same love for music. Id rather have my 12 year old on here then numerous other sites.

July 7, 2011 at 06:39 PM ·

This reminds me of the old joke about the dad who walks over to his son and says, "Son, it's about time you and I had a talk about the birds and the bees...You know: sex." And the kid answers, "OK, Dad, what do you want to know?" To say that kids today are literally flooded with information that their parents have no control over is an understatement.

And as far as us old codgers are concerned, I.............(What was the topic again?)

July 8, 2011 at 04:48 PM ·

As the mother of 3...there's nothing on this site I would object to.

You should see what they're exposed to at school and with their friends.

July 9, 2011 at 03:58 PM ·

Heavens, 3 is very young to be a mother ...

July 9, 2011 at 04:11 PM · had me worried for a moment, so I double-checked...but I did type it correctly...the mother of 3...I didn't type a mother at 3...


July 9, 2011 at 09:06 PM ·

Yes, sorry, I felt the need for a joke, so that's why I took artistic licence ...

I used to do it with music but everyone nowdays wants it straight, bland and boring.

July 11, 2011 at 01:12 PM ·

I second what Smiley posted! :^D

July 11, 2011 at 02:56 PM ·

 I don't see a problem with it.  I've always felt welcome here. :)

July 18, 2011 at 10:14 PM ·

I agree with N.A. Mohr.  But I would also vote that people tone down their joking with the idea that there MIGHT be children reading.  One illustrious member (I won't name names) makes much more colorful comments sometimes on maestronet, but not here.  I just think that is too great a resource not to share with children.

July 18, 2011 at 11:34 PM ·

Its a bit of a ballance: sure I don't think anyone wants R-rated prose on but, no the other hand, if it becomes too PG13 and a few off-colour jokes are no longer tollerated I think you may loose some of the most insightful posters.  Come to think of it, there seems to have been rather a change in membership of late...

July 19, 2011 at 12:05 AM ·

Elise, I have always respected what you have posted in all discussions.  Can you please elaborate on what you see as a connection between new members (I've noticed myself) and off-color remarks?  Sometimes people say things just to make a "cute" remark, with no substance intended.  --Fran

July 19, 2011 at 12:36 PM ·

Sure; a simple example are jokes on the duality of the G string.  These can be very clever - and they appeal to the more cerebral amongst us (if I can include myself).  Humour is an integral element of discovery and fresh approach.  Its main requirement is an open mind both by the listener and the joker - once you put constraints on the form humour can take then you start to strangle both its originator and its recipient.  

In general society we have usually have to self edit even subtlely offensive humour because there are those that can not distinguish humourous but non-offensive intent from bigotry.  However, in smaller environments there can be a tacit understanding that the poster meant no harm.  I think that is the case here even though it is an open forum.

I hope that makes sense - I could write an essay!  And thank you for the compliment.

July 20, 2011 at 03:14 AM ·

Well, Elise.  I believe that it takes more intelligence to make GOOD off-color jokes than to make poor ones that offend a lot of people.  In fact, I've noticed that people can offend others on this forum without attempting any kind of humor.  As the mother of a 9-year old budding Sarah Silverman and Austin Powers fan (not to mention pianist), I don't have any personal objections to innuendo.  I was just trying to see this issue from another, possibly legitimate, viewpoint.  Of course,  at the end of the day it's up to Laurie and her objections have mostly been reserved for that set of members that offend without using humor.

Now--is this spell-checker British?  It objects to "humor" and "color"!


July 20, 2011 at 03:17 AM ·

Note to Sonny--I just reread your original posting.  The only thing I've seen in the past year or so that raised my eyebrows was the "bare-back" discussion in regards to shoulder rests recently.  Unlike the jokes about fiddling in the loo, that  required some extra creative thinking.

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