So, today the strings do swim in the river. Dog and all dog and all. Walked along the water with my best friend ever. The trees all sparkle, the maples bloom, the forest swells with spring gold. Ah, the golden green of the new leaf is the cleansing of all the old.
The night before in the rehearsal was not so bad, I'm not too ashamed about the performance we're going to do. I might stick around just for the hell of it next season, truthfully, I'm not really sure what I'm doing. Switching scenes is nerve racking...but being stuck in a rut is frustrating. phew breath, breath in out. I hate school. I just want to live in the trees.
Today I feel a lot of emotions. Mainly, fatigue. Sort of a "I'm sick of this stuff" nausea. Orchestra is truly the most thankless activity I've ever slaved in. I've had more satisfaction clearing a stretch of invasive stinging weeds than playing a damn Verdi opera. of course, the one activity has excitement and pain, the other, just pain. Also, working with disgruntled stuck up people that take them selves way too seriously tries on some patience I've cultivated from too many years in the community. Problem is starting over. Starting over from nowhere land...a welcome and liberating game plan. Tomorrow is the last orchestra I'll play in. That's what I'm thinking...trick is committing and not going back to the comfortable and familiar. Lets evolve.
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