Flowers After Performances

February 27, 2007 at 09:03 PM · This may be a silly question, but here it goes anyway. After recitals concerts etc many times the soloist (if it is a female) gets flowers. What do you give a male? Are they given flowers also? Forgive this for being frivolous, especially with some of the deep discussions on here, but I've been wondering after an experience this weekend.

Replies (36)

February 27, 2007 at 09:06 PM · I've seen male soloists, and occasionally conductors, get flowers. I've never seen anyone get anything else. :)

Now I'm wondering about your experience, if you care to share it...did someone get criticized for giving flowers to a man?

February 28, 2007 at 08:15 AM ·

February 28, 2007 at 12:14 AM · If someone hands you flowers, you graciously accept them. To hand them to someone else in plain view is in incredibly poor taste. When you get home, of course you can get it to someone who would appreciate them more than you.

February 28, 2007 at 08:16 AM ·

February 28, 2007 at 12:23 AM · My brother and I just had a recital on Sunday and we both (being males) got a bunch of flowers.

February 28, 2007 at 12:34 AM · I like flowers.

February 28, 2007 at 12:49 AM · Jim,

I agree with you, but I wouldn't do it on stage, that would look tacky and a bit ungreatful. Once I'm out of the public eye, of course I'd give it away.

February 28, 2007 at 08:16 AM ·

February 28, 2007 at 01:16 AM · Jim... I probably do need such schooling, but I'm not talking about it from that perspective, it's more about how the person giving the flowers would feel if you just give them away, added to the fact that in today's age, if you hand a random women flowers, you might have a sexual harrassment suit on your hands.

I once played for a conductor who always shook the hands of principals, and if they were ladies, he'd kiss their hands. He was a totally charming man and everyone loved him, until one ice queen made a big scene and he was out of a job.

February 28, 2007 at 08:17 AM ·

February 28, 2007 at 01:27 AM · Pieter, look at the front page now. Start a Rock 'n' Roll Melissa thread. She might even get on here and talk to ya.

February 28, 2007 at 01:26 AM · I agree with Pieter, you shouldn't give the flowers to someone else, on stage. Imagine it was christmas and someone opened your present and then looked at the person next to him and said "here you can have it." It's pretty much like re-gifting!

February 28, 2007 at 08:34 AM ·

February 28, 2007 at 02:13 AM · You could only be harrassing a woman with flowers if you were beating her over the head with them.

February 28, 2007 at 02:18 AM · I don't think people are offended if you give away the flowers, as long as you don't act ungracious, like you are trying to drop a hot potato. Once a soloist got a dozen roses and handed each rose to the nearest ladies on stage, that was kind of fun! I seem to recall giving my own flowers away once, too, but I didn't get the sense people were offended. It's kind of just a humble thing to do. I suppose it just depends on the situation! For example, the soloist handing the flowers to the accompanist in acknowledgment of the accompanist's role in the recital, that's just a nice gesture all around, I think.

February 28, 2007 at 03:53 AM · Greetings,

flowers are pretty standard here and no offence is taken if the conducter hands them to the sub principle second instead of the concertmaster becaus eshe happens to be a woman. Perosnally, I always keep my flowers because I like them.. If anybody in Japan is reading this some cacti would be nice soon...



February 28, 2007 at 04:18 AM · "If you think anybody would sue you for giving them a flower, you live in a paranoid hell :D"

Actually Jim, it's not paranoid, it happened.

February 28, 2007 at 08:39 AM · Nah, it just wasn't me.

February 28, 2007 at 02:01 PM · Oh no Karen nothing like just. There was a male and female soloist and I was pondering what you give to show your appreciation to the male soloist. I was thinking roses would be so feminie what kind of "Foliage" would suit a guy.or any for that matter. Then my mind started to wonder to the Olymics where they give everybody the standard boquet....

February 28, 2007 at 05:34 PM · I personally like getting flowers even though I'm allergic to them! They symbolize the fact that I've prepared (hopefully) and done a good job and that someone has appreciated the work I've gone to in order to be prepared for a performance.

If you're a guy, it's perfectly reasonable to give them flowers, I think virtually every concert I've gone to where there has been a male soloist has received flowers. If you have a wife...I'm sure she'd love it if you kept the flowers :)

February 28, 2007 at 05:46 PM · but isn't the flowers prepared ahead of time, before they hear you play?:)

please, terri, we are on the edge of our seats and let us know what really happened!:)

March 1, 2007 at 08:15 AM · i did a concert in a very cute (small) town earlier this year with 6 other musicians- the girls got flowers and the guys got fudge. it was cute. i wanted fudge.

March 1, 2007 at 09:46 AM · Let's push for fudge instead of flowers! Fudge lasts longer than flowers, anyway. Just ask my thighs...

March 1, 2007 at 10:44 AM · I got this humongous bouquet of flowers after a sports contest. I wish it would have been fudge, that would have been cool! This huge bunch of flowers, which probably cost at least $100 (this was in Japan) just sat and got wiltier by the day in my hotel room. I should have gone and handed flowers around to people, Japan is the best place in the world to be a 'crazy gaijin' hehe.

March 1, 2007 at 01:22 PM · I played a benefit concert in Hotlanta once with Jose Carreras. He got a large tacky bouquet of flowers at the end of his set, and he gave them to the principle violist. It was a nice gesture, but she bragged about that for way, way too long.

I agree that chocolate is better. Chocolate is always better.

March 1, 2007 at 01:45 PM · How was the fudge given? Wrapped and tied with a ribbon?


March 1, 2007 at 01:56 PM · Chocolate? much as I love chocolate, I'd have to say that flowers are more the norm. I've never seen chocolate given to soloists - always flowers.

March 1, 2007 at 03:28 PM · As for "are flowers given to guys", one instance of that phenomenon is on the DVD where Maxim Vengerov plays Sibelius concerto, he gets a big bouquet of yellow roses as the audience is applauding wildly. It's really funny, first he's just like "Oh, thank you so much!" but then he looks at them and gets this confused look on his face like "Now what do I do with these things?" :)

March 1, 2007 at 03:48 PM · I played a concert with Lynn Harrell as soloist and he was given's ok... :)

March 1, 2007 at 04:47 PM · The reason I don't like getting bouquets of flowers on stage is not so much for the gender-bending issues, and still less for the "language of the flowers" which has yellow roses meaning things like "let's just be friends". Or whatever it does mean. I don't like getting bouquets, especially on tour, because leaving them in hotel rooms seems heartless (abandonment!) and ungrateful. And trekking through endless airports with suitcase(s), violin AND big, fluffy bouquets is just a pain.

But they's sure mighty purty.

March 1, 2007 at 05:20 PM · There are so many things you can do besides leave them in the hotel room. Sell them in the bar for $5 each. Do it with that hokey Russian accent you have; the guy will have to buy them just to not be out-charmed. Or put a tag on them like you bought them for the maid for being so efficient.

March 1, 2007 at 06:04 PM · just my two inflated cents... for those who want to show appreciation, why not give those flowers anyway, if that's how you feel, without thinking about lawsuits... then, for those receiving the flowers, why not keep one, then give one to each of the other deserving people. That way nobody would feel offended or threatened, on the contrary. Also, if you kept them all, why not take a picture of them if they were so precious to you, then leave them in the hotel room for someone else to enjoy (and eventually throw away)?

March 1, 2007 at 07:05 PM · They always give me a nice plant with clusters ofthree shiny leaves.

Poison Ivy.

March 1, 2007 at 08:15 PM ·

March 1, 2007 at 09:26 PM · I get flowers usually after a major concert or recital. I love it and don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man getting flowers. They are a universal token of gratitude!

I always keep them with me until I am backstage or home… then I give them to my wife and/or my mother and father as a token of my love and gratitude for their love and endless support.

I love flowers!

The photo is out of focus but I still love it!



March 2, 2007 at 05:21 AM · yes, actually the fudge was wrapped and had a bow on it or something. actually, i started giving out candy bouquets to my friends after their recitals years ago. flowers are nice a few at a time, but not after a performance.. i want something sweet after a concert!

but anyways, i think it's perfectly normal for flowers to be given to performers after a concert, regardless of gender. i also think it's really cute to see soloists pluck a flower from the bouquet and hand it to the concertmaster or something of that sort.

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