July 2009

My War on My Music

July 28, 2009 20:30

 Vacation:  time off, relaxation, enjoyment, fun, zen, activities, leisure time, quality time, peacefulness, hobby time, etc.

Practice:  work, challenging, progression, schedule, barriers, boundaries, difficult, creativity, expression, discovery, breakthroughs, etc.

Guess where I've been the last couple months?  Which would you choose? =P

Well, this has been my first summer off of school in 3 years.  I've thoroughly enjoyed having a real vacation (more than 3 weeks off at once) and even took one from the violin in a way.  I played for my students, I practiced when waiting for students to arrive, I goofed around with Telemann Canonic thingies in Garage Band on my new MacBook.  Nothing too intense, except for that one 2 hour session on Lark Ascending at the beginning of the summer...

Now, school is approaching again.  It's my last year of grad school.  My graduate recital approaches, and I have so many desires, goals, and aspirations for that wondrously beautiful and surely traumatic event.  Time to get back to work, Self.

Going to try the new Vision Solo strings.  Hopefully, they'll arrive tomorrow from IUStrings.  Bought a Zoom H2 recorder today off Amazon.  I'm not able to get everything I want out of lessons, so I'm going to "lesson myself" via recording.  Not that I don't have a wonderful teacher, but he obviously can't teach me every moment of my practice and he doesn't get to hear my "real playing" from my practice room in a lesson anyway.

Obstacles:  performance anxiety, perfectionism, comparison mentality, intensely debilitating inner drive, negative outlook on likelihood of success based on past traumatic experiences.

Decision:  Remember that whatever chair I get, I will do the best I can.  Remember however a performance turns out, I will do the best I can.  Recall that I am not in this to be HIlary Hahn, and do not have to hold myself to her standards.  I should aspire to reach my potential, which is limitless.

Bring it on, school--tear that down!  I'm on the warpath.  Self, remember this when the going gets tough.

Now, let's make me some of my music. ;-)

7 replies | Archive link

More entries: April 2009

Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram Email

Violinist.com is made possible by...

Shar Music
Shar Music

Pirastro Strings
Pirastro Strings

Corilon Violins
Corilon Violins

Colburn School: Chamber Music Intensive
Colburn School: Chamber Music Intensive

Find a Summer Music Program
Find a Summer Music Program

Dimitri Musafia, Master Maker of Violin and Viola Cases
Dimitri Musafia, Master Maker of Violin and Viola Cases

Violinist.com Shopping Guide
Violinist.com Shopping Guide

Metzler Violin Shop

Bein & Company

Bay Fine Strings Violin Shop

Leatherwood Bespoke Rosin

Annapolis Bows & Violins

Los Angeles Violin Shop

String Masters

Bobelock Cases

Things 4 Strings LLC






Sleepy Puppy Press

Jargar Strings

J.R. Judd Violins, LLC

Southwest Strings

Nazareth Gevorkian Violins

Laurie's Books

Discover the best of Violinist.com in these collections of editor Laurie Niles' exclusive interviews.

Violinist.com Interviews Volume 1
Violinist.com Interviews Volume 1, with introduction by Hilary Hahn

Violinist.com Interviews Volume 2
Violinist.com Interviews Volume 2, with introduction by Rachel Barton Pine