The accompanist says "you're in charge, I'm here for you." Then you start playing and you can't find the beat. She is playing broken chords and not landing on the top note when you think she should be according to the tempo you want. You two are not together. She stops. You, the soloist, are now "dragging." You have practiced this with a metronome above tempo and then ramped back to the tempo you decided on in order to keep from dragging. You felt comfortable with the tempo that morning while you were practicing in your living room before you got on stage. Now it's all weird, the performance is tomorrow, and you're starting to freak out.
Unfortunately the above scenario is not entirely fictional. I've had other experiences where someone said "you're the boss, I'm following you," but then when I tried to take that at face value it wasn't working out. Any tips on how to be the boss (without, of course, resorting to diva-like behavior)?
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