I have big goals for the violin. I plan on getting into the New York Philharmonic when i get older. However I only stared playing the violin a year ago and I'm also 15 years old who lives in a school district in Texas which the orchestra program is very competitive. I only have 3 1/2 more years until i have to play the some of the hardest music pieces ever created. I plan on getting into a great music school that could get me into a great professional Symphony. However, I always get discouraged when i pratice. I am always pressed for time no mater what. I've quit everything that i do outside school so I can focus on the violin. But then when practice time comes, I always get discouraged because I sound bad, not to add that in orchestra class im 6th chair 2nd violin in the Philharmonic (The lesser orchestra at my high school, Symphony is the highest) and my teacher dosen't believe that i can do anything because since I am in the lesser orchestra, everyone in the lesser orchestra is considered lazy, careless, etc. and I am not lazy or careless. The reason why Im in there is because of I have only been playing for a year and when she came to my old middle school for auditions for symphony I had only been playing for 3 months. She wanted us to play region music auditions (Super hard etudes!) which I was completely uncapbale of at that time. Anyways I only have 2 hours enough of pratice time and I usually end up falling asleep after the first hour because I don't get enough sleep everyday (5 hours) and the reason why I don't get enough sleep is because of family issues that never get solved. Then theres school homework. I can never get enough time to pratice and if I do, soemthing bad always happens. I feel the situation is hopeless. Is it still really hopeless? Do I even have a chance of becoming something great although I can only get 2 hours of pratice time in and I always feel stressed out and discouraged? And when Im not stressed out my family always gets in the way somehow. ive told them that I cant do everything in the fmaily and yet they continue to ignore me and my goals.
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