Nothing's up lately. Practicing as usual, everyday. Everythings getting so repetitive. wake up, shower, go to tennis classes, wait for my sister's karate to finish go home at 12
lunch, practice until whenever my fingertips and I can take it, and put the instrument away until tomorrow. It's driving me nuts. I really need a good program to go to. It's so rare in Iran for a good concert to go on, that when one acctually does go on, tickets can hardly be found. either that, or I have finals, so I can't go any way( like last term, when the national orchestra had a preformance, right on the night of my arabic exam, (yes, we have to learn arabic here)). anyway, I've come to realize that after I practice a certain piece and practically master it, I tend to loose the feeling, it feels as if I'm a machine, just playing notes, with no emotion whatsoever. so I go to the lesson, play well, teacher says that was excellent, and I have this kind of numbness towards the piece. Its not that I don't try, it just doesn't come out. Its especially hard when I have recitals, good technics, but emotionally, nada, zip, nothing.
Guess I have to try harder.
So, I had this fight with one of my best friends. It wasn't really a huge fight, sort of like this really cold telephone call that lasted only 15 minutes(yes, only, because our record lowest when we start talking is like, 25). And I got so angry, that I decided the only thing I can do is to go and play something to take my mind off of it all. and I started playing and playing and playing, and I couldn't stop or take a break or anything, as I usually do when I practice. And I looked up at the clock and it was 9:30. I started at 6:30, and I couldn't believe that time had passed so quickly. And I couldn't go on, because the neighbors would well,.... And I wanted to say, that we should all be thankfull that we can turn to music to empty out our feelings, whether we're sad, or angry, or happy, or whatever. And I think that there is no better friend for us in the world, that listens better and consoles us than our instruments, especially the violin.
This is the first time I'm starting a blog online. I want to write here mostly to keep track of what I'm doing in the musical world, and if any one reads what I've written, so the rest of the world finds out what happens in Iran's music society. I guess that's enough for now. Bye
More entries: August 2004